Model Madness

You Have Got To Choose YOUR Life

If there is one thing I'm seeing prevalent in our world today, it is the amount of followers out there. Doing things and living lives that are not genuine or true to that person's actual character. I see people suffering in dead relationships, and unhappy jobs because they rather not deal with the fear of the unknown..Otherwise known as the possibility of success.I believe the only difference between those that lead lives they enjoy and those that don't, is that those that do were not afraid to go for it, take risks, follow their passions, silence the naysayers, and never lose hope. The vast majority just settles for whatever path they have fallen on, whether or not they are happy. You have to make the decision to choose your life, and find what makes you happy. If you make that choice and stick with your plan, you are far more likely to reach the sort of results you want. You don't have to follow the crowd especially if they are stupid and what they are doing doesn't make any sense to you. Trust me, I know being independent is not easy. Sometimes it is lonely...but what gives me solace at night, is knowing I stayed true to myself and those close to me. Don't sell out... Always #StayBlkAndTrue.

My First Motivational Video! Check It Out!!!

Why Real Freedom Has Boundaries

Sometimes when I look around at my peers I am so very disgusted and saddened. It is as if they don't realize this very truth, that although you have the liberty to do some things... a life with boundaries is best lived. Logically when you think about overextending yourself, you realize that the more avenues you take.. the less strong you are. You have weak points that can be penetrated, you are unable to do any one thing exceptionally because your resources are spread thin... However when it comes to lifestyle, every day living.. we find it ok to do so much of everything. I must encourage you to draw personal boundaries for yourself because if will promote long life and fulfillment. Be weary of the masses and their trends. Like a wilderbeast sometimes they run in heards simply because everyone is headed in that direction. In modern times such simple things like believing in God, being conservative, being bold, not tattooed etc makes you an outlier because everyone else is busy doing it... and sometimes if you even ask them why, they have no response. I live within my boundaries. .I don't have a wild life although I could if I wanted. The moral of the story is... although such freedoms are there you don't have to partake if you don't want too. Partaking in certain things will become more of a hindrance than anything else to your life. It is wise to see trouble and avoid it. If I have heard stories of people getting strung out on drugs and alcohol.. I don't have to do it myself to learn... We can draw off others experiences.

You Will Never Be Equal; Nature Has Already Determined That

The fact of the matter is no one ever really wants to be equal, unless they are on the bottom layer and want to be accepted and recognized as equal to those that have more and are more. As far as gay rights go.. you may have laws to protect your vile lusts, but you will never be equal. All you have to do is look at nature to determine this. Sam sex couples have to manipulate to survive because nature does not provide them the natural ability to do so. I don't hate gays.... at the end of the day, do what you want, reap what you sow... its all on you, just as the choices I make in my life will impact me the way they will. However, you do not have the liberty to make me accept it. I am disgusted at how you attempt to force those that don't approve to accept it. I will never accept it and you can not make me. You cant make me stop my message, and even by chance if you took my life, I am still free. I will reiterate....no one wants to be equal except the bottom layer.. You don't hear millionaires barking about 'equality'.. smh

The Movie Has Been Released... Watch And Let Me Know What You Think!!!!



Cast & Crew....





#AJ. StoryTheMovie

Why Black People Don't Love Themselves

By nature Im an observant person.. I study my fellow people of color.. constantly trying to relate and identify with them.. but one thing that I continue to run into universally.. is the lack of love black people have for themselves. Every aspect of them from their complexion, shape, and grade of hair seemingly present a challenge.On one hand, some mask their voices to sound more like a white person... They wear certain brands of clothing more popular amongst them.. tend to drink more and party in less diverse areas.. Seemingly they seem to aspire to the idea that assimilating will make them more acceptable, and perhaps less black and threatening. Then on the other end of the spectrum, you have the blacks that lack all self esteem... these are the ones likely to have lots of tattoos and participate in risky behavior. I believe they have more deep seeded emotional issues that causes them to act in a reckless manner... its really just a cry for attention, although gone about in the wrong way. You also have your naturalistas... which claim to be so confident, but I feel secretly deal with low self esteem. They feel that modern styles are 'oppressive' and they wish to be 'natural'. Often these are the perpetually single and extremely fanciful women. They have unrealistic expectations of a mate and since they have not had any successful relationships to compare and contrast against, they are often lofty and far removed from reality. I have always wondered where the voids come from because I never saw myself that way. I always just resolved that other people must have had issues. Clearly black people are creative, beautiful, versatile, smart and unique. I never saw why they wished to be more like people that lacked all of what we have been given naturally. In my opinion, it is the 'diversity' of America that highly contributes to this phenomenon. I look at my other world-wide colored peers.. that do not also have this lack. Most popularily the African. Depending on what African nation they come from, they may be very thick, dark or otherwise what we here in the west would consider 'unnatractive', yet Africans are able to come to a new country,begin their life again, and do it with grace. Why is this? I examined them closer. Many Africans have the beauty of living in homogenous communities, in which they are able to be surrounded by other people of color. This cuts down on the pressure and need to emulate someone else. Now don't get me wrong, I know many Africans wish to migrate, but I believe that is due mostly to the economic and political issues that are ravaging African nations. I do not believe it is because they hate being amongst their own people. Some Africans that i have had the pleasure of making aquaintances with here in the states are the most ambitious and confident people I know. I attribute it to them being able to trace their roots and understanding their lineage.

