Monday, December 30, 2013

What is your fashion covering?

Sunday, December 22, 2013

Worth Mentioning : Janelle Monae

"When I started my music career, I was a maid. I used to clean houses. My mother was a proud janitor. My stepfather, who raised me like his very own, worked at the post office and my father was a trashman. They all wore uniforms and that’s why I stand here today, in my black and white, and I wear my uniform to honor them.

This is a reminder that I have work to do. I have people to uplift. I have people to inspire. And today, I wear my uniform proudly as a Cover Girl. I want to be clear, young girls, I didn’t have to change who I was to become a Cover Girl. I didn’t have to become perfect because I’ve learned throughout my journey that perfection is the enemy of greatness.

Embrace what makes you unique, even if it makes others uncomfortable." - Janelle MonĂ¡e

I ran across this incredibly well spoken artist, and I felt compelled to share it with my readers..... Someone that actually has purpose is someone who is worthy of leadership and the spotlight. So if you are or are no familiar at least you will understand why she does what she does.... kudos Janelle

Thursday, December 19, 2013

"Freedom of Speech", #AmendmentNotReally

So, one of the most popular amendments that Americans commonly throw around supposedly to justify their any and every comment, thought, written expression or otherwise... However I have noticed a popular similarity that is disturbing.... It appears that this amendment seems to cover a sheer disproportionate amount of   dereliction and ideology that supports the mass media's agenda over even logical ideas. If someone dare speak out against the status quo, based on obvious truth's, their religion or their experience, they are met with serious backlashes. I want to address this because it is not right and it has been noted by myself and other's that continuously are perceived as negative, judgmental and old fashioned. If you as an individual so feel compelled to promote whatever you choose too, whatever god you choose to worship and or whatever lifestyle you choose to engage in... I too have the right to share mine. Even if mine is not in conjunction with yours. I am not afraid to say the things that are unpopular.... I am not afraid to speak on the things that my religion promotes or does not promote. I think it is truly saddening that so many that do speak on their platforms are met with so much dissension. I do blame the technology and social media though for taking a comment and spreading it like wildfire. I am disgusted by how so many speak their honest thoughts only to momentarily apologize and recant their words. I believe that just as the Bible informs "from the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks" that whether you catch alot of kickback for stating the facts.. you actually meant it, and should apologize accordingly. For instance, If you offend, do apologize because you offended, don't however pretend as if you misspoke as you did not. However I do encourage those with boldness to keep standing strong. There is certainly a need for your boldness in this current culture, and this is why you came to be in such a time as this. It reminds me of the story of Esther... who started from very humble beginnings but ended up becoming the queen that was in position to advocate for her people when they were in danger of being executed. Sometimes we may look at why we are met with so much slack.. and why it seems that so many are comfortable selling out, supporting and living in a way that not even they were raised to do. We look at them and wonder why they suppress the inner truth in their soul in pursuit of lust, money and power. How they are so comfortable selling their soul for earthly pleasures.. as we are assured the cost is indicatively specified for our actions. However, many more will be typical than radical..... Many more will silence their morals to appease the crowd, than represent the truth, and in many cases I do not even believe truth is the minority... yet it is simply portrayed that way....   

Thursday, December 12, 2013

Two sides to the Coin

As I continue to get older I had been able to determine that all of us.. no matter our origin or creed fall into one of two categories..... We are are either openly broken (in which we share, shamelessly, our faults, deficiencies, shortcomings) or we are secretly conniving (wealthy, powerful and deceptive). I have always surmised myself as proud.... too unwilling to share my weaknesses with the world. I have hated those that beg for everything and talk to anyone who would listen. The type of people that never seem to be proactive in avoiding many of the outcomes of their foolish choices. I unknowingly built myself into a very strong woman because I never wanted to be perceived as weak although I was not exempt of problems. I learned conversely to deal with my problems in private, which I believe from conferring with many people over many years, is the minority choice of how people choose to deal with their issues. They prefer to seek attention and pour it out in any way that they can. Those of us that keep troubles private are perceived as people that don't have problems, and get no empathy even when it is needed. I also believed that people of the same caliber attracted one another, but I was again, painfully found wrong. Now I have come to the conclusion... the we are either or, or as my title affectionately describes, two sides to a coin... that no matter what we are all imperfect people. Honestly those of us that have the means and wherewithal to cover our tracks are usually worse than those that boast theirs... because with this ability usually comes more and more secrets. 

Sunday, November 17, 2013

Dear Soldier

Today I read a story about a young soldier that was killed 2 months after his first son was born, and it lead me to question the nature of the sacrifice, especially for young black American soldiers. By all accounts, I know many friends that have enlisted at some point of time…. Commonly lured by the security, opportunity and prospect of assistance with higher educational costs. Most of those that I know never joined because they love this country and want to fight on its behalf….. matter of factly when the time for duty came.. they found themselves upset, unprepared and fearful of all that was at stake. Me personally, I don’t feel like there is any cause worth dying for… especially for this corrupt, deceitful, greedy, oppressive country. I find it an abomination that we actually will present ourselves as an example as affairs nationwide in this country are in disarray. How dare we try to organize issues abroad while Americans suffer? It is irresponsible and I would never ever jeopardize my life or my family to represent a country in which my black people have a very checkered past. Recently, I have been teaching my African husband about slavery, as he is completely amiss about such topics as the Klu Klux Klan, freedom riders, lynching just to name a few, an abomination that this country is yet to try to make right. Even within the military I have heard stories of racism among soldiers that fight on the same platoon….. wear the same uniform…. Represent the same country. It is that very fact that would never allow me to shed my blood. Period. I sympathize with the many black soldiers that have met their demise in our military and their families. And perhaps if you are considering joining the military, I encourage you count up the costs, and if the cost is indeed too high, I encourage you to refrain from putting your most precious commodity of life on the line for a country that stands for all the things that we do.. I ask you to question whether our influence is needed at this current time, or if it would be more wise for us to order our environment first before trying to mold other countries. The below clip showcases some of the challenges that the families of militarily experience as well as a heartfelt surprise. 

