My First Motivational Video! Check It Out!!!

Bridging the Gap (African American & African Relations)

I learned very early in the game that I was not white... although smart and vibrant amongst my mostly white class at the private school I attended for most of my childhood life. Inasmuch as I tried to fit in with them, I never did. The next most natural response that i could come up with was assimilating with black people. Seemed quite logical that if I didn't belong with those that I had been raised with, I belonged elsewhere. However due to my complexion, and the way I spoke I wasn't always well received by my black American peers either, coupled with the fact that I had already cultivated fine tastes in which some of my peers could not relate.. I found my self caught between a tug of war. Some people are not ok with their blackness. They spend their whole life wishing to be something else. I never saw my blackness as a weakness, yet as a strength. I have also gravitated towards foreigners because I felt that they could relate to the type of lifestyle I am looking to cultivate. Pursuing foreigners has brought a host of other unforeseen issues, as I had to learn that cultural differences do indeed exist even between people of color. One huge conflict that rips me apart is that between Native Africans (born and raised in Africa) and Black Americans (born and raised in the United States). It the ridiculous stereotypes that Americans have against Africans.. coupled by the perceived 'arrogant' attitudes of the Africans. Being a product of a mixed and blended family, I found some aspects of it as a magnet for hate, envy and confusion. I gradually decided I would put the blackness back in my future by reconnecting with Africans. To date I have made great strides, and I am certain I'll leave behind a legacy my children will love. One that helps them embrace not only their own blackness, but that of others. My deep love for people of color shocks everyone , but most of all other people of color. Fortunately through social media I have been connecting with people worldwide, and it saddens me that so many of them are anxious to move to the U.S, although (from my travels I am actually permitted to compare and contrast) some of their quality of life is better in their home country. The whole purpose of writing this blog and by having my YouTube channel is dispelling some stereotypes and speaking the truth. I desire to know Africans better, I desire for them to teach me about my blackness in its purest form.I want to be more resourceful. I honestly believe so much is to be gained if we bridge this gap.. Will you help me?

Let Me Vent Series: Hey Black Girls... Why cant we get along with each other?

There is nothing worse than the war between black women... Whether it be the lightskin/darksin drama or the hood vs. oreo. It is annoying and stupid. The truth of the matter is that we all as women of color go through it.. we all experience challenges, and we need to learn to show love and be understanding to one another. When you say "you dont get along with girls", you look and sound stupid. You are a woman.. you should at least be able to relate to women... smh. Otherwise how can you raise your daughters? How can oyu prepare them for their life? There is strength in unity. There is power in love. With all the other factors we deal with in our lives, this needs to be one less problem. im serious.. it really gets under my skin.. ~Real Talk

Black Woman... You are so gorgeous.....

With all the most disparaging things in the American media that can damage and discourage black women, I can not cease to remind all my women of color... how gorgeous you are.. how fantastic and smart you are... and full of innovation. Today, I want to highlight five of our most beautiful qualities:

1. OUR HUMOR
I have to admit.. my friends are some of the most witty and uplifting people I know. They have great spirits and a great sense of humor. I love the fact that in times of despair they are there to restore and alleviate some of life's stresses momentarily.

Some of my most fondest people: Tina,Michelle and Mom

2.OUR "KEEP-IT-TOGETHER-NESS"
No one keeps it all together like my black sisters. We manage to keep our hair together, run a household, take classes, and work a full time job. We balance church with the gym. We make meals out of scraps. We have social lives as we carefully care for our children. Other races marvel at our tenacity and ability to manage so many things at one time.. Kudos, Girl.... keep doing your thing!

Working Girl

3.OUR BOLDNESS
If one thing is for sure, we do not shy when the opportunity to represent,speak up,correct and support comes. From Rosa Parks to Michelle Obama. From Oprah to Sybrina Fulton (Treyvon Martin's Mom).From Aretha to Billie Holiday.... we consistently deliver creativity and heart.We have the ability to shed light and bring about change. We motivate others in our various circles.. and it is an aspect that we do naturally. I am proud of all me women of color that speak from the heart and strategize from their minds..