So Im making a movie.. and this is the official trailer

Over the years, I have been told I should write a book and/or make a movie..thanks to technology making it easier than ever, I have created a life story movie of my recent life called A J.Story. Now, my official trailer is on my YouTube channel which is also where I will release the full movie on my upcoming birthday 6/26/2015. Please check out my trailer, share it and subscribe to my channel. #StayBlkandTrue

Time Changes But People Dont

So Im making a movie.....To be released Exclusively on YouTube

And it's great, interesting and creative.. Im so excited. Make sure to subscribe to my channel so you won't miss a thing. If you have enjoyed my previous projects/videos.. you will love my first movie:-)

What do I think about Transgender's.... (Bruce Jenner Edition)

With all this Bruce Jenner (Kim Kardashian's step father, former Olympic athlete etc) transgender talk.. I SEE what the media has to say.. I see how even some members of his family think and feel, yet I want to express how I feel and think on the subject. I feel deeply that these people that 'look at them self in the mirror and see someone else' are terribly troubled, and need to curtail their lofty distorted view of themselves. The fact of the matter is that it is very clear what gender you were born. Even if on the off chance you may have been born with different body parts (which alot of transgender people are not) it is still clear to see who you are. If you are born a man.. you are a man no matter how much you want to be a woman. Likewise for a woman. The current climate of sex changes and scientific manipulation is all cosmetic. Because by nature your body will perform its designed purpose whether you like it or not. I know that the world promotes you to go along with the confused feelings you are having, but I encourage you to be honest with yourself and hone in on the issues that are making you have these wild thoughts. In the case of Bruce Jenner.. I think that it is pitiful no one is having a real conversation with him. All those around him claim to be 'in support' of this radical foolishness. I as one would never support my parent in doing such things. I would never condone it. its not o.k. and the ramifications will run deeply into his family and those associated to him. I think that in reality there are many more people that do not support this sort of behavior but are afraid to speak out against it for fear of backlash. I think that running away from your issues whatever they may be will hurt you in the long run. You cannot escape being a man or a woman by covering it up.... you will always be what you were born to be. I can sometimes relate to having thoughts a man would have, or wanting to do life the way they do because the world is much more liberal and accommodating to men. They get power and jurisdiction that a woman can never have, however over the years I have learned that i am a woman.. and this is just how it has to be. God never made a mistake when he decided to make me a woman.. obviously I serve my own specific purpose. It is dangerous for us to take matters into our own hands and begin to manipulate science so that we can do our own agenda. I also find it disturbing that we are not calling transgenderism what it actually is, which is a form of mental illness... I urge any struggling with these sensations to seek professional help, and I pray that whomever you seek will speak truth into your life, and help you onto the path of recovery. 

Bridging the Gap (African American & African Relations)

I learned very early in the game that I was not white... although smart and vibrant amongst my mostly white class at the private school I attended for most of my childhood life. Inasmuch as I tried to fit in with them, I never did. The next most natural response that i could come up with was assimilating with black people. Seemed quite logical that if I didn't belong with those that I had been raised with, I belonged elsewhere. However due to my complexion, and the way I spoke I wasn't always well received by my black American peers either, coupled with the fact that I had already cultivated fine tastes in which some of my peers could not relate.. I found my self caught between a tug of war. Some people are not ok with their blackness. They spend their whole life wishing to be something else. I never saw my blackness as a weakness, yet as a strength. I have also gravitated towards foreigners because I felt that they could relate to the type of lifestyle I am looking to cultivate. Pursuing foreigners has brought a host of other unforeseen issues, as I had to learn that cultural differences do indeed exist even between people of color. One huge conflict that rips me apart is that between Native Africans (born and raised in Africa) and Black Americans (born and raised in the United States). It the ridiculous stereotypes that Americans have against Africans.. coupled by the perceived 'arrogant' attitudes of the Africans. Being a product of a mixed and blended family, I found some aspects of it as a magnet for hate, envy and confusion. I gradually decided I would put the blackness back in my future by reconnecting with Africans. To date I have made great strides, and I am certain I'll leave behind a legacy my children will love. One that helps them embrace not only their own blackness, but that of others. My deep love for people of color shocks everyone , but most of all other people of color. Fortunately through social media I have been connecting with people worldwide, and it saddens me that so many of them are anxious to move to the U.S, although (from my travels I am actually permitted to compare and contrast) some of their quality of life is better in their home country. The whole purpose of writing this blog and by having my YouTube channel is dispelling some stereotypes and speaking the truth. I desire to know Africans better, I desire for them to teach me about my blackness in its purest form.I want to be more resourceful. I honestly believe so much is to be gained if we bridge this gap.. Will you help me?