Sunday, November 10, 2013

So Absolutely Clever

So I ran across such a wonderful clever article today, I had to reference it with you guys.... So check it out. After recently having a baby and pondering about the true relevance of life. Charles Holmes decided to pursue his dream of becoming a cake maker. He drafted his official notice on a cake in as his brother in law calls it "spectacular" fashion. I found this so clever, and wanted to share it with all of you!

Friday, November 1, 2013

Let Me Vent Series: Newlywed: You are NO expert

Now this post will sound zippy... it will be potent and maybe a bit bitter....., but I am so unnerved by the energetic newlywed who has been married for maybe two weeks... and has become a love 'guru' of sorts, in their own mind, to the extent that they feel in position to advise others........ Perhaps mothers will liken this to the new mothers who gush about what their new babies will and wont do. I guess the truth is that the novelty wears off quick of our new experiences, with anything.....and maybe in these 'gurus' I see the same energetic expectant woman I used to be too.. before life and reality hit me with ten thousand bricks. It is fanciful to expect that we can maintain the same high level of excitement and freshness that comes with a new life change. We all want too... but how likely is it truly? I think it not wise to speak and attempt to advise others on any measure until suffice experience has been gained. Today on Facebook... I witnessed a newlywed going toe to toe with a woman who has been married for about five years. The newlywed was insistent on her stance.. and the other wife simply ended the exchange with "Time will tell you, honey".  Now I will be the first to articulate that in many things in life, we as individuals are certainly the controllers. We have the ability to direct our paths, but when we begin to integrate others (spouse & children) in our lives, it then can get a little bit more difficult to control every aspect. Marriage is one of those areas. In a marriage, you have control over your contributions, but little control over your spouse, although you are accountable for them. It has been my experience that in some cases the more you attempt to control the path of your marriage, the more difficult it can become. This was the message the more seasoned wife was trying to share to the newlywed, simply a fair honest warning.. but the newlywed staunchly advocated that the burden laid mostly on her shoulders.... that her husbands behaviors correspond with her behaviors... I wonder what she will do when he decides to do something independently.... but in the other wives words..... "Time will tell you, honey". Indeed.

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Time (30th Edition)

In younger days....

Turning 30 has been an unusual milestone for me.... Many look at is at a sign that they are getting older... that they have begun the decline, but for me, it has been an incredible awakening. No need for wild parties or drunken episodes, I chose to spend it in the exotic isles of my mother's birth country, Bermuda. My only desire was to spend such a precious time in my life, with those that know me well. I noticed such lovely details in my family and shared fulfilling times with them, I found myself thankful. I saw the comparisons between myself and people that I haven't seen in years. It was rather incredible the generosity and sheer happiness my family showed me, and it caused me to think about how some of us try to run as far as we can from our family... how we spend years or lifetimes trying to become or appeal to something that we are not....It made me understand in such a profound way my purpose.... to blend, to love, to help those around me that are missing such beautiful times shared. It caused me to not waste fleeting youth on trivial differences, that are inevitable. I have said it before, and I will say it again... that we are who we are because of the environments we come from. In order to interact with other people successfully, we must understand and appeal to those unique differences. This new decade for me is most crucial.. this is the decade in which I will become a mother, and can make or break the foundation of my future. I realized also in my trip that there are no set instructions to life. I have tried to follow the rules, believing that it would take me successfully from point A to B without hassle, only to find that it wasn't that simple. This life requires innovation, character and morals. It requires boldness, sincerity and compassion. In my ripe age of 30, I have learned that, and I am thankful. Some people ( like myself) have tried to avoid the process by subscribing to a black and white approach to life... Unfortunately, we are in the minority.. and no matter the high degree of planning, we will still find ourselves aiding others through there own processes. I have learned now.... that with relationships I can not be so rigid.... because inside each person is a beauty that the Lord wants to be cultivated, and for those of us with the tenacity to see such beauties... we are the ones charged with the responsibility in bringing out the best in those around us. It can seem tedious.. but I am certain without a doubt, that our Lord will reward us handsomely someday :-)
Me in vintage Versace

Monday, October 14, 2013


My mother always used to tell me that God helps the child who helps himself as I was a young tyke. She encouraged me to become independent and educated to avoid dependence that could hinder my life in the future. Over the weekend, I finally saw some sort of benefits for my independence as usually many are put of by it or intimidated by it. In America we have a large welfare supported population..... you will find that many that are close to you are receiving some sort of benefit from the government... either food stamps, childcare supplements, healthcare, housing or social security. I am all in favor for these programs as to be used in the situation of transitions : I.e. you find yourself on hard times, death, unemployment... but you must work towards becoming independent of the systems at some point.. not just living a lifestyle in which you depend on it. The past weekend, the E.B.T. system was down in Ohio and all the people that use food stamps to get food were unable to shop. However, my family and I do not utilize the system. We have been informed that we are over income to receive any sort of aid from the government, although we pay the taxes that support those that do use the system. This weekend I was very fortunate to be independent of the government... As I made several stops over the weekend to the carry out and the grocery... each time they reminded me that the E.B.T system was down.. and I reminded them that I had real currency to exchange for goods... Now I know the users of the system may be offended by this post, but the truth of the matter is this. Everything will eventually come to an end... you must always be prepared for the unexpected... especially if you are in a position that you depend greatly on someone or something for your lively hood. It is always good to have some money set aside or a back up plan for when or if such things occur.. Who could have ever foreseen a government shutdown? This weekend was a prime example of what my mother had always promoted me to be... and how distinguishing yourself from the crowd always pays off....

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Be Highly Motivated

After looking at some of my old pictures on Facebook one July day. I decided to put forth some serious effort to slim back down to my college days. I have been working diligently ever since and seeing the results makes me excited, I want to share with my followers my progress. My current goal is not necessarily weight loss, but the fit of my clothes and my look in my pictures. I intend to make fitness just a regular part of my lifestyle. My current regimen has been working out at least 5 days a week, including at least 45 min of cardio ( running 15 min, and striving to complete 5 miles on the still bike) I do a small amount of abs each day and some weights too tighten up my upper body. However the most important aspect of getting your body in shape is getting your diet in order. I have been trying to limit my fast food intake... lol and pack lunch as much as possible.



