Saturday, March 30, 2013


Yesterday a brother in Christ came to me, heavy hearted because of the extreme empathy and aggressiveness of the homosexual movement. He lamented that some so called ‘believers’ are condoning this behavior and others are too afraid to speak out. I felt every ounce of his frustration. Day by day you see people in position of power with a huge audience, take the easy approach and jump on the ‘bandwagon’: President Obama, Beyonce, Madonna, and Al Sharpton to name just a few. I, however, will not consent. I will continue to speak out against this abomination and all the damnation that it has brought and will continue to bring to our country. I will not compare it to civil rights…. As gays have yet to be hosed down in the street, suffer access to proper education, or immediately been targeted, based on the color of their skin. Gays continue to function in society without adverse treatment due to their “orientation”. Matter of factly, they are everywhere… and while so many pity them and have empathy for them, I concede. If you indicate that you are born gay, you indicate that our God is not perfect.. that he made an error in your sex. Which true believers know cannot possibly be true and should take great offense too.The truth is that God has designed us, just the way we are supposed to be. You are squandering your purpose by determining your fate on your own, and using your body unnaturally. I do understand that this spirit is strong.. but I encourage you to overcome it with Christ. Nothing is too impossible for him, and he expects for us to prevail against the gates of Hades. I am a heterosexual married woman. I too deal with temptations daily.. to do the wrong thing. I choose otherwise. If I do choose to do something against God (which encompasses all sins, not just homosexuality) that is my choice.. I cannot expect society at large to accept it, make it legal and determine that God is in agreeance. There is no confusion about where God stands on the matter. It is clearly addressed in the Bible (which any Christian should take as foundation) There are several mentions about it in the word. Let’s start with Gen: 19: 1-13. The wicked men of Sodom attempted a homosexual rape of two messengers from God who had come to visit Lot. As a result of this and other widespread wickedness, God destroyed the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah in a storm of fire and brimstone.
The next mentions are in Leviticus:
You shall not lie with a male as with a woman. It is an abomination. (NKJ, Leviticus 18:22)
If a man lies with a male as he lies with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination. They shall surely be put to death. Their blood shall be upon them. (NKJ, Leviticus 20:13)
Now.. If you are a New Testament only believer….. SMH. There are mentions in there as well:
What comes out of you is what defiles you. For from within, out of your hearts, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. All these evils come from inside and defile you. (TNIV, Mark 7:20-23)
And the nail in the coffin…..
Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. (NIV, 1st Corinthians 6:9-11)

So as far as it is concerned… If we as a people do not re-order our steps… (and again this goes out to all sinners: Liars, Cheaters, Murderers, Homosexuals, Hypocrites etc…) We will not inherit the kingdom of heaven…..period. As Christians we have a charge to first get our lives in order.. and then show those around us the correct path to take.

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Insecurities and the Infamous text message

So.. I know many of you can relate to what i'm about to discuss on today. Imagine you have a childhood friend of the opposite sex, you grew up with this person, went to church or school with this person, share a long standing friendship spanning a decade or more. The nature of the friendship is not romantic just caring.. After all from childhood to adulthood, you have experienced it all together. Let's just call my friend, Joey (his name has NOT been changed to protect the innocent). Now imagine your friend has gone awry, lives like a hobo because they don’t believe in the ‘corporate system’. Sometimes this person doesn’t eat, have their cell phone operable or even have heat or electricity in their home. It hurts to see your friend live like this, because you know from where they come from. You know their family and siblings. You know the brightness of their soul, their innate potential to change the world around them, if they were willing to be obedient to God instead of living life on the edge. Now imagine from time to time you check in with this person… genuinely…. because you are concerned about their welfare, sometimes by texts or calls… and bam….. the next day…. You wake up to a text message under your friend’s phone number, obviously not from your friend, but from some prowling person that they have been ‘fraternizing’ with.. to say the least… Well this is exactly what happened to me this morning…

and to say that I was livid is an understatement. I. Went. In…. on her.

