I realize that life is often comprised of endless and discouraging obstacles that threaten to destroy, delay or hinder your future, and often times we take even more detrimental actions by self medicating ourselves with things we understand will not alleviate or aid our problems. Sometimes self medicating becomes a problem in itself by cultivating some type of addiction or insatiable desire. It could be anger, violence, sex, alcohol, drugging, over eating, retail therapy,stealing, or scheming..... only you know what spells relief for you when you are upset or sad. My charge for all of you is to find a positive outlet. No one can get you on track but yourself, and diverting your path can do you so much more harm than good. Self medicating is a subject that most like to avoid because it applies to all of us in some form or fashion. However, unhealthy urges can be conquered.. and the daily frustrations of life can be channeled into better avenues. I just want to send some encouragement out to those beating back their "medicine booty" as my Pastor calls it, and to let you know.. you aren't the only one fighting.. but you can win!
Wednesday, May 28, 2014
Thursday, May 22, 2014
Monday, May 12, 2014
With Mother's day just passing.. I find it fitting to discuss my reasoning behind the disproportionate single motherhood that cradles the African American community. Many will not want to hear or acknowledge this truth.. but it is still relevant. I read my Facebook feed yesterday and was somewhat disappointed in many of the status's from the single mothers because I happened to know some of their stories personally. I happened to know how they understood clearly the questionable circumstances they were bringing children into, yet they proceeded. I remembered hearing the warnings from family, friends and even sometimes the other women that also had children with these guys, yet for some reason, the women still chose to believe and hope to a fault. Now fast forward to present times... and these same women complain that the father of their children wants no parts. He chooses not to invest in their child. Chooses not to support and is cold and is also callous to the mother of their child/children. Common sense would tell someone that in many many cases the past is a great indicator of future performance. Therefore, I believe that BAD JUDGEMENT is the #1 source of this epidemic. I hold the women mostly responsible for their own demise, although it takes two to make the baby. In every childbirth the woman is the one that sacrifices the most. They have everything to lose or gain by an unwanted pregnancy which requires an elevated sense of prevention. We have seen it as a reoccurring theme in our culture, and should not be so foolish to ignore the cardinal signs, this is not a game. This is our future... One can not inflict responsibility. One can not mature another person or impute the importance of parenthood... Such things are an individual's responsibility. Honestly I believe most these culprits hope falsely that the child would be the glue that bonds the relationship.
Now perhaps you feel like I'm coming way too hard on the ladies, but I am more concerned with the social impacts to our community too sit by idly as I see my peers making repetitive mistakes. I am upset that in a society where we have the most exposure and the most prevention of unwanted/unplanned pregnancies, this issue is still rampant. I understand the unforeseen factors that have fostered some single parents, but the vast majority of people are CHOOSING this walk, and they are sacrificing the best interests of their children for their selfishness and foolishness. I once crossed one of the most gorgeous women I have ever seen in my life, who shared with me she was Haitian and Indian. I proceeded to ask her if she had ever been to India, and that's when she poured out some the of the realities of her specific experience. She shared with me that neither her mother or father could handle her birth, and that she had been shuffled around foster cares her whole life. She told me of the struggle to find herself because of the lack of connection to her heritage. I wondered what her parents motives were.. if it was a one night stand or forbidden union. Both of them failed to take any responsibility, and left their baby girl to find her way on her own. One moment of conception totally shaped someone else's life. Becoming a parent should never be taken as lightly as it is in modern day society. On moment of pleasure impacts the whole world. Think intently about the quality of your child's life, childhood and future before you rashly make choices. Word.
Tuesday, May 6, 2014
As many of you know, The Black Jet Lag Project is well underway, and yesterday I had a cyber conversation with a childhood friend of mine over Facebook. He seemed to be confused with my plan, and vehemently implied that it would not be successful, and for just a moment I found myself getting flustered, offended and discouraged. Until I decided to turn those emotions into determination. Until I decided that he would eat his words. Much more than the other cultures, do we as black people make a habit of preying and disheartening our peers when ideas or concepts are unveiled. We watch others live out their fanciful wishes yet feel as if we can not 'play in that arena'. Instead of supporting, we lay and wait for failure so that we can gloat. However, I just want to encourage other innovators, creators and dreamers out there not to be limited by other people's small scopes. Every great innovator had to go against the grain to bring his ideas to the surface. The masses have always historically been inapt to change, and typically reject new concepts. It can be very hurtful, but as a visionary we must push on. One day I was really down about the stifling environment I was dealing with at my then work place and how sometimes I realize the empty stare in people's eyes when they interact with me. A good friend of mine, Lawrence Young II, once broke down the concept of a memorable line from the movie D'Jango. There is a scene in the movie in which D'jango played by Jamie Foxx rides into town on a horse beside his white partner. Everyone in the town was struck completely speechless at the sight of a black man riding a horse. His partner noticed the shock and awe and asked D'jango what everyone was staring at. D'Jango simply replied, "They ain't never seen a nigger on a horse before". When I first watched the movie, the profoundness didn't hit me, but once my friend reiterated it for me... I was greatly taken aback. Simply, there may be times in your life in which you are the first expression of whatever you may represent to the people around you. Perhaps you are the first highly educated person of color in a rural community. Maybe you are the first entrepreneur in your family.. Maybe you have dreams of doing things that no one else around you have ever had... whatever you may be, you are the first one they have ever seen, coming into town, destroying boundaries, riding on a horse. I like to think of myself that way... except not a dirty, un groomed person... yet extremely polished and gorgeous riding in on a beautiful flawless white stallion. Shocking and stealing the breath away of all the doubters.... making it clearly evident that all things are possible. May you be inspired by the opposition.... may you continue your journey to victory...