Monday, October 7, 2013

The Worry of Age

As I was watching tv.. I couldn't help but notice all the commercials geared at beauty  and anti aging products. I thought to myself that it was a shame that we can't appreciate the blessing of getting older. Yes, of course some people won't look as good as others.. that's human nature.. however all the time we spend time dressing up the wrinkles, dying our hair and other measures to mask the natural process of growing older and wiser and looking the part. The truth of the matter is that living a long life is a blessing. As we see death on a daily basis... many times, unfortunate and abrupt endings to lives. I actually was moved to tears the other day at my job when I noticed a co-workers picture on her desk. The picture was of an extremely happy baby boy with down syndrome. He looked so excited in the picture, I couldn't help to ask her if the picture was of her son. She said no, that the picture was of her two year old nephew that had drowned last summer. Apparently, his older sister had left the door unlocked, and the boy was always quite inquisitive and energetic. It was just a moment before they realized the stillness in the house, and called the police to notify them of a missing child. The area they lived in was a rural area and heavily wooded. When the police arrived, they brought search dogs which sniffed out the boy which had drowned in a small pond in the woods. I was instantly floored... thinking about many different aspects of how that impacted all that knew the boy. The loss of a child can create an incredible void. The guilt of his family for feeling like they didn't protect him or that they felt like they even created the circumstances that lead to his death. Just so many things ran through my mind.. I burst into tears and couldn't collect myself for some time. The most profound thought that I had was about my own life.. Just thinking about how I have put myself in many dangerous situations, and how God continues to protect me. On the days where I was late to work.. and he kept me from a car wreck. The plane trips that I took that he kept the plane from falling out the sky. How my body works without my instruction.... All the food I eat, and I have never choked to death.... and I wondered why he finds so much purpose in me. Why he chooses to keep me here, when so many pass away. So therefore, I say all this to say that if God allows you to grow old.... rejoice in it instead of trying to recapture youth....

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

For Granted....

So somehow a in a freak accident this past weekend, I scratched my eye. If you are not aware I wear contact lenses and do not currently own a pair of eyeglasses (which is totally irresponsible, I admit). My eye was getting so red and irritated, I had to remove my contact, and rather than walk around with an unpredictable crazy wandering eye... I decided to purchase a medical eye patch from the pharmacy to give my irritated eye a chance to heal. However through my experience, I was made painfully aware the difficulties that visually impaired people and other disabled people go through on a daily basis just doing everyday things.

This morning when I was getting dressed for work and doing my eye makeup was the first instance I noticed the difference. Usually when applying eye shadow and eyeliner.. I will close the eye that I am making up... and use the other eye to see. With my right eye under the patch, once i closed my left eye.. that was it, no sight.....
The next challenge was driving myself to work. I had to be extra cautious making turns and lane changes because my visibility was down half.
The next aspect of my temporary disability was the perception and behavior of my peers and friends. One of my dearest male friends that is usually quick to compliment on my looks, was put off by my patch. It made me consider intimate situations.. and how insecure it could make a person feel. I am naturally a very confident woman and secure in her looks... but for just a moment... it made me question my appeal... so much more for those that suffer from authentic irreversible conditions.....
At work.. I was quite the spectacle.... Almost everyone I ran into that didn't know the situation stopped to ask me what was wrong. I wasn't offended, but I could understand how someone could be... or simply feel identified by their disability because it is the nature of people to constantly question and bring your differences to the forefront. Overall the whole experience made me recognize how wonderfully blessed and fortunate I am to have all my faculties about myself.. nothing missing, nothing broken, nothing lacking. It also made me come face to face with the realities that some face each day. Many of us take these things for granted, as we should be forever appreciative........ Thank you Lord.

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Let Me Vent Series: Less is More & More is Less

The older I get, the more I realize this very truth. While our American culture is busy promoting a perpetual consumer lifestyle.. I am wiser to subscribe to the opposite. I have already had more than my share of material things. I have a nice car, clothing.. I have traveled, modestly around the world, and none of these things satiate me. I think we have all run across someone whom we might deem as less fortunate at some point in our lives, amazingly, these individuals seems much more laid back.. and unconcerned with all that swirls around them. Now the trick to this concept is not necessarily to digress to poverty, but shave off unnecessary stresses. On my most recent trip to Bermuda, I observed some of my family that lived fairly simple lives. Taking it all in, I found that I was very comfortable and had less stress without some of the modern 'conveniences' . The hustle and bustle of my lifestyle in the states is crazy. Sometimes you will find yourself so busy, you don't even have time for family or the things that you rather be doing with your time. I sincerely believe that reducing some extraneous needs will alleviate pressures to keep up. Also by doing this, you may have some free time to spend doing more meaningful things such as: spending time with family, exercising , time in devotion, volunteering etc... The inverse of obtaining too many things and being unsatisfied with all that you gain is equally as frustrating. Money & possessions can never fill your soul. I have shared my mentality with many around me only to receive blank stares. Warren Buffet once said "Be greedy when others are fearful and be fearful when others are greedy". This is just some of notable advice that helped him amass exorbitant wealth, but not let it go to his head. I'm now at a stage in my life in which I desire to be somewhat average, after spending the majority of my life ascertaining to unrealistic standards. I also recently came across this interesting algorithm from China. It was in regards to the crisis that educated, successful women are experiencing in the country. The simple observation was that A grade men pursue B grade women, B grade men pursue C grade women, C grade men pursue D grade women.. to the effect that all that is left is A grade women and D grade men. I think this speaks also to what many black women experience in their dating lives. Because so many of us have been socialized to be "strong" & "independent" it elevates us into a class by ourselves, which therefore often times results in extended periods of singleness or settling. Understanding moderation in all areas of our lives can be so beneficial.