"I don't want your man.. cause I got it like that!"

Ask about me......

 Partially.. because I don’t roll like that. I don’t like dealing with unruly romantic interests that are insecure and crazy. Why would you snoop through a man’s phone? Unless you want to find something that is not going to please you… However, In my case.. I am truly a platonic friend of Joey’s. If the woman had any common sense, she could have asked him who I am to him.. instead of attempting to contact me, using his phone…. Ugh. Secondly, that kind of behavior says a lot about you. If you have to snoop, spy and pry to keep abreast your man and his coming and goings, perhaps you should just move on. If your man is dealing with a woman that just won’t quit, then he needs to be the one to address her, not you. That is not how a healthy relationship operates. There must be a level of trust between partners… you shouldn’t have to play pink panther to be with them! I can’t even tell you how many times a side bar chick has called me or texted me, asking about “their” man in some form or fashion….and each time, how I had to tastefully let them have it. But don’t think for a moment think that my buddy is off the hook… I will tastefully let him have it too in a few weeks.. after he has moved on from this page… and is on to the next hot topic. SMH

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Associated Costs… what you must know

"Family Drama" Theme..... resolved in 2 hours? I think not!
      Drunken off media, many of us have a false understanding of how life works and the magnitude of our decision making. I have even suffered from outlandish expectations as well as many of my friends. As we enter the next decade of our lives, many of us find ourselves unfulfilled with no direction. All of the goals that were set before us by our parents or society (Getting married, having children, completing college, starting a business, beginning a career, etc……) we have engaged in and unknowingly brought more challenge upon our lives, whereas we expected these milestones to provide some level of bravado or accomplishment. What our media has failed to convey is that life is a continual process in which you will never arrive, and that preparation for the future is unavoidable. However with Jesus you can achieve some level of balance, less him you will simply continue to chase your tail. You see, perfection on Earth is a concept that will never come to pass…. Perfection will only exist in Heaven. Once you understand that the situations you are experiencing are happening because they were destined too.. you can save yourself boundless amounts of sorrow. Now…. Let us not forget how the imminent weight that our decision making plays in to shaping our world. If you are a mature adult, you can honestly assess your life and see how your decisions or lack of good decisions have brought you where you are. If you chose the path of disobedience (pursuing a bad mate, neglecting career planning, postponing education, not establishing a rainy day fund, disobeying God’s word, or just plain going against the grain…) you will often be frustrated by where you are.. and what you have, and if you are immature, you will envy those around you that have the things that you lack. However obtaining these things is not nearly as hard as disobeying. You cannot simply choose what you want, and expect things to fall into place.. You must seek wisdom and direction from God, and if you rather map out your own plan… Good luck to you. Hell is full of people that chose to do “their own thing” over choosing to do God’s work. If you think that your existence is about self gratification you are a fool. You are purposed by God, and anything you choose to do outside his will, will not get you satisfaction much less his blessing. Is it odd that often times the kids that were nerds in school become successful, meanwhile the social butterflies wilt quickly without the sham of their parents providing? Our media does not promote this idea… and keeps so many lost by the expectation that we can have it all without any area suffering otherwise known as the ‘American Dream’. This idea is FALSE ,FALSE, FALSE, hence why it Is so impossible to obtain. Life ebbs and flows, its natural. Some of us actually have good lives, good marriages and good careers, but are discouraged because our life doesn’t fit the ‘mold’.
Bad guy/good girl.... Fun, but at what cost?
How to snap out of it:
I would seriously encourage you to challenge yourself to put some space between you and the prevalent media influences (T.V, Music and Internet) in your life. I don’t watch much T.V, but I use the computer daily. On average I was using facebook for 2 hours daily, and finding myself extremely frustrated, depressed and unhappy. I decided to cut ties for a while, currently I am on a Facebook hiatus for six months started in January 2013. Almost instantly, I felt better about myself, began to use that two hours for other things, and didn’t feel inadequate due to the comparisons social media subliminally feeds us. If need be, one has to get drastic. Secondly,
I would encourage you to critique and analyze certain themes that you see prevalent. For instance the bad guy/good girl in movies… It always works, right? WRONG. Think about this very story in terms of people you know or even a situation you found yourself in. Lastly, understand that the media is entertainment only. If certain themes are especially bothersome, cut them out entirely. My Pastor (Jeff Haygood of Living Word Church, always says.. “You turn into what you look at. So if you don’t like what you see, change the vision”.