IN THIS GYM... GOING HARD #TeamSideProfile

4.OUR LOYALTY
We are loyal to the core, no matter the area of our lives. A black woman will not turn her back on her children. If she is a professional, she is full of ambition excelling to the highest of heights. For her man, she will invest and love with all her heart. No one can pull her from her faith... she will trust in God without reservation and dedicate her life. A friend will be a friend for life, even if we have a disagreement or grow apart. I love the fact that I have grown with some of my friends. It is such a blessing to be surrounded by people I know will be there for me on both sunny and rainy days. <3

Me and Morrisa... #FriendsForever

5. OUR VARIETY
I love the versatility of women of color. Some go natural.. some look like Beyonce. Some are petite and some are Amazon women, but its all beauty. It shows the handiwork of our Lord and his divine creativity. We are unmatched. Some of our best physical features are given naturally as the others clamor to augment themselves. Celebrate yourselves! Variety is the spice of life! 

My little sister Alonee and I <3

Black women; The Example, The leaders and the standard

I ran across a random video on Facebook of a non black twerking contest and that's when it hit me why the world is so much more critical of women of color than everyone else, it is because we are the natural born leaders . We are so innovative ,beautiful, confident, and strong. We lead in many different roles...which other races struggle to manage.  We create fashion. .. have always been creative with our hair and nails. .... and although we are consistently criticized we are seemingly emulated from our innate style down to the way we shake our assets. Lets be honest, black women innovated lively dance. Europeans were always conservative in their delicate ballets while African women shook things up. .. twerking is borne to us. Once a white broad does it....they make a big deal. Even from slavery days black women have been superior. unfortunately the credits go unnoticed. We have to learn to find the strength from within to withstand all the derogatory factors around us designed to tear us down... and we have to learn not to ingest the foolishness. Taking it in and beginning to believe it will lead to depression, low self esteem, and dissastifaction in life in general. Take it from me, I know just how frustrating it can be. Im an emotional person and it rips me to the core to see black women be copied but not given credit, but I want to encourage you to stick to your core values when the going gets tough.. Do not give up, and do not give in. Continue to innovate and create. A copy can never be as plush as the original.......  

The Real Black "Supermodel"

I ran across this picture, and felt like I should share because I'm not sure if alot of mom's understand the gravity as their role as a mother to the next generation. Often, parents entertain foolish behaviors that becomes the foundation of their child's life, and as someone concerned about the future, I am extremely observant. Many grow up in households where they wish they were elsewhere, only to attempt to mold a lifestyle that will leave them unfulfilled. These people tend to displace the blame, and believe that the solution of their problems is on the other side. Not so, unfortunately. But preparing your child the best that you possibly can, and being honest about some of the challenges that people of color face, you give them a tremendous start in their lives. For the woman of color, there are many disparaging obstacles that may face them, there is no need to further put them behind the eight-ball. Naturally, what our parents, and I place most of that weight on the mothers, expose us to forms our personality and perspective. It is beyond critical that we do the most thorough job as possible. Do you think your children really want to be a thug like their no good daddy? Do you think your daughter should invite provocative attention distracting her from school and progress? And of course,  there are two sides to the coin. Do you think that because you have arrived that your black child turn his or her back on the community that they no longer feel a part of? All such things play a factor.Think about it. 

Redefine Cool: We Are The Standard Of Beauty

Timeless Beauty: Iman

I have found so many people to be so impressionable and non creative, too afraid to be who they really are which might actually be a very cool unique person. I want you to know that all of us are made different for that purpose.... and I'm not speaking to those that suffer from emotional issues.. and are running around constantly re-inventing their look because they have low self esteem. When you are naturally cool and confident, it shows and it's like a magnet. I have to encourage more of us to reinvent cool, and by that I mean be you with the kind of confidence that motivates other. Confidence is different from arrogance. Confidence is the level of comfort you have in your own skin, and I believe it is what is seriously lacking in our culture today. This is why so many people are emulating the next person.... because they can't find the worth in themselves. For black women, it is finding that level of acceptance in our bodies and hair. It is loving ourselves and not desiring to be anything else. I do realize that society is very unforgiving to women of color, and feeds into negative stereotypes, but I believe it is because we are the most beautiful of women.. and we get our beauty naturally. Gorgeous skin, teeth and shapes.. we are the envy of the other women. What God has blessed us with, other races pay big bucks for. Simultaneously, they convince us that we are less than and not the standard of beauty meanwhile all the other women are trying to emulate what we have, it doesn't make sense???? We age well, bounce back after children and remain stylish. We are strong and intelligent... we have tenacity and ambition. We push past our pain to make more of our lives. We are innovative and creative.......So in closing today..... tune out the madness, and learn to love yourself. It all starts with you. Don't be mislead.... we are the standard of beauty......