Sunday, September 15, 2013

Fact & Fiction

I have never been an emotional decision maker... I have always thought it to be more practical to access things purely through fact or fiction. Logically looking at situations is not popular, but it cuts out the difficulty. Emotions are constantly fleeting.. so to build life on them will continually keep you at a disadvantage. Often times the two choices presented before you are not easy.. however.. if you opt to make a tough choice sooner than later, it can save you unnecessary heartache. Because naturally the more you invest into a situation, say for instance, a relationship that never can work... the more connected you become, and the more intense the pain in the future. Again.. i know this information is not pleasant to hear, but as I look back over my life... and recant the few occasions of embarrassment and pain, I realize that I went against my logic and made choices off of hope and emotion. Each of these instances could have been avoided if I would have acknowledged the cardinal signs that I was made aware of. Now that I have matured into a woman... I vehemently strive to avoid emotionally dangerous situations, and I encourage you to do the same....

Sunday, September 8, 2013

I will only speak if....

I have something worthwhile to say. Currently there is so much chatter in our culture.. so many misleading voices.. and I thank God that I have had the blessing an d opportunity to be raised without complete inundation from the media. I have observed many in leadership positions, that truly have nothing to say... and misuse their platform, but I resolve to use my words carefully, and I believe that is why many have grown to trust me and consult me before they make tough choices. I have also been blessed with wisdom, because I have always asked God for it. Now realistically it is a tough thing to ask for and receive, because it will truly set you apart from your peers. Being a member of facebook.. I see deeply into the messages people update their status with.. i see the true despair or ignorance behind their words, and I have self consciously vowed to only speak words of truth and in good time, because the people that always talk are filled with nothing but air, and the most profound people choose their expressions carefully. In at time where there is so much noise and foolishness, those of us with real truth to share must cautiously speak. WE must do the things we say.. we must be about our fathers business. we must not pollute the atmosphere with things that do not promote God in our lives... we must be honest that we should often go against society's standards to truly reach happiness and success.

Thursday, September 5, 2013

"Y is a Crooked Letter...

And it can't be straightened out", My mother always used to say to me as a child.  I didn't fully understand it then, but as an adult, I cant truly see the logic. We will often find ourselves in challenging situations where difficult choices will ensue, and it is natural to question why it has come to be. We will entertain alternative realities in which we didn't have to make the choices, but it still doesn't change the fact. We will ponder timing and spend time considering the consequences of right and wrong, and determine whether or not we want to pay the associated costs. The fact of the matter is that "time and chance happen to everyone" however we must understand that our steps have been ordered by the Lord. It is not for us to determine the how, why, or "lean not unto our own understanding". What we can surmise is that our Lord is "working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory". To be honest, this is an area of my life where I really struggle. I have never been the kind of woman to sit idle while I feel like my dreams and future happiness is on the line. I believe the Lord has sent an angel to strengthen me in this area. Someone who helps me make hard choices, because in the end the most important piece to any situation you may find yourself in, is making the best choice. It is taking action over deliberating continually. I encourage you if you are someone who constantly questions, learn how to make choices, and save the complaints. Stay prayerful and decide.

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Let Me Vent Series: Lets talk Standards in Black & White

So a friend of mine posed a very interesting question on Facebook.... and I wanted to expound my thoughts, here with you... <3

Mark Holmes · 37 followers

  • In 2012, 51% of white women married but only 26% of black women married. What is it about black women that is causing men to not marry them as much as men marrying white women? Comments anyone?

    Now since I am of color.... I wanna address this issue as a black woman who loves black 

    men. I have never been a basher.. but more less a believer of black men's innate potential 

    to become great. I have loved their appearance, creativity and tenacity all of my life.. and 

    initially believed that my husband would be a black man.. However over the years I was 

    met with so many disparaging factors that caused me to move on. As I observed women 

    worldwide of all ethnicity's (Asian, African, Spanish and European) It occurred to me the 

    phenomenon was happening here in the U.S. at an astonishing pace over other countries. I 

    also observed that foreigners that came here either went one of two directions in life.. they 

    either decided to keep very tight with the existing community here from their home country 

    and marrying from that pool or they assimilated to the western lifestyle in which they 

     would  party and become promiscuous or become interested in white American women. As


    black women we are continuously told of the "shortage" of good black men, also coupled 

    with our undying loyalty towards them. Many households are without a proper example of a

    family unit and how the man an woman SHOULD interact with each other.... This sets the 

    stage for a dangerous lifestyle. Black women actually feel impressed or empowered to land 

    a black man.. regardless of what he is or has to offer... Some women are reduced to 

    shameful mediums to keep their prized black man..... Black women are also more likely to 

    settle for a relationship that they are not happy with just for the sake of companionship. On 

    the flip side...... White women are not going for the indefinite girlfriend position.... and I 

    don't even necessarily attribute it to love but gain. White women are all about receiving 

    benefits and they know the benefit of being married and raising your children in such an 

    environment. Unfortunately, Black women seem not to be realizing this.. I even have single 

    friends that are anxious to begin families.. they have told me that if they reach a certain age

     without being married they will just go and get knocked up and become a single parent.. I 

    believe several of these factors are causing incredible problems within the community 

    because it simple perpetuates the problem further into other generations.... AS my friend 

    stated this topic on his page.. I heard every excuse in the book from: White women are 

    easy, Black men are afraid of a strong black woman, slavery and various other factors.. but 

    I simply attribute it to the lack of structure in our country and in our mentality. Americans 

    live in a reality in which they seek endless pleasure which is an unrealistic expectation. 

    Women and men alike are looking for a mate that doesn't exist which prolongs marriage as 

    well promotes unhappiness in existing relationships.

