Thursday, January 30, 2014
|Mr. & Mrs|
I had to write a post to all my wonderful followers & subscribers and shout out another lady Mrs Haiku Taiwo from Jacksonville, Florida who is also married to an West African Nigerian man. She kindly reminded me today that I am working toward making one of my dreams come true, helping other African American women hear and learn the truth. As promised..... If you show me love, I will show you love. Thank you Haiku!!!!! <3 I wish you and your husband the best!
Sunday, January 26, 2014
Now, I know so many dissertations have been shared on this, but on my blog, I choose to share my feelings... because honestly I remember that night like it was yesterday. I remember utter shock as they announced the outcome of the election, the pride that ensued in my heart after his invigorating speech, and the sorrow for what I knew was to follow his tremendous accomplishments. I will never take the historic feat away from President Obama, but I knew that only because the climate of this country was in such disarray, would a black man ever step into the oval office.. Now as the years have passed, I still see the shear hate for our charismatic president. I see the unwillingness of the different wings of government to work collectively.. I see the gray that has taken over the once jet black full head of hair. I know the inner defeat that President Obama must feel, the sacrifice that Michelle endures as the public watches her every move and attacks her family.... the frustration that although both of them, well educated and professional, still get no appreciation. No accolades. The way the media boldly calls President Obama simply Obama with no respect.. and the way the ignorant crowd of first time voters that put him in office impatiently turn against him. The way the American public has made it a race thing... how so many refuse to even acknowledge him because he is black... (which in reality, Barak, is of mixed background). I endured hate because President Obama took office, some whites lashed out at me.. not even knowing or asking me my thoughts on the election, yet all out of assumption because I am black too. I wonder about the colored "American" dream. Why it has been such a difficult pill to be swallowed? I feel for him deeply in a way that many black people will never acknowledge... I question the costs of taking such a role.. as I regard it as totally not worth it... Not worth all the scrutiny from these careless, critical, reckless bastards. I think about the impact to his daughters, and how it has forever changed their lives.. I worry about their safety both while he is in office, and once his term is up. I question the loyalty of those protecting him, and wonder if they would go to all lengths to keep him safe. And all these thoughts are politics aside, as I am republican and didn't even vote in either election. These are concerned thoughts of a black woman in an aggressive racist world. Knowing that before he even became elected the issues in America are related to a moral crisis, where the crowd leads the leaders, and those in position are too fearful to upset the American public. Violence and confusion are rampant. And I have lived in this country when it flowed with prosperity. When a shooting in a school was the furthest thing on a young students mind. When a youth longed to grow up... when the future seemed brighter. I realized that no matter the man that took office, without a return to God... we will continued to be on a strained path. No one wishes to hear that truth, instead of revering those that speak it.... We are attacked with a vengeance. Its sad and disheartening... and after the complete slander of President Obama, I am reminded of just that...the times that we are currently living in.
Thursday, January 23, 2014
As I shared my honest heart and feelings yesterday with someone who is so precious to me, I realized how very critical communication is in all forms of relationships. Denying your friend/lover the opportunity to understand the depths of your thoughts and heart hurts both parties. After the conversation I felt like a million pounds had been lifted off me because we were able to talk candidly about a difficult situation in which neither one of us had been able to reach a conclusion too. You hear it often, but so many of us neglect to keep the doors off communication open. I suggest that you regularly make an effort to communicate with those that are important to you, It can be the difference between a failed friendship/relationship and a lasting one.
