Friday, November 1, 2013

Let Me Vent Series: Newlywed: You are NO expert

Now this post will sound zippy... it will be potent and maybe a bit bitter....., but I am so unnerved by the energetic newlywed who has been married for maybe two weeks... and has become a love 'guru' of sorts, in their own mind, to the extent that they feel in position to advise others........ Perhaps mothers will liken this to the new mothers who gush about what their new babies will and wont do. I guess the truth is that the novelty wears off quick of our new experiences, with anything.....and maybe in these 'gurus' I see the same energetic expectant woman I used to be too.. before life and reality hit me with ten thousand bricks. It is fanciful to expect that we can maintain the same high level of excitement and freshness that comes with a new life change. We all want too... but how likely is it truly? I think it not wise to speak and attempt to advise others on any measure until suffice experience has been gained. Today on Facebook... I witnessed a newlywed going toe to toe with a woman who has been married for about five years. The newlywed was insistent on her stance.. and the other wife simply ended the exchange with "Time will tell you, honey".  Now I will be the first to articulate that in many things in life, we as individuals are certainly the controllers. We have the ability to direct our paths, but when we begin to integrate others (spouse & children) in our lives, it then can get a little bit more difficult to control every aspect. Marriage is one of those areas. In a marriage, you have control over your contributions, but little control over your spouse, although you are accountable for them. It has been my experience that in some cases the more you attempt to control the path of your marriage, the more difficult it can become. This was the message the more seasoned wife was trying to share to the newlywed, simply a fair honest warning.. but the newlywed staunchly advocated that the burden laid mostly on her shoulders.... that her husbands behaviors correspond with her behaviors... I wonder what she will do when he decides to do something independently.... but in the other wives words..... "Time will tell you, honey". Indeed.

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