    The meat: What this all boils down is too is expectations. The lack and the establishing of 

    them. It is not popular.. and it can prolong your search for love and companionship, but it 

    can also prevent wasted time and broken hearts. I believe that is one of the key differences 

    between white women and black women, is that white women are usually socialized around 

    married couples throughout their lives, and they do not see getting married as an 

    unattainable goal, whereas some black women that do get married may be one of the few 

    to have done so in their family. I know that it is difficult, but if you are not getting what you 

    need or what out of a relationship you may considering sharing your thoughts with your 

    mate, and if un-receptive, considering to move on............ If you have invested umpteen 

    years and your mate still doesn't see you as a potential lifelong partner, when do you 

    actually surmise he will? I believe as a generation we must begin to be more realistic about 

    our lives and future. We must analyze those that came before us, and how they actually 

    made life work if we wish to emulate it. If we are not willing to endure anything we can 

    expect to receive what our ancestors did.

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Christians: The Two Things You Need to Succeed in Life; Discipline & Obedience

I have always been the kind of person who was lead by Shakespeare's famous line "To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man." from his Hamlet masterpiece... I have always believed to be brutally honest to myself as well as others and never deny myself the cravings of my heart.. but that was before I decided to serve the Lord.. I then came into the great understanding that although I may have the liberty to do anything that I choose... discipline is always required. I have now surmised for someone of great position and leadership with the possession of both discipline and obedience to God, you will be able to address all of your problems. Either you will choose not to engage in sinful behavior or simply obey God's word, but either way... you win. Now I have come to this assumption after observing so many humans, and the ways they try to circumvent God's instruction for life. You will find that people always take action with motives in place, instead of disciplining themselves or being obedient.. For instance in marriage, you will find that many people marry for all types of reasons: love,sex, financial & political gain, companionship, religion, to have children just to name a few. The irony with those that have married for improper motives is whatever you were hoping to gain from your manipulated marriage will be the one area that you will lack until you discipline yourself. People also do scandalous things to acquire money.... and often times they end up misusing their ill gotten gains or loosing it altogether. I used to believe that if I felt like doing something that I should.. that in some cases I could not overcome my desires, and I assumed that becoming a Christian would alleviate these struggles, however becoming a true Christian simply provides you the tools to control yourself... not too completely strip your world of the things that tempt you. At times you may (as I have) find yourself in a place where you wish to do something but you KNOW God does not condone it and this is where you apply obedience. For instance, if you happen to be interested in the homosexual lifestyle, but you love and admonish you Lord, you can consult your word and find out that God does not approve such behavior.. at that point.... if doing God's will supersedes doing your own... you can choose to obey over your own wishes... In some cases God is testing you.... in others he wants you to avoid the issue all together. A prime example of this is in Gen: 22. Such is the story of Abraham and his beloved son, Issac. Now if you are not familiar with Abraham story let me catch you up to speed. Abraham and his wife Sarah were promised to have a child in their youth, and did not bear a son until they were in their 90's. This son was named Issac and Abraham cherished him so.... IN Gen 22 God instructs Abraham to take his son up on the mountain to make a sacrifice  Along the way it is revealed to Abraham that Issac is to be the sacrifice. Abraham proceeds to tie his son down to a and place the wood for sacrifice... Now if you can only imagine what giving your only son up for sacrifice meant.... Surely so many thoughts were going through his head, however he chose to OBEY over questioning.... What happened next was wonderful, and I'm sure Abraham was so relieved.......

12 “Do not lay a hand on the boy,” he said. “Do not do anything to him. Now I know that you fear God,because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son.
13 Abraham looked up and there in a thicket he saw a ram[a] caught by its horns. He went over and took the ram and sacrificed it as a burnt offering instead of his son. 14 So Abraham called that place The Lord Will Provide. And to this day it is said, “On the mountain of the Lord it will be provided.
15 The angel of the Lord called to Abraham from heaven a second time 16 and said, “I swear by myself,declares the Lord, that because you have done this and have not withheld your son, your only son, 17 I will surely bless you and make your descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as the sand on the seashore. Your descendants will take possession of the cities of their enemies, 18 and through your offspring[b]all nations on earth will be blessed,[c] because you have obeyed me.”

SO in closing..... you will see just as God delivered for Abraham & Issac, he can deliver for you. Often we feel that we do not have the strength to turn away from sin habits that we love.. apply discipline in these areas.... and once you are lead to do God's will.... apply obedience.. its a WIN WIN combination.. AMEN!!!!!!!

Sunday, August 11, 2013

Natural Hair? Yea.. Whatever

The Artist Formally known as......

Approximately one month ago I decided to end my so called "natural" hair journey that I had embarked on 3 years earlier. I surmised that if my "natural" hair was always braided up, weaved or wigged up, and never really visible, what in the world was the point. I'm not really into those nappy styles.. so rocking bantu knots and such things is just not my cup of tea. I do like braids, micros and twist, but after seeing a girl from college that used to wear her hair in such all the time recently and being shocked at her receding hairline, I decided to relax my hair
for versatility and convenience because I'm an on the go person why stays active, and doesn't have the time or desire for all the upkeep "natural" hair requires. For instance... I have a nice pool at my apartment complex.... Many times I have been deterred in getting in.. simply thinking about my hair, and what taking an impromptu splash in the pool requires. I realized that natural is you and however you decide to wear your hair. I missed days in which I could just wash and style my hair in a reasonable time. I missed running my hand through it without any attachments or tracks. I missed looking like myself and seeing my natural hair color before it is full of grays. I didn't want to miss one more moment of life because of my hair. So anyway.. I just wanted to share this with someone who may be ready for a change with their hair. I am so much more happier with my smooth silky permed hair.. More happier than I have been in a while... The air blowing through it is priceless. It may be the style to rock "natural" unprocessed hair right now... but honestly, It not for everyone..... So do you girl!