Saturday, January 18, 2014
Sunday, January 12, 2014
Today, I carefully listened as a bunch of single women and men had the 'conversation'. The conversation of the totally fanciful expectations of a mate. As the only actual married person among them, I protectively kept my opinions to myself although encouraged to get into it. I suppose I recognized it better to just keep quiet with my old fashioned mentality., as I have learned on many occasions... my opinions can be 'radical' to the new young generation who believes deeply in fantasy. I listened as one (black) female, (who is very particular) listed her laundry list of 'must haves'. Internally I laughed to myself because she is quite different, difficult and in my opinion overly aggressive to suit a woman. The fact of the matter is, when it comes to the character of a female.. no matter how educated and powerful you are, you have to learn how to be submissive to your husband. It is both Biblical and proper. I found it comical that no one tends to make the correlation with the extremely independent types and their singleness is this very factor. At the end of the day.. a woman can never be a man.. if she can not learn this lesson.. she will perpetually be her own man. I also think expecting more of your potential mate than that of which you even have to offer is selfish and unrealistic. What would make you think that you are entitled to more than you are willing to give? Moving on to the next female.... the classic (black) thug lover. I listened as she contradicted herself.. claiming to want a thug with the edgy, rugged exterior, yet possessing the inner qualities of a gentleman.. famously known as the oxymoronic 'educated thug' character...... I listened as she cited her many year relationship with her 'fiancee', as she deemed as the perfect blend. Her preference was based heavily on the rugged sexy exterior that alot of bad boys/thugs have. Again.. I stayed silent as I thought of the impossibility of having a true mature adult relationship with that type of man. I thought about attempting to introduce my world to him... also calculating in all the drama, women, immaturity and baggage... the thug type is by far hardly worth it. Lastly I listened to the extremely difficult, super single, (black) man.... talk about all the things he didn't have time for in regards of having to emotionally be there for another person..... and how he is just looking for the right person. Any girl that was not likely to jump at his every whim was not going to get far, but I presume that we can surmise all this from his single status. Next there was the attractive (white) male that was going through strife with his over-a-decade-younger immature selfish girlfriend. Seems that the man puts in major efforts that are met with no level of compromise. Overall none of the discussed situations at all seem appeasing to me, and it seemed to me that all those involved were losing more than they were gaining. But i know you don't come to this blog to know what they think or do... yet my thoughts on the aforementioned subjects... So as far as relationships and marriage go. I will simply say these things. One has to understand that in order to grow or move forward with someone..... compromise is fundamental. There is no perfect match.. no human devoid of some sort of lack exists. Even with careful selection.. you will experience something(s) in which your mate comes up short in. Which I would direct at the first young woman... As for the second scenario: Strength is an internal thing... not simply a look. Usually the person with the hardest exterior is usually the biggest punk of them all, and perhaps the reason she craves such a guy speaks to issues in her own personal life. To the single black man...... just stay single because your expectations of refusing to be available to someone, yet expectanting top tier treatment is both unrealistic and selfish..... shame on you. To the white man..... please stop trying to mold a young impressionable female, it is no secret that she is emotionally unavailable to you.... for God's sake she is young and immature!!!!!!
Wednesday, January 8, 2014
Sunday, January 5, 2014
So In the above clip I share my experiences as I have tried to pursue the "American Dream" and was made painfully aware of the reality of the different standards set before me. I want to share my experiences as to help someone going through and in need of the truth.... "Colored girl, you are not crazy,You are just colored in an environment where color is a big deal".... you are not alone....
Saturday, January 4, 2014
Very late one Saturday night I was on my way home from a function and usually I will just take the street way home... Well with it being nearly 5 am I decided to hope the freeway for a quicker faster way home. The freeway was so dark. Me and another car followed each other for miles. By the time we both threw the breaks on, the cruiser had already pulled out of the center where they tend to sit while they are clocking drivers for speed. Close to a exit both me and the other car opted to get off to avoid the cop... Now to add extra suspense to this familiar tale, I will share with you that at the time of this incident, I had been driving for months with an expired license and tags, for my own private study on how long I could get away with it..... apparently only 4 months :-( . From my experience almost every car that I known to have caused an accident seemingly never have any insurance or a driver license. I decided this year to take my chances and see how long I could get by with expired tags and license) The exit we happened to choose was a three lane exit. I chose to go left, the other driver chose to go right and the cop sat in the middle lane until the light changed green. As soon as I made the turn so did he, and the lights brightly came on. I banged my hand on the steering wheel because I knew my current status. The police officer approached my car and gave me a ticket for one of the two offenses as if he was doing me some favor. The total cost came up to $95 dollars. I was so irritated although clearly wrong.... I decided to take my chance in the courthouse to refute the charges. Now, I was obviously guilty, but that wasn't a deterrent in the least because in this country, guilt is no indication that one will actually be convicted for their crimes. As we all know Mr. George Zimmerman is a recent example of how obvious guilt can walk free without receiving any related charges, which I kindly explained to the prosecutor that tried to convince me to simply pay the ticket instead of taking it to trial. He said to me, "Obviously you were driving without your license in order, what is there to negotiate?", and I responded, candidly (in popular Afrikan Superstar fashion) "In a country where George Zimmerman walks free, I will certainly take my chances, schedule my court date please." And just like that, he was silenced...... but all the more amazing, was how prior to the court date, I was offered to settle for only the court costs of $50, which I felt like was a reasonable cost to pay.The prosecutor told me they didn't want to have to pay the officer overtime to appear in court. I'm astonished that my guilty persistence paid off..... that despite my obvious crime... I was able to lessen my out of pocket costs.... on a small scale this is the type of abuse that runs rampant in our judicial system... and it is so sickening. However..... with it being a new year.... I'm on a new tract, and that tract is #PushTheEnvelope; #NotGuilty. From this point on.... I will not hesitate to try my hand at any favorable outcome. It is a mind boggling concept for those of us who believe in being right, and disciplining ourselves to do right even when others are not looking, however, I am learning in my adulthood that in many many cases, chances are to be taken. If by chance the courts would have found me guilty, No sweat, because I have never not once disputed my guilt, however, I was going to ride the wagon until the wheels fell off. :-)