Burn Baby Burn.... Riots Say What Words Can't Convey

As a black woman in America.. as someone whose children will also be black.. I fear for my safety and theirs. I understand that no amount of money or education keeps me safe.. that is draws no barriers from me and the misfits of society that also share my color. I understand its time, chance and God that protects me only. I could be the next instance of police brutality... whether I'm in the wrong or not simply because of my color. Simply because of stereotypes. Throughout my lifetime.. I have watched several black people (guilty and innocent, unarmed or armed) die as a result of confrontation with police. Ive watched the situation unfold on T.V. Although I don't know the families personally.. I have shared in their sorrow because I have placed myself in their shoes. I have imagined the very same impact on my own life... and I have imagined the helplessness they must feel. I have watched officers and the like go unpunished, unfined, and acquitted from their crimes.. I absolutely understand the language of a riot. The law has the burden of being an unbiased representation for the general public. It is meant to make us safe.. and we are supposed to trust those in that authority. When those can no longer be trusted.. the people begin to speak in whichever manner they choose too. Is it fair to the causalities? To those bystanders that wish for more peaceful resolutions? Indeed it is not... However a riot is the fruit of bad circumstances... usually the result of an issue gone unresolved too long. I understand.. the frustration. I understand the need to be acknowledged.. I understand that waiting for someone to advocate on your behalf has yet to happen.. yet to yield anything. I understand wanting to inflict the pain you feel on the world.. to make someone pay.. to make someone see you. If there were one thing I' d add to the riots... I'd add burning state buildings.. I'd add burning the communities of those that continue to misuse their positions.. those that choose to ignore... I'd reduce them down to that they may see eye to eye with the despair they contribute too.....

Tragic Murders

I dont know if it is because I am a softy or because I overthink things, but whenever I hear about a tragic death (usually by a gun) It just melts my heart. I then begin to assess why Im still living.. after the wrongs I have done, Why do I still continue to get day after day??? As you know through my blog, I've met hundreds of people. One of my penpals from Ghana (west Africa) informed me one of his office colleagues was violently killed yesterday in his home. The gentleman was just that, gentle. Recently married (in Decemeber) he and his wife were expecting their first child, as she is currently 8 months pregnant. The murder took everyone that knows him by surprise. Even I had seen him on facebook posts.. He had a bright smile that just emulated life. Although, I never met him, I mourn alongside his family at this tremendously sad loss. I often think of the ramifications that murder and random violence leaves on a community. In his case... he has a child that he will never even get to see. His blushing, happy bride has now become a widow.. what seemed like a hopeful future, has all been shattered. Its really sad :-( Why do we not love or cherish each other? Why do we aimlessly take life?

The Deceased Francis Anderson and his wife on their wedding day

"A Little Leaven"........ America's much needed gun reform

After another disturbing case of unsolicited murder by gun that took my place in my city yesterday.. I must officially speak up. A young black wife, mother and entrepreneur was gunned down in the street yesterday by her estranged husband. Also caught up in the crossfire was the victims younger brother. He was also killed point blank range by the husband. This woman was not a gang banger... She was not a drug pusher, stripper or any other sort of shady individual that one would associate with being close to danger. Her husband however.. looked like the typical black American male these days.. Neck tattoo, long dreds. He had the look of a street guy. Only one who knew him intimately knows the details, but based on the actions he took.. I can only surmise his lifestyle was not too removed from the streets. However, both spouses were college educated, and the wife had started a business that was growing. She even employed her husband and younger brother in the chain of 24-hr daycare centers. She was arriving to work when he came an gunned her down in the street. I'm sure she never imagined this fate... I'm sure if I asked her a month ago how she felt about gun reform she may have sided with the more popular mindset of gun freedom in this country, never realizing how it was going to destroy and abruptly end her life. I firmly believe that accessibility is the most pressing issue at hand. It is the very fact that any and everyone can easily get a gun. Janea Harvison was a working girl. She was college educated. She was a wife and mother. She was a entrepreneur. She was not in the middle of a risky life that could remotely indicate her tragic ending.. but the point I want to illustrate goes hand in hand with what the bible warns against. It says

Galatians 5:9 - A little leaven leavens the whole lump., which means a little bit can ruin everything. Gun accessibility is ruining a potential quality life of the American. It is allowing unstable people to have access to do exactly what they are doing. I unequivocally believe the American government has the power to outlaw guns in this country, but I know they consciously choose not too address the problem. The issue is not more laws. we have plenty of laws.The issue is placing deadly weapons in the hands of stupid and senseless people.