Friday, August 9, 2013

The Blame Game

Today I want to discuss what is commonly known as the blame game..... In other words finding someone or something responsible for your misfortune(s). I want to begin by telling all who know me, and or attempt to hold me responsible for anything other than my own life and own actions.... I am not the cause of your demise... You are. The truth is that we are where we are due to a series of actions that we have or have not taken in our lives. We (the individual) are completely responsible for the outcome of our decisions. We have the ability to negotiate and research other's outcomes before we ever make a move. In our current generation I find that so many people play this dangerous game..... and use it as an excuse to never succeed. We have to begin by admitting.. most of the choices we took that lead us down bad pathways, we were aware of the chance that it may not work out favorable, but we chose to risk it. I believe that due to the utter distraction of our media and the perpetuation of the false"American Dream", we are lead to believe in the unfair exchange of doing very little or nothing for a big return. We have been jaded into believing that we can start off on a bad path, and make it legitimate. What, I would like to offer you if you may be distracted by the things around you, is to understand the Law of Gravity  or popularly known as "What goes up must come down". This simply states and is further solidified by Issac Newton's other law as well as the 3rd  Law of Motion which in scientific lingo states "for every action there is an reaction". If you are an reasonably intelligent person, you know that it is wise to not make judgement based on emotion, but fact and probability. If you are distracted.. it is best to strip away the feelings and look at the facts. Not even in the moral sense, but in the scientific sense, we are made to understand that every move we make will be reciprocated.  We roll the dice taking the chance that we can make wrong into right... and then look for a blame scapegoat when we are displeased with the outcome. Where you stand in your current position may be discouraging.. perhaps you even have regrets... but I just want to remind you that as long as you live... you have an opportunity to turn things around for the good. Now taking things a bit further for those of us are Christians.. we not only understand the law of science, but we also know that our Lord will too hold us accountable. I must say for me, this is the most critical of all because I know that even if I may not receive punishment in the natural.. If  have wronged someone or something... I will have to account for it to the Lord... Our Bible warns..... " Be not deceived, God is not mocked. That whatsoever a man soweth, he shall also reap" - Galatians 6:7 Now for those of you that are not so knowledgeable with your Bible, let me explain the groundwork of this passage. It not only serves as a checkmate for the believer... but it also answered the age old assumption that we can reap seeds from other folks harvest's such as our parents, grandparents or what they are more commonly referred to as trans-generational curses.... This passage was in response to that. Because even in biblical times, people were using the behaviors of their parents to excuse their lifestyles.. The Lord addressed it, and made it clear that whatever the (individual) does.. the (individual) will have to make account of. Do remember that you are able to get yourself on track... but this will require you being mature.. and first addressing your role in your mistakes.. not anyone else s .

Saturday, August 3, 2013


So I was on location for my 30th birthday in Bermuda..... As i visited family members I haven't seen in years, and got brought up to speed on current events.. I am reminded that politics exist everywhere. Politics in government make you upset, but politics within families make me vex. I'm for the life trying to figure how trivial things can separate blood family members. how they can pass like ships in the night live in such close proximity of one another, but not mind each other. I truly believe that broken families are perpetuated by the enemy. Broken families lead to broken people which makes the enemy's job run smoother. People that feel disconnected are more likely to behave in a reckless manner. I encourage those of you that are currently living in the midst of broken families to do something about it. Perhaps you are the missing link to bring them all back together. Often those that are leaders may want to escape the responsibility that comes with leadership, but if you commonly find yourself being pushed to the forefront or people are always seeking your advice.. it is very possible that you are the one needed for the job.... As I reminisce over some of the most purposed by God in our Bible.. I can derive that many tried to avoid it, but once they stepped into the light... were quite effective and revered. As I was in Bermuda I made it a point to see all my family. I didn't care what existing circumstances were present... and through my choice, I was able to see my family interacting with each other at least for my sake. So, the moral of my story is do it.... do whatever is needed to get your family together. If it is on your path, you are equipped to deal with it.... don't wait for the next person to do it... it is meant for you to do it!

Saturday, July 27, 2013

Rainbows: The origin.......

Over the Rainbow
I was having a conversation with a coworker about the origin of rainbows.. I suppose I shouldn't have been surprised to learn that he didn't know the origin of the rainbow, as out culture has twisted and attempted to pervert such a beautiful phenom. Let me first share the mention of it in the Bible :
 in Genesis, chapter 9 (8 thru 16), this very interesting account.
Much time passed, and the waters of the great flood finally receded, and Noah put his Ark on dry land. God spoke unto Noah, and to his sons with him saying:
And I, “Behold I establish my covenant with you, and with your seed after you. And, with every living creature that is with you, of the fowl, of the cattle, and every beast of the earth that is with you; from all that go out of the ark to every beast of the earth.
And, ” I will establish my covenant with you; neither shall all flesh be cut off any more by the waters of a flood; neither shall there any more be a flood to destroy the earth.”
And God said ” This is the token of the covenant which I make between me and you and every living creature that is with you, for perpetual generations.
” I do set my bow in the cloud, and it shall be a token of a covenant between me and the earth.”
” And it shall come to pass, when I bring a cloud over the earth, that the bow shall be seen in the cloud.”
“And I will remember my covenant, which is between me and you and every living creature of all flesh; and the waters shall no more be a flood to destroy all flesh.”
” And the bow shall be in the cloud; and I will look upon it, that I may remember “the everlasting covenant between God and every living creature of all flesh that is upon the earth”.

Before you run around just going with everything you see and hear, you should do your research..... The rainbow represents a promise from God... not Pride that will come before the fall........ 

Thursday, July 25, 2013

"Blind Faith" & Why We Believe

The Holy Bible

I am seeing this terminology more and more in assumption that those of us that subscribe to be Christians, love God and desire to follow his written words to the best of our ability have "blind faith"...... As to say that we are not literate, coherent individuals with the ability to negotiate and reason truth.... The fact of the matter is that to truly believe and follow God is a choice... we are not brainwashed... we are not held captive with a gun to our head, that lead us to the conclusion that we should become Christians..... Many of us have experiences that have lead us this way.. we have seen things, been told things. We understand without a shadow of a doubt that God is real..... we read our Bibles and see the promises and words of God coming true. This is why we believe.. this is why we speak out.. this is why we take it seriously.. and try to warn those around us that we care for the ramifications of not acknowledging God and or implementing him into our lives. We understand that there is a price for all of our actions, and that it is wise to order our steps.. A prime example of this was the story of Noah. God instructed him to build the ark.. and the whole community heckled him and acted as if he was crazy... However when the day came when it began to rain, Noah was vindicated.. suddenly all the people that doubted him were begging for a spot on the ark, but the time was too late. Also in the parable of the Groom and the 10 virgins (Matthew 25:1-3), you will see an illustration of 5 virgins that prepared for a sudden arrival of the groom, and five virgins that were foolish and unprepared. It this example, they five that chose not to ready for their big day missed out..... So I share these points to make those that are ignorant; blatantly aware, that those of us real Christians...... ( I'm talking about the ones that won't apologize for God's word or have their own rendition... don't back down in the face of adversity, judge themselves by the same measures they judge you, serve and put actions with their beliefs) do not have 'blind faith'... we have sure faith. We are anchored by our Lord... we are certain in him, and like a tree planted by the waters... we shall not be moved.