Wealthy man goes for the hood chick? Nope!

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Yolo.... a different perspective

So currently.. our music and generation is inundated
with this phrase (which stands for You Only Live Once), and to a certain degree, I do see the relevance. However, not the prompted ideology. I do certainly agree that we only have “one life to live”, but in lieu of that.. Shouldn’t we be cautious and selective with the things we do instead of partying and wasting it away? Ironically… we say that life is short.. but for many of us, we are blessed and life goes far beyond our 20’s & 30’s. Perhaps we should consider that when we just rather let go. The true leaders of our time, did not just happen to stumble upon position. Many spent time, money and heart on developing themselves. They made strategic plans and actually put their hands to the plow. You are a fool if you want something for nothing( sorry to pop your bubble) There are associated costs to everything. The less you do.. the less you can expect. So if finding a mate is a goal for you, I suggest you use your down time to improve yourself. Get your education/ career track in order. Or if you aspire to start your own business.. do the research and legwork to formulate a plan. Work on your health and fitness. Be proactive. As a lady perhaps you should learn how to cook and clean really well… To prepare for a future mate and children. I would advise you to travel and set goals for yourself that you can do by yourself because once you get in a relationship, you must consider your mate, and you will undoubtedly find yourself compromising more than you can imagine. In my personal case, I wish I had learned more about where my husband came from, recipes, culture and such. Because it could have made the transition a bit more smoother. Now, I’m just learning it real time .  If you wish to be more knowledgeable about spiritual things, it will require additional time in prayer and devotion. To imagine that one day these things will just come into fruition without any instigation is foolish, and you will never experience any level of satisfaction.

Saturday, March 16, 2013

U kno we goin party hard

The Valleydale
So... I'm sure many of you know that I have married a very handsome African man from the country of Cameroon and diving into the wonderful world of their culture & food has been enlightening. With my very own mother being foreign (from the beautiful island Bermuda) I have always been very receptive and intrigued by others from abroad. Over the years I could clearly see the differences from the American youth I was surrounded with everyday, and I was always drawn to the ways of the foreign youth. Many things that I enjoy about my husband are second nature to him because that was how he was raised. Unfortunately & honestly, there are many things I don't enjoy about some American guys I have dated in the past. Some black men feel on a pedestal if they are actually doing the functions of an educated, adult young person, and that you are fortunate to have them. Others just have way too much baggage. Either they have children from previous relationships or bad habits: Smoking, drinking, lack of motivation, and or lack of independence.Unlike many women I know though, I was not afraid to step out the box in regards to my love life. Too many women are loyal to men that refuse to entertain their expectations for the course of the relationship. Prior to marrying, I dated Spanish, White and Islander. I online-dated. I kept an open mind that love could possible come in a different package. Had I had tunnel vision, I would have overlooked my husband because he was 'different' than the normal. You see, the area of commitment & family is not a struggle for foreign people because it is a concept in which they have been exposed to all their lives. My husband's community is very connected. Whereas, unfortunately in our country, many have not had the benefits of seeing that vision, so they then lack the expectation of producing it for themselves. Progression is not a fear for many of them that have decided to move to the U.S. and they are very ambitious. My husband's friends are doctor's, engineers, bankers and pharmacists. They are handsome, tall with good genes and gorgeous teeth. They work hard and will provide without prodding, and I can't speak for every home, but my husband is a very calm person. He has never raised his voice or hand to me... even in taxing situations. As hard as they work, they party.. at the appropriate time, and I give you all this information as to share how much I truly enjoy going to African parties and events with my husband and our friends. A few weeks ago, we attended a huge party to commemorate Ghana's independence day (March 6th) at the beautiful Valleydale party hall.