Let Me Vent Series: America Is Not A Fantasy Place Where All Dreams Come True (E No Easy)

I may be one of the few people to be honest with you and tell you this country is not filled with money covered trees and the streets are not littered with beautiful, willing and accepting people.. In reality there are many hardships that people of color deal with in this country. Recently I was accused of coming from a silver spoon, that I don't know nor can I relate to the foreigner's struggle. First and foremost, my mother is a foreigner.. so I know very well a firsthand perspective. Secondly, I am traveled and versed in foreign issues enough to speak my piece. Certainly there are benefits to being in this country such a women's rights (being able to become educated and pursue a career to support oneself),independence and also the freedom of speech (In which I can graciously share the truth with the world without fear or contradiction), but many aspects of coming to this country often go unknown until people migrate here, and then and only then are they faced with the truth. The images shown around the world of this country and the perpetuation of all the 'opportunites' that are available here are greatly inflated. It saddens me because often times people leave their home (in which they may even be doing well) to set off for western countries only to live a lesser standard once they arrive. Had they had proper information they may have been able to make the most sensible choice. Trust me, I am gaining nothing by telling you the truth, but i am trying to be a resource for someone; somewhere. I can't speak for everyone, but I hate being deceived and only told the pleasantries upfront, and only learning of the drawbacks either when it is too late of I'm already in the midst. I'm mature enough to understand every action has two sides of the story. Of course everyone can endure the lovely things.. but the question is can you endure the rain?

The Spritual Battleground For The Influential

As a child I was fascinated with Michael Jackson, but often wondered what fueled the dysfunction of his own personal life. I never quite understood on one hand he could dominate in the entertainment world but do so poorly in his private life. His fame and talent was marred by accusations, divorces and family drama. As I have gotten older I have come to realize that for the influential person... the battleground is very real. Both spiritual forces (God and the devil) want to use the influence for their benefit.. and it becomes alot of pressure for the person in between. I have witnessed some people with less shine live very calm and regular lives. These same individuals go unnoticed in day to day activities, rarely have conflicts, and seldom endure crisis or hardships. Personally I always wanted to live that way, but have consistently been caught in the major battleground. Often the most talented and gifted people are the most afflicted. Hollywood is full of examples of them.... incredible actors.. incredible artists and musicians ;deeply troubled. The reason has to do with your influence of course because it can either be used to sway people for good or evil. For those of us with the 'gift' it is responsible of us to settle our demons. if not, they can be used to discount and discredit our message. A great example of this was Whitney Houston. I used to hold her in the highest esteem because absolutely no one can/could sing like her. She had beauty, talent and fame.. but due to the fact that she never settled her issues with drugs and addiction it drove her and her phenomenal talent into the ground. It always serves as a personal reminder for me that If I ever fail to order my steps... it could be a critical error in judgement that could hold heavy and in some cases even irreprehensible consequences.

Me at the University of Cambridge, U.K

Absolutely Scenic!

The Truth about Gay Parenting from a Person Raised In the Environment

I was moved and made quite proud when Heather Berwick published an essay outlining the longterm effects of gay parenting. I applaud her for being honest and courageous enough to speak on a subject matter that I have been barking about. It is TRUE that gay parenting has effects, and we ought to be real and talk about it...... a same sex mate can not fulfill the void of the child's original parent. In the essay she talks about her first hand account being raised by two lesbians. She talks about the void of her father not being around, and although she loved her 'two moms' how it never quite measured up. Kudos Heather!

Let Me Vent Series: Why Do You Do The Things You Do? Why Are You So Trendy?

Have you ever even thought about it or asked yourself the question? I see it as a saddening epidemic taking over our black people worldwide... such a self hatred that leaves us scrambling to emulate and assimilate to fit in to someone else's mold. It Makes no sense to me because we as black people have so many natural blessings afforded to us and we are so creative. It doesn't make sense that we would want to be someone else, unless we have made to believe being ourselves it not enough. People want to know why I stand out, and why I'm different.. well I am different simply because I choose to be a black woman. I choose to like what I like and not acquiesce to what others are doing simply to fit in. I'm different because I ask why, and because I have morals. I'm not afraid to separate myself, and thank God that he has graced me to do so. At this point I see myself as a bridge between native Africans and African Americans;hoping to encourage each of us to see each other in a new light, building motivation and momentum to become better and stronger in the future. Why should we tattoo our skin or bleach it... Why should we have to leave our homes to find where we belong.. Why not belong where we are and impact the world around us.. Why not let our creativity pave a way to the future that we may eat from it, and strengthen communities? Why not celebrate our God instead of hiding him? Im different because I choose to be me, and I encourage you to be you. Ask yourself why those around you copy us in every form and fashion.. why they steal our lyrics, lingo and style. Its not by chance.. it is deliberate because we are strong. We are beautiful. We are capable. This is the reasons other people want our natural attributes because they are gorgeous. Im thankful to my parents for always showing me that black was beautiful.. I have never hated my skin.. I have always seen the potential of my people... and I encourage you too as well... #StayBlkAndTrue

Let Me Vent Series: Are you gay or are you confused?