Monday, July 22, 2013

Ode to the Raggedy Broad

Have you ever dealt with someone that was totally disillusioned with how important they really were? They believed in their mind that they were so special, and that anyone who didnt agree with them or condone their lifestyle.. was a hater? Do you know a woman that stirs up trouble with another and then doesn't wish to solve it.. detracting by either by getting other people involved or by arguing... Do you know someone that uses social media to add fuel to the fire, knowing they would NEVER say any of these false claims to the accused person's face? Well if you you answered yes to any of these questions..... you will feel my 'Ode to the Raggedy Broad'

Dear Ms. Raggedy,
We have had so many run ins... and I feel greatly misunderstood. You are always busy stirring up drama, never giving me a chance to speak. I believe that somewhere along the line, I gave you the impression that I cared about how you live your life and or who you date.... You believed that I spoke about you in your absence  when I never did.. Quite frankly... you thought much more of yourself than I ever did.... For the record, I look at your life as an example, If you dont have things that i aspire to get.. I would never expend too much time on you.. just to be honest. If you have a raggedy car, man or look.. consider yourself unimportant to me. Ask yourself in all honesty.. what do you have that someone else may desire to get? And if the woman that is 'hating' on you has more.. why would she be jealous.... if your man is a bum, who else besides you would want him? I mean, really? You stir up trouble with a person you KNOW will solve it just cause you crave attention. I want you to know for the first and last time... you are raggedy and unimportant... if anything you can learn from me.. I am what you have always tried to be.

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Obviously a race thing..........

Cry Me A River

Daddy's Home

In the wake of all the emotion of the outcome of the Trayvon Martin case, I have felt compelled to state my thoughts on the whole fiasco....... Above I have placed two pictures of mega superstars Justin Timberlake & Usher... without a shadow of a doubt if the youth in the hoodie that Mr. Zimmerman was profiling was not of color, he would have not ended up dead on the sidewalk. I have a major problem that this man walked off scot-free for his crimes.. not even an involuntary manslaughter verdict was in order.... So in essence, this young man was killed in cold blood and no one is being held responsible. In my own ways, I have been provoked by white people and then reprimanded when I respond to them.. it is an un discussed occurrence that people of color endure on a daily basis... Now...... the truth of the matter is that I am the last person to claim the race card.. I am of an biracial background.... and I really wish that things could be judged equally in this world, but I know the reality.. however I don't think everyone does..... For instance all you ladies and gents with biracial children, you do know that they are black, right? If you happen to be white and you think that a young black man with a bag of skittles poses a threat, imagine that being the face of your own mulatto child.....cause as far as the world sees it...... they are black too (one drop rule).Perhaps it will take some mixed kids getting mistreated until we can see some widespread reform.... I understand that there is alot of black on black crime, but two wrongs don't make a right..... we can't allow these types of standards to be allowed in our country..... It opens the gates for more despair than you know..... I also want to know where all the celebrities that photographed themselves with their hood up are with their support.... It never ceases to amaze me that folks with so much influence and position, choose to keep to themselves on such crucial matters.. just goes to show why none of them should be regarded as role models.

Monday, July 15, 2013



1.of, in, or pertaining to the latest    trend or style.
2.following the latest trends or fashions; up-to-date or chic: the trendy young generation.
3.appealing to faddish taste: a trendy hotel.
Sadly, I'm coming to realize exactly how trendy our society really truly is through social media... One minute everyone is obsessed with a certain topic.... the next minute they are discussing minute by minute updates to a T.V series.. and it never ceases to amaze me, how few at the same time are discussing other things, perhaps even serious, thought provoking matters. I can't tell you how many times I have been unaware of an event only to log on to my Facebook to be inundated with updates of some awards show, sitcom, breaking news.. but most often extraneous information....Most recently it has been the verdict of the Trayvon Martin case that has totally flooded social media, and is causes me to ask the necessary question...... Since so many people have strong feelings about what happened to the boy and the outcome of the case... why didn't anyone (including all the bloody celebrities that have been photographed wearing their hood up in the likeness of Trayvon) take up donations to afford Trayvon a proper legal counsel? Why all the banter after the fact..... but most importantly, why is it so crucial? Does anyone else see the other issues we have looming in our country? The blatant disrespect of our gracious God that provides? The fact of the matter is that NONE of us are completely innocent of anything.. we have all sinned and all fallen short. Now don't misconstrue where I'm going with this.. because I do not agree that someone should just have the right to aggress against someone, and then take their life once they decide to fight back.. but what I am saying is that these occurrences happen all the time. Racially based crimes and convictions/lack of convictions are threaded deeply in the American judicial system. I find it laughable that my peers ( and I do use the term lightly) thought that something would be different in this case.  In our media we watch the media slander victims and hero's alike.... the reason for such efforts is because drama sells.... everyone thrives off discord. Flowers & smiles don't 'trend' on, but Kim Kardashian and Boston Massacres' do..... We live in a world that 'feels' their way through, negating taking action, hence the disappointing outcome of this young man's case.... My charge to you is to start doing something.... if you 'feel' compelled about something....... DO SOMETHING........ Perhaps if some of these people in position would have taken action, the outcome could have been different. Perhaps is someone would have taken the time they wasted tweeting, and organized a fundraiser for his family...... they could have been afforded better legal counsel. We are collectively too stagnant for our own good.... and spilling our feelings all over the place. If you want something to change or improve... you WILL have to take action.