Ghetto Love..... Is It Worth The Cost?

Jim Jones & Crissy

Cast of Love & Hip Hop

Ciara & Future

I know a few girls that have been dealing with the same man for years. I have heard the stories of the ups and downs, the tears, the disappointments and the broken promises. I have watched some of these girls stand beside their 'boo' through court dates, incarceration, hospital stays from gun play or other violence,custody battles, baby mama drama etc. I wonder if the perpetuation of ghetto love is worth the high stakes and the high cost? Should a woman pine and chase after a man? Is it even right??? I see that recently almost all the black reality shows glorify these type of 'relationships' and I use that term liberally.Strategically, they showcase black women in place as the baby mama,ex, live in girlfriend,and longtime boo. They chronicle the drama and the struggle of the ghetto relationship, and I wonder why a young beautiful black girl with no baggage of her own would even desire something as unhealthy as what is shown? I wonder if subconsciously we as women of color don't believe that we deserve a more traditional relationship that includes: stability, acknowledgement and commitment. I wonder if we feel like having a family that shares the same name and lives and grows with each other is outdated. Not to ever say that the traditional model is without its problems.. but I'm often disgusted at how many of my beautiful black peers subject themselves to futures marred by drama caused by someone hardly worthy of the attention. I personally know women that have stayed with men for years without any type of commitment or acknowledgement. I have watched, in awe as some of these girls begin the journey of parenthood with these same men, that often have many other children that they may not even be able to support. I suppose my mentality is different because I often choose to judge a book by it cover, although that is not popular among my peers. I would never take chances with someone who has demonstrated in the past the type of behaviors like the ones I describe. I wonder if it is exciting, yet it still merits asking at what cost and embarrassment? Seems to me that the exhilaration of a bad boy is far more costly than its worth.... What do you think?

Attention Black Girl: It's Ok To Be and Look Like a Black Girl

Whatever you do, don't forget to shine!!!!

Gorgeous Variations;I love my baby sister
Alonee <3

Me & Nicola kicking it in Miami

As I surf the net, read Facebook comments and opinions, watch various YouTube videos and see the black women featured on t.v. and reality shows.. I can't deny that there is a desperate need for someone to remind the black girl (of all nationalities) that it is ok... to be black. It is ok to have colored skin, curves and nappy/kinky/curly hair. I'm just wondering where did the national standard of beauty come from... that makes women of color feel like they have to transform into something else to be beautiful? I think the most attractive piece of anyone is their level of self confidence. I have seen the most ugliest, under dressed, fat and unattractive person ooze with so much confidence that it spilled on to the next person. Self confidence is sexy... its contagious because everyone wants it. What kind of man wants a mopey depressed woman? When you have flavor it shows, and it can be a major game changer. I will use Christopher Wallace aka Notorious B.I.G. as an example. Now before he became famous, all that most could see was a big, black,fat man with a lazy eye, but B.I.G was so confident and it transferred into his music. Next thing you know people were trying to emulate him in his talent and dress. To this day, Versace & Coogi brands are associated with B.I.G because he rocked them faithfully. So the moral of the story is: I know that there are many contrary images that flood our media, and might trick an insecure woman into believing that her look and race is not suffice, but the love, and admiration must come from within. You can never hope for someone else to define you. You were made unique because that is who you are supposed to be. Ascertaining to others looks and such is a colossal waste of energy, meanwhile you could be learning how to refine and perfect your own palette of gorgeous unique talents and gifts. 

Michelle always brings a smile <3

You don't have to believe me, but I am just someone that learned to work with what I have (which also includes a lazy eye) and master it. Now people around me want to emulate me because I appear to be so confident, and I was able to attract a wonderful man.I must credit my parents for teaching me how to love and accept myself. It all begins in the home and with yourself. Parents need to do a better job of peeling their kids away from the computer or T.V. and pouring something valuable into their minds. Lastly, I believe that if more people learned to be themselves, we all could be better resources to other people like us that are struggling. I believe that when people see me, and see me make it and achieve my dreams, it gives them motivation to accomplish things in their own lives, but how can we be examples to others if we ourselves are confused? Such is the versatility of a black woman... let us celebrate!!!!! 