Everyday it seems that some new celebrity is coming out as gay... its seems too common and trivial.. and I'm just wondering are you really gay, using it as a publicity stunt or are you simply confused? Could it be a fad or unresolved emotional issues that causes you to identify yourself as gay... For the remainder of us.. do you not see the ramifications of homosexuality taking over our culture? Or is it just me. Are we not all products of our home environments and schooling.. does any other straight individual fear what the exposure of this epidemic will do to the youth? Most of us are like carbon copies of our parents. Either their example or lack thereof shaped our world. Such the same can be said of homosexual couples raising children. I don't even know why gays are permitted to adopt. If they want to marry.. so be it, but take the good with the bad, just as a heterosexual couple has too. Lets face it homosexuals were never designed to have children.. even animals are smart enough to recognize such truths... How is it that you choose to deviate the marriage model,nature and then go an adopt or inseminate??? If you want to be gay so bad, enjoy your lover to the grave and let it be that.I'm not afraid to speak these things.. let them ascend on me as they always do. Ive never seen such bullies as the LGBT community....Sometimes I feel like the pressure to conform is so strong that anyone that does not fit the mold sees themselves as weird or as an outcast... and in many cases these connotations go with being perceived as 'gay'. Our Bible not only tells us that such behavior is a sin (along with all the other sins :murder, adultery,lying, stealing etc) but also encourages us to cast down imaginations [ wild ideas and desires] which does indeed indicate that at times we will have very crazy thoughts.. but it is not for us to take those ideas and make them the standard. It is for us to overcome questionable areas in our lives. I'm not coming down any harder on the homosexuals than I come down on myself..We can not simply justify our weaknesses and beg others to also tolerate it. Sometimes I want to smack random stupid people.. but I restrain myself. Sometimes I want to steal, lie and etc, but I refrain... I think every human has experienced moments of extreme emotion, but I want to encourage you not to let it dominate your life. I also think sometimes trauma in the home environment exposes people to homosexuality. Some women feel the need to be strong in their household for a struggling mother; which they associate with emulating a man. Some girls that don't have fathers also look towards these masculine lesbians to fill that void. The fact of the matter is that if you don't corral your sin habits whatever they may be they will cost you eternity. Nothing here could possibly be worth it....just consider that.

The Difference between The Banker and the Bank Robber

The title is figurative of course...but it something one must really consider.When you contemplate the Banker and the Bank Robber several things will come to mind. Some of my first thoughts are Banker: professional, employed,sensible, responsible.... when I think of the Bank Robber: Bad, Thief, Criminal, Consequences, Matter of Time, Not Enough Money To Last, Death..... When we think literally about the two we can surmise that both are affiliated with the bank.. both have access to bank's wealth, but one is legitimate and the other is stolen. This very same concept can be applied to many other relationship models, but I will compare it to the difference between a wife and a side chick. As the wife, expectations on your husband are legitimate, but as the side chick you can not rightfully make any because your relationship with someone else's husband is a stolen one. On one token both of you have access to the same man, but one gets more preferential treatment than the other... Often times people will settle for a portion of a situation, instead of taking strategic steps to have more legitimate, long lasting results. In the case of the Bank Robber he may experience a one time windfall, but it certainly cant rival the Bankers consistent job. The bank robber has to live cautiously if he does manage to get away... He will sleep with one eye open and always be apprehensive. On the contrary, the banker gets to have peace as he provides for his family. One is legitimate and one is stolen.... Legitimate will always have a longer lifespan.

Let Me Vent Series: The Plight Of The Educated Black Woman

Talk about not having anywhere to belong or fit in. You don't fit in with the whites, but some of the blacks envy and despise you... and because of what? The fact that your family raised you a certain way, that you speak a certain way, you went to certain schools or you don't choose to engage in certain lifestyles??? Talk about frustrated. The whites pick and prod at you like you are an animal.. trying to see you tick. They try to emulate you whilst tearing you down. The blacks stay busy trying to discount you.. trying to minimize any progress that you make. smh. These are some of the reasons I seriously consider moving out of the country because due to the diversity of this country it creates other types of dissension between groups that i otherwise believe would be less prevalent if I were somewhere else more progressive, open minded and educated.

Avoid Fear By Creating a Firsthand Experience

Today I was thinking about my recent trips to London and Barcelona. I was thinking about all the preconceived notions that both I and some of my friends had about both locations, and how I totally dispelled them by seeing it for myself. For instance, none of my closest friends had been to either place yet in regards to the U.K some worried about what the food would taste like, and how blacks were treated. Ironically, I felt better received in the U.K than I have ever felt in the states, and I experienced both English dynamics of the major metro (London) and also the beautiful countryside (Northampton). The U.k was cleaner, food better quality (I lost ten pounds whilst there for two weeks in the fall), better quality programming etc... Although I was a stranger I felt safe (as guns are outlawed there as well as most of the world). The roads were well maintained, subway trains kept immaculate and the neighborhoods quiet. My mystery was satisfied, and I'm deeply in love with the U.K as it stands. Contrarily, The popular conception of Barcelona was that it would be exotic and full of beautiful characters to mix and mingle with. One could expect Latin warmness and hospitality, yet none of these things could be further from the Barcelona I experienced.
                              
Barcelona was filthy, outdated and not receptive at all. I would never likely visit again. The locals were a far cry from the sexy Latins I expected.. instead they reminded me of Picasso.. Skinny, light and slim. They avoided eye contact (even other people of color) which suggested uncomfortable race relations in the region. So in essence, I debunked all the preconceived ideas that both my friends and I had determined about both locations. People can have opinions all they want about things they have never had a first hand account of, but I rather see the world through my own eyes.