Saturday, July 13, 2013

P Square - Alingo [Official Video]

Not a Role Model......

I came across an article that stated some realities about Mrs. Beyonce Carter.. it was a letter addressed to our first lady Michelle Obama, and I couldn't agree more. Beyonce perpetuates the ultimate lifestyle in which you are a provocative woman that commands the most respect and lives out her dreams....  She continually laces her music with deceptive lyrics that delude so many women.... I want to share this open letter with you so that you can be the judge......... I can't tell you how many times I have heard women or girls say they aspire to have what she appears to have (romance, career, etc). She claims to be a Christian woman while never sharing the gospel. If you truly represent something, it must resonate in your life in some way besides just words.......

By Rakhi Kumar
Dear Michelle Obama,
I'm addressing this to you because I admire you. Because you're smart and a mum to two young girls. And you're the First Lady of the USA. And because you were recently quoted as saying that Beyonce is a great 'role model' to your two daughters, and because you recently tweeted, after the Superbowl, that you were 'so proud' of her. I'm writing because everything you do is admired and emulated by so many; but when you endorse a recording artist like Beyonce, I see the most misogynistic aspects of the music industry (that prefers girls to be no more complex than dolls) interpret your comments as a seal of approval for the thoughtless cultural currency that they flood the youth market with. I'm writing because I think it's time to stop suggesting to very young girls that ultimate feminine success - in the music industry or anywhere else - comes with the need, or the expectation for them to undress. 
When Beyonce kicked off her Mrs. Carter Show World Tour two nights ago, wearing her sheer bodysuit with nipples showing, to me she performed the final degradation of her talent; a retrogressive transformation that has taken someone stellar and otherworldly, and made them into something dreadfully familiar and sad.
Variations of Beyonce's body suit can be found in brothels, strip clubs, and red light districts across the world - where sex is for sale and it happens to be dispensed through a woman's body. That she is a human being with feelings and dreams, perhaps a sister, a mother, a leader, a teacher, a student - ALWAYS - a daughter - all of this can be forgotten. In those surroundings a suit like Beyonce's would look far from glamorous. Maybe just downright heartbreaking as a woman somewhere becomes an object, available for the gratification of a desire - at a price dictated by her 'managers'.
Next time you're presented with a shortlist of people in popular culture who you should spend time with or commend, think about how many young girls want to be just like Beyonce: Beyonce who sings 'Bow Down Bitch' and wears sheer bodysuits and high heels, singing about making money and being independent.
Remember that in the USA, the average age of a girl when she is trafficked for sex for the first time is 13.
 Remember that she's often brought into the 'life' by drug dealers who promise her a celebrity lifestyle, clothes like the ones Beyonce wears, and situations where she can live like Queen Bey: looking hot, being desired by alpha males, wielding power over others with her body and sexuality. 
Understand that in an obscene act of manipulation by the young men who will pimp them, for a very short amount of time - maybe only for a half an hour in one of their early encounters - young girls who are trafficked do actually get to taste the experience that they have identified as ultimate feminine success: they get given hot pants or body suits like the one Beyonce's dancing in, they dance for men who find them alluring, and for a very short time, these very young girls are convinced that they've made it - only to be assaulted, abused, and sometimes murdered in the years ahead, by the men who they thought wanted them.
Beyonce, performing in sheer body suits, nipples displayed, mouth open, high heels and sheer tights, shaking her butt on stage, can no longer be held by world leaders as an icon of female success.
Because for as long as she is, we are feeding a demonic myth that women must make themselves sexually available to enjoy ultimate success. And it is demonic because the impact this myth has on those most vulnerable young girls who fall pray to, is unimaginably horrible.
It can take years of a young girl's life away from her when she tries to escape a life of abuse at home by believing promises of money and glamor, sexual allure and power - a life just like the most successful women in the world; only to be sold for sex, beaten, and made addicted to drugs. It can take a chance of an educated, secure future away from her; and sometimes, if she can't find an exit - it can take her very life away from her.
Beyonce is a singer and a songwriter. She doesn't need to wear see through clothes or body suits to sing. We know that because we've seen her singing accapella in a hospital in a pair of jeans and a T-shirt and - and she sounded like a celestial being from a different dimension.
She doesn't have to do this. She's choosing to. And she's not the first or only one woman to do it. And like the many women who have played this game the way they have, her reasons may be economic, artistic, personal or even misunderstood. But whatever her reasons, her influence cannot be underestimated or misunderstood.
It's time that young girls were sent a different message. A more refined, intelligent message. A message that engaged them at the level of their intellect and potential because implicit in our message to them should be the acknowledgement that they are naturally brilliant and that we believe that they are capable of everything - without ever having to undress to achieve their success.
The work here is to re etch the self image and self worth of young girls who think that sexualizing themselves is necessary to be powerful or successful.
 So please, let it be known that Beyonce is not a role model.
She may have a lot of money, and she may have enormous influence.
But she can no longer be called a role model.
(Unless you think it would be really cool for Sasha or Malia to follow her example and sing songs for people on a stage whilst wearing sheer gold glitter bodysuits detailing the contours of their body, under the management of their daddy and/or their husband).
Instead, call out those who deliberately allow their sexual identity to eclipse the genius of their spirit and sacredness of their soul. Tell young girls that they are more than that. Engage with artists who sing, dance, write, design, perform - but whose presentation centers on showcasing the brilliance of their brain, not their body.
 If I had daughters I'd tell them to pass on the Beyonce show because when you're wearing a sheer see through body suit with nipples on display, no matter how much gold thread in it - I don't see any light coming out of it. I just see a glowing ball of soullessness. 
I'd say to my girls: all that's gold doesn't glitter. Let's find something genuinely luminous…and take them to a Lorna Simpson exhibition, or a C.C White concert, or hand them a Zadie Smith book.