Me and My Girl Markeyta :-)

Women of Color, We Must Learn To Love Ourselves More

Not For Me: Open letter to the Arrogant Black Man

Dear Arrogant Black Man,


I think I should be the one to tell you not all black women are desperate.. that not all pine after any man that walks past them.. not all will reduce their standards.... and I happen to be in that group. Although I see many many sisters that have cheapened themselves by actually believing that their entire existence is about finding a man.. I am quite confident that there are equal or more that know their value... and I'm not talking about your over zealous, feminist, independent, attitude toting females that will flip the script the first time a man looks their way... I'm talking about the real sisters doing this thing called life without regrets and #Winning.

Let me first begin by addressing all these sorry brothers who think more of themselves than they should.... Let me tell you, you are no prize.. you are ordinary,common.... a dime a dozen. Any women with two eyes can see that you can repeatedly and repetitively be replaced... *snap* just like that. You think you are a hot commodity because of your nice car, college education or average looks? You think any woman is lucky to be graced with your presence??? Really? When you stroll around with your exotic, white or non black female.... you think all the sisters in the area are paying attention to you guys???..... Na... you couldn't be further from the truth, not all of us...Na. And I am no bitter, angry black woman... I am gorgeous and happily married to and African man that was prepared to provide me the comforts and the commitment that you were unprepared or unable to give.... My man came with no tattoos, children or unhealthy habits (smoking or drinking to say the least). He speaks multiple languages, is well educated and quite handsome. Even in some crazy chain of events something occurred to my husband.. I would marry African all over again... most Black American men are lame to me, just to be honest..... and I just thought I would let you know.In my opinion, African men are the cream of the crop, and that's why for me.. you are yesterday's news. I'm excited the other women chose to inherit your issues.... it was a path I was never ever prepared to subject myself too.. a bunch of runts.. smh... I have heard you dog black females in so many ways.. although your mother is one... and often so is the mother of your children. Calling them, ghetto, loud, and drama just to name a few. Now I know it does certainly apply to some.... but many of us are not that way... and you are too intimidated to even interact with a woman that has her own. You prefer to deal with the impressionable,controllable,naive and ignorant ones. It makes you feel comfortable, or the need to be less responsible. I craved a man that still wanted to run his house. A man that had a desire to provide and protect his woman... a man that was able to see my value and not be afraid to let the whole world know where he stood.. Not an arrogant man yet a confident man. Also for the record, I'm not attracted to hood guys.. never have been. I have always known engaging in that kind of relationship was short lived. I have always considered my future.. and I guess that's why I never considered you. By chance if you have managed to attract a gorgeous, sophisticated black woman please do her right... she will always be loyal to you, and put you first if you know how to finesse her. As for the rest.... I am happy you are doing your thing, wherever you can... because again.... you are no prize.

*DISCLAIMER.... this letter goes out to a certain type of black man... not all of them... and all opinions and views are those exclusively of www.blkandtrue.blogspot.com owner and author Jeena Effoe.

Signed 
~Afrikan Superstar

What is your fashion covering?

Time (30th Edition)

In younger days....