Let Me Vent Series: The Burden of Leaders

Do you know how it feels to live a life that is not your own? When you have to sacrifice your desires for others... when you are promoted and you don't want to be? Well that's what I want to vent about. I want to vent about people craving power when they were never designed to lead, and people made to lead that don't desire to do it. It has been my experience that God has some sort of big purpose for me. For years even complete strangers would advise me on the way I should go, but its not my personal vision for my life. Sometimes I feel like it is the reason I experience so much friction. As of late, I have decided to share my mind with the world, and It takes alot to break out of my comfort zone, However I take great relief knowing that God will never lead me somewhere that he wont sustain me. This message goes out to other leaders that are trying to avoid their rightful place as a messenger of the Lord and of truth. We cannot be afraid to fulfill the purpose God has placed on our lives. The gifts and talent we have been blessed with can make a huge impact to those surrounding us...

Let Me Vent Series: You want Glamour , Yet you Lack Elegance

It never ceases to amaze me that people always want something , but refuse to demonstrate the very same high quality it is that they crave. Sometimes I hear celebrities talk about how they miss old Hollywood and all of its glam.. however they are quick to be un-glamorous in all forms and fashion. After seeing some of the pictures of the Grammy award show, I was just personally disgusted and disappointed at the current roster of celebrities. Even husbands (like Kayne West and Jay Z) don't mind their wives showing all their bodies to the world. I guess I am just old fashioned because I still think that should be reserved for your spouse, and In their cases they have all the money to afford and customize beautiful appropriate clothing. There is certainly a way to be sexy but sophisticated. They lack class and etiquette. They lack mystique and allure. If you wish to be a lady in this day and age.. we must admit that we all luxuries provided to us. If you don't know how to wear clothing (undergarments too) , have proper hygiene, do makeup or hair we have the convenience of additional information at our fingertips. If I was a star I would be dressed immaculately. No need to show all my assets. There are modest ways to behave and yet exude sexiness. Even my peers long for more sophisticated mates an such although never learning how to become more themselves.

Much Luv Series: Go Eddie Murphy!!!!

I ran across an article this morning that talked about how Eddie Murphy was asked to do one of his well known impersonations of Bill Cosby for Saturday Night Live 40 years anniversary, but refused, respectfully. As some of you may know Bill Cosby is under fire for allegedly assulting and raping dozens of women (which we here at www.blkandtrue.blogspot.com do not believe nore support the absurdity). Eddie Murphy said "He wouldnt kick a man while he is down". I just felt a kudos for his compassion was needed. It is an missing element in today's society. We dont mind to have a laugh at others expense or stand by idly while we see someone going through tragedy. Ive always been an Eddie Murphy and Bill Cosby fan.. but his professionalsm in this light made me warm and fuzzy on the inside! GO EDDIE MURPHY!!!

Let Me Vent Series: Why Does Everybody Think Gay is Cool.. ITS NOT!!!!(E.J Johnson Edition)

When I first ran across E.J. Johnson (Magic Johnson's huge gay son) I was appaled at everything about him.. but I guess what was even more frustrating is how everyone thinks this is cool and they hail him as a "fashion icon". In reality we are talking about a huge black man walking around in capes, leggings and purses. Am I the only one who can see how ridiculous he looks???? It is disgusting at how our culture blurs gender roles.. Guess what.. all the earrings, purses and leggings in the world will NEVER make you a woman.. Even if you do a sex change operation you are STILL the gender you were born as. All your money and efforts can be classified as cosmetic. You dont get to determine what you want to be in that respect.. God has already determined that for you.. What we ought to focus upon is sorting through our emotional issues so that we may release these spirits off our children... I partially blame Magic for his hidden sins. Its quite ironic to me that he contracted HIV mysteriously and then was rumored to participate in homosexual sex and now his son (also named after him) who ought to be chasing basketballs and pursuing his dad's athletic legacy... like something like Michael Jordan's sons did, is the hugest fag around..... talk about embarrassing. And of course Magic has to be tolerant.. although I know deep inside of him has to be some shame that his son has manifested in this way. I know I would be embarrassed. smh. Actually I AM embarrassed for him!!!

Get Back In The Game

Let Me Vent Series: The Seeds We Sow (Bobbi Kristina Edition)

In lieu of the recent tragedy of Bobbi Kristina.. it caused  me to think of some of the consequences from the seeds that we sow. In the case of Bobby Brown he watched alongside the entire country the consequences of his wreck less lifestyle. He watched his wife waste away and destroy her career. Whitney never rebounded from the blow that Bobby's influence had in her life, and as of late neither did his own daughter. Its as if to say that two lives were completely wasted because of Bobby's inability to get his family on track. I have always believed that your children are a direct manifestation of how you live your life in the privacy of your home... In essence a filthy rich 21 year old girl who had everything ahead of her could see no value in life after her mother passed away. I can think of nothing more terrible than losing my family in the form and fashion that Bobby has. I believe that sometimes we make selfish choices in regards to tolerating certain things not realizing that it will also be inflicted in our children. Whitney loved Bobby so much that she exposed her child to a wild and reckless lifestyle. Whitney was not strong enough for that lifestyle.. the cost was great for her although Bobby has gone on to marry and start a new family. Just remember often times the costs we 'think' we are willing to pay is no match for the actual cost we WILL actually pay in the end. The ending to this family is tragic,sad and yet was totally preventable. It is also an epic example for the believer that evil can overtake your life and YOU will be the one to suffer and pay higher costs than the others that also participate in even the same deed. 