Some sweet differences from and African party versus an Black party:

Every body will be dressed up...nobody wants to be that scrub -_- 

My husband, cousins and friend
Mr. & Mrs Effoe
Fresh too death


Both guys and girls will dance the night wall flowers

Get it, get it!!!!

It's going down

No Violence and great music the whole night through!

In closing:
Ladies, I would seriously encourage you to be more open minded about dating. If you are unhappy and under appreciated where you are and who you are with.. it is time to move on. Some men will treat you as the valuable person that you are. With previous guys, they didn't want to take me anywhere... spend and money or give me a title. Now I hit the jackpot! My husband proudly takes me with him, we go to movies out to eat.. He even will come with me sometimes to hang out with my parents. Not to say that every relationship wont have its troubles, because we certainly had to get over some cultural differences, however, the time I spend investing in my marriage to make it better is outweighed by the benefits of having this man in my life and in our future. I thank God for bringing him across seas to find me. Together, we will become more.

 Above is a hot party track from the Ghanian community, check it out!!!




Your Problem; Not mine

This morning I chuckled to myself as I ventured to the cafeteria in the large corporate building in which I work. As I strolled down the hallways, I noticed how my eye contact and warm smile was received or not received, and I thought to myself what an easy indicator of emotional problems this behavior shows. Naturally, the black gentlemen of all ages met my smile with a smile except for Mr. Identity crisis, otherwise known as the Kobe Bryant's;Tiger Woods of the world. Lmbo. The white men (except those that socialize with black people) avoided eye contact and did not acknowledge me whatsoever. Unfortunately, I thought because unbeknownst to so many lonely white men, a lot of us black women find them very attractive, and have many things in common. The white women would do a bit of all three. There were some that would return my smile with a smile, some that would scowl or look at me with confusion as to why I was smiling at them (usually older), and just a few that would completely ignore me (your conservative upper crust types). Now, certainly not least, but perhaps the most complex, were the black women. The older black women would smile back at me, and often speak. Then you had the obvious ghetto divas that had attitude to boot, looking me up and down, and then looking on without making eye contact or smiling. Then there were the confident, nice girls like myself that were comfortable exchanging my warmth. I surmised that the phenomenon I experienced had everything to do with them…. Not me. I gave the same demeanor across the board, but it was interesting how it was received. Some of this relates to home training. I was raised to acknowledge others presence, and that It was rude to ignore people. I was also made to understand the eyes are the window to the soul, hence why some hide their eyes from others, to prevent the true expression of their soul. Lastly, your reception of others reflects how you look at yourself. Some wondered why I would smile and what was ‘wrong’ with me; that it was too early to be energized. Some wished that I wasn’t there and chose to ignore me completely, and unfortunately in the minority, some understood that I was happy and blessed to have another day. That despite any troubles that I have… I am so fortunate and that I wish to speak that not only with words, but in body language, consistently, everyday.
Why I’m bringing this to life:
Because I think that some people don’t realize they easily share so much information about themselves by the way they interact others. I challenge those of you that fit in the various categories to be objective about your body language, and the way you receive others. After all, we all have problems, but if you are unhappy about your life… remember, it that is your problem and not mine. You shouldn’t be so crystal clear…. Add some mystery by being consistently cool.

Thursday, March 14, 2013


Hello World Wide Web,
My name is Jeena and after having many many random internet searches with no returns... I decided to create a blog.... Im located in the midwest and in the midst of a generation that craves a leader.. With so much to say.... why not find a bigger audience. This Blog will be a journey through my life & mind as an young educated Black woman who believes in the truth, However your feedback is crucial too.... I hope you find interesting perspectives here, and that you enjoy...