Turning 30 has been an unusual milestone for me.... Many look at is at a sign that they are getting older... that they have begun the decline, but for me, it has been an incredible awakening. No need for wild parties or drunken episodes, I chose to spend it in the exotic isles of my mother's birth country, Bermuda. My only desire was to spend such a precious time in my life, with those that know me well. I noticed such lovely details in my family and shared fulfilling times with them, I found myself thankful. I saw the comparisons between myself and people that I haven't seen in years. It was rather incredible the generosity and sheer happiness my family showed me, and it caused me to think about how some of us try to run as far as we can from our family... how we spend years or lifetimes trying to become or appeal to something that we are not....It made me understand in such a profound way my purpose.... to blend, to love, to help those around me that are missing such beautiful times shared. It caused me to not waste fleeting youth on trivial differences, that are inevitable. I have said it before, and I will say it again... that we are who we are because of the environments we come from. In order to interact with other people successfully, we must understand and appeal to those unique differences. This new decade for me is most crucial.. this is the decade in which I will become a mother, and can make or break the foundation of my future. I realized also in my trip that there are no set instructions to life. I have tried to follow the rules, believing that it would take me successfully from point A to B without hassle, only to find that it wasn't that simple. This life requires innovation, character and morals. It requires boldness, sincerity and compassion. In my ripe age of 30, I have learned that, and I am thankful. Some people ( like myself) have tried to avoid the process by subscribing to a black and white approach to life... Unfortunately, we are in the minority.. and no matter the high degree of planning, we will still find ourselves aiding others through there own processes. I have learned now.... that with relationships I can not be so rigid.... because inside each person is a beauty that the Lord wants to be cultivated, and for those of us with the tenacity to see such beauties... we are the ones charged with the responsibility in bringing out the best in those around us. It can seem tedious.. but I am certain without a doubt, that our Lord will reward us handsomely someday :-)

Me in vintage Versace

For Granted....

So somehow a in a freak accident this past weekend, I scratched my eye. If you are not aware I wear contact lenses and do not currently own a pair of eyeglasses (which is totally irresponsible, I admit). My eye was getting so red and irritated, I had to remove my contact, and rather than walk around with an unpredictable crazy wandering eye... I decided to purchase a medical eye patch from the pharmacy to give my irritated eye a chance to heal. However through my experience, I was made painfully aware the difficulties that visually impaired people and other disabled people go through on a daily basis just doing everyday things.

This morning when I was getting dressed for work and doing my eye makeup was the first instance I noticed the difference. Usually when applying eye shadow and eyeliner.. I will close the eye that I am making up... and use the other eye to see. With my right eye under the patch, once i closed my left eye.. that was it, no sight.....

The next challenge was driving myself to work. I had to be extra cautious making turns and lane changes because my visibility was down half.

The next aspect of my temporary disability was the perception and behavior of my peers and friends. One of my dearest male friends that is usually quick to compliment on my looks, was put off by my patch. It made me consider intimate situations.. and how insecure it could make a person feel. I am naturally a very confident woman and secure in her looks... but for just a moment... it made me question my appeal... so much more for those that suffer from authentic irreversible conditions.....

At work.. I was quite the spectacle.... Almost everyone I ran into that didn't know the situation stopped to ask me what was wrong. I wasn't offended, but I could understand how someone could be... or simply feel identified by their disability because it is the nature of people to constantly question and bring your differences to the forefront. Overall the whole experience made me recognize how wonderfully blessed and fortunate I am to have all my faculties about myself.. nothing missing, nothing broken, nothing lacking. It also made me come face to face with the realities that some face each day. Many of us take these things for granted, as we should be forever appreciative........ Thank you Lord.

Natural Hair? Yea.. Whatever

The Artist Formally known as......

Approximately one month ago I decided to end my so called "natural" hair journey that I had embarked on 3 years earlier. I surmised that if my "natural" hair was always braided up, weaved or wigged up, and never really visible, what in the world was the point. I'm not really into those nappy styles.. so rocking bantu knots and such things is just not my cup of tea. I do like braids, micros and twist, but after seeing a girl from college that used to wear her hair in such all the time recently and being shocked at her receding hairline, I decided to relax my hair

for versatility and convenience because I'm an on the go person why stays active, and doesn't have the time or desire for all the upkeep "natural" hair requires. For instance... I have a nice pool at my apartment complex.... Many times I have been deterred in getting in.. simply thinking about my hair, and what taking an impromptu splash in the pool requires. I realized that natural is you and however you decide to wear your hair. I missed days in which I could just wash and style my hair in a reasonable time. I missed running my hand through it without any attachments or tracks. I missed looking like myself and seeing my natural hair color before it is full of grays. I didn't want to miss one more moment of life because of my hair. So anyway.. I just wanted to share this with someone who may be ready for a change with their hair. I am so much more happier with my smooth silky permed hair.. More happier than I have been in a while... The air blowing through it is priceless. It may be the style to rock "natural" unprocessed hair right now... but honestly, It not for everyone..... So do you girl!