Let Me Vent Series: People That Break Promises/Commitments

If you felt a twinge or a sting reading the title because you know it applies to you... I'm not going to apologize because I cant stand people that do it. I cant stand it when you do it to children.. I cant stand it when you do it to your friends... and I have no respect when you do it to your spouse or your parents. If you have no intention of following through with your words, don't speak it.. It does nothing but hurt and disappoint the people that love and trust you. The truth is.. we want to believe in you. We want you to measure up to the things that you say you will do. Being trustworthy is not that difficult. Its not something that is impossible. And if you happen to realize that you have been faulty in this area, you can improve. Take it one day at a time, and start with the small stuff: returning text messages/ emails. Trying to come to work on time. Doing activities consistently like going to the gym or attending worship services. Let your quest to be more reliable start with you. I guarantee it is a change that you wont regret.

Let Me Vent Series: Making Excuses for Bad Behavior (In The Black Community)

I see alot of issues in the black community, but i can not stand when people make excuses for bad behavior... that includes, bad parenting, bad financial habits, violence and loads of other issues. I don't want to beat a dead horse, but I cant make excuses for it either. I refuse to make excuses for our behavior, when it comes to not improving conditions. We can improve anything if we ignore it, hide it or excuse it. I believe that if we learn to be more honest with each other we can make more progress and improvements, but perpetuating that certain things are acceptable when they aren't will only be harmful to us overall.

Why I Do This

Let Me Vent Series: I'm Still OldSchool... respect it...

Just because you want to put tattoos all over your face doesnt mean I want too. Just because you want to grow long, dirty,stinky dreds doesnt mean I like them. I still like a guy to flirt innocently with me. I still like roses and smooth romantic music. I believe in God and am not afraid to show it. I still believe in working out to get a better body.. not running to the plastic surgeon. I still want to travel to new places and see the word. I still believe in love and good people.. I know they are out there. I still believe life can get better. So just cause your gone on drugs dont try to put on a damper on my dreams. My God told me I could have it, and I believe him over anything you can tell me!!!!

Let me Vent Series: I hate how society pits African Americans V.S Africans!!!!

Thankfully my blog and YouTube channel have brought me in contact with many people that I would not have otherwise met, but one thing that is annoyingly popular is the assumptions of African Americans from native Africans. Although I continue to verse myself in west African affairs,music and culture, it is always the presumption that I am ignorant to such things. It is so hurtful to me simply because as an American I feel like i have no culture, and even if I look to reconnect to places my lineage brings me, I am so disconnected. :-(The truth is that not all black Americans are the same. Some of us have a bigger scope. We have a desire to learn and understand. I am cut from that cloth. We are not ashamed of our blackness, but we embrace it. I love African people and am very inspired by their ambition. I think that most of the discord between the two comes from ignorance and stereotypes, but we will not be able to repair anything until we set pride aside and embrace each (lofty wish, yes I know)

Let me Vent Series: Working In A Call Centre

I hate that I have learned how to rephrase things in five hundred ways because people wont listen. I hate that I have to solve umpteen problems in a day for others and go home to my own more complex problems that others can not solve. I hate that I have become a liar to myself in order to make money. I hate that I have to be fake and show 'compassion' to complete strangers and people that I don't feel sorry for. I hate that I cant take a break when I want because I'm strapped to my desk or am restricted to when I can use my cell phone. I hate this job in general, but I know the reason I find myself here is my own fault. Afraid to pursue more responsibility and more education, I brought myself here.. looking for something to 'make ends meet', and 'to get by'. Investing into the false 'get something for nothing' American mentality. I fell for it, and now I have to get things back on track. I have to break out of my comfort zone, and pursue more.. because this can not continue to be my reality. Perhaps it is my own fear that has lead me here.. but it is my own heart that will lead me elsewhere. One thing is for sure, I do not like who I have become, or where I currently am. Thank God for another day to try again :-)

Let Me Vent Series: The Strife Of Being Beautiful

People only ever see the outside of me. Sometimes when I speak they look at me in confusion, as if I am speaking a foreign language. Being intelligent, serious and beautiful is like a double edge sword. Some are very intimidated. Some are envious.. but let me reassure you, it is not all that you think it is. It will not alleviate all your problems or help you find that perfect man... Sadly sometimes it makes things so much more difficult and more complicated than it even has to be. I have worked hard to estrange myself from all the streotypes that go along with beautiful women, but it doesnt matter because of people's pre-conceived ideas. I would rather be an average looking girl and get my way, than a gorgeous girl that struggles and wars with people

 constantly. People treat me differently because of my looks than they treat others. When I tell men that I am married, they do not respect it.. they proceed to pursue me, and it is so frustrating, and on top of that, my home life is not spotless and blissful. I go through trials at my home and on my job... life is not easy and I just needed to get it off my chest... ~Real Talk

Let Me Vent Series: Hey Black Girls... Why cant we get along with each other?

There is nothing worse than the war between black women... Whether it be the lightskin/darksin drama or the hood vs. oreo. It is annoying and stupid. The truth of the matter is that we all as women of color go through it.. we all experience challenges, and we need to learn to show love and be understanding to one another. When you say "you dont get along with girls", you look and sound stupid. You are a woman.. you should at least be able to relate to women... smh. Otherwise how can you raise your daughters? How can oyu prepare them for their life? There is strength in unity. There is power in love. With all the other factors we deal with in our lives, this needs to be one less problem. im serious.. it really gets under my skin.. ~Real Talk

Let me Vent Series: We All Have Breakups, My Friend.

Whether its a boyfriend,friend or marriage we all experience breakups.. so I wonder why people act so weird and secretive when it actually happens to them. Mysteriously, pictures disappear from Facebook, names change, status's get cryptic and strange. Its all so obvious.. but people think that they are hiding the pain. Breakups (whichever form) are always sad... so just be honest about it! I think the fact that we cant be honest about the demise of our relationships is really hurtful to us and others that could stand to gain from our experience. Many of us suffer without common experiences because our peers are too busy trying to put on a front. I was talking to my sister today, and we got on the subject of a couple that we know that got divorced, and the reasons why are still mysterious... I think we could all better help each other if we take our share of the responsibility's as well as coming to grips with the problems that existed. We will be better people if we review ourselves and how to become better in the future. Truth is there is not one of us that has not experienced loss... there is no reason to be shamed. The fact is the more control you take.. the less debilitating it becomes. You lose the fear because you have taken it and face it to become better.. Just remember... everyone has had it happen to them in one form or another... ~Real Talk

Let Me Vent Series:The Woes of Technology

I believe that our societies dependence is becoming an insurmountable problem. I believe that it is preventing the natural process of life and we should prepare for the detrimental effects of it... as we tamper with the environment, body and psychological we should brace ourselves for the cause and effect that is sure to come. During this post i have two specific areas i want to address: the effects on relationships and the profound effect on our children. Now before i begin i should confess that i am a lover of the foreign societal model. I believe that is what has consistently produced such self aware and successful people, whereas the latest American generations have struggled with self identity resulting in all the reckless behaviors that we Americans have become accustomed too. Recently, i was asked by an African friend if I would consider sending my children abroad to be educated. Without hesitation I would. There are too many negative factors in the states that prevent a healthy environment conducive for rearing children.I believe that the accessibility that technology(Internet) is providing is also simultaneously producing an insatiable and impatient society. We can go to our computers and with just a click can we shop,find entertainment, and connect with other people. These are just a few regular activities that usually take more time to accomplish in the natural. The dependence that we have on technology has destroyed some peoples abilities to have actual relationships. It is very important for our children to learn how to have interaction with others whilst they are young.With all the current dependence our children are not learning that, and they will be dysfunctional.We must learn to cultivate a balance of both because technology can bring some positives and conveniences to life, but it must coincide with real life as well...... ~RealTalk

Let Me Vent Series: "I Have Never Met A Girl Like You"

Words I have heard over and over in my lifetime. To say they are frustrating, would be an understatement, but that is most definitely how hearing it made me feel. First I felt weird.. like some sort of alien. Secondly, I felt alone as if no one could relate. I didn't want to be that person. I wanted to blend in.I think that I am solid, that I have a good head on my shoulder. Why should I be the minority? Why should pretty women that are also smart be a shock to society.. It really makes me mad. Its like.. what in the world did you expect? I dont think that I am that extraordinary. I just make time to read, pay attention to learn. The pressure I feel is unreal. Not only do I deal with alot of envy, but then Im also simultaneously a leader... people watch every move I make and wait to amplify my mistakes.It is a calling that is on some of our lives. It is frustrating, but it is necessary for those of us with influence to use it accordingly. Our cooperation or lack there of can seriously impact others that watch us and emulate us... ~RealTalk

Let Me Vent Series: Let Me Holla At The Brothers

This recent news of Chris Rock divorcing his loyal wife and mother of his children after nearly 20 years of marriage has me so twisted... and I wanted to take the time out to holla at the brothers because I'm so far from a black man hater.. I love my black men from all the many places they come from, but the way you dog black women is lowdown and unacceptable. What I often wonder is what will happen to your little black daughters.. I wonder if think twice if you imagined some other brother doing them the way you do us? You seem to think you are too good for a black woman.. as if we don't float your boat. I know its because of some deep rooted hate you have for yourself, your family and your roots... I know its because the media classically paints sexy black men with non black women.. I know you think you are getting some sort of prize, but ironically you are often met with the very reasons why you are better suited for a woman of color. You happen to notice the differences of culture,housekeeping, religion and parenting.. you find yourself longing for the very attributes you turned your nose up on... and Oh, I know it to be true.. I have so many black guy friends that have confided in me such truths.. Stop it.... stop estranging yourself.. stop puffing out your chest because you are no better than the woman that birthed you.... No other woman will be as loyal to you as we will, and that is real talk.....