Thursday, December 29, 2016

At times all you can do is try

I have noticed a very disgusting habit of the vocal majority on social media which is to discourage others from embarking or even expressing their dreams, what actually triggered this post was because we are approaching yet another year, and I see many people discouraging others change when they discuss plans or goals they would like to accomplish in 2017. Do not be afraid to change if you feel the need too, after all it is your life, and you will not be able to use the fact that social media discouraged you as a viable reason as to why you didn't strive for progress while you had the opportunity. If you are on the other hand the cyber bully reading this... learn how to be quiet and focus on your own life. whether or not someone is successful on their goals has no bearing on you directly unless you are connected to person ex: spouse, family or close friend. If anything you should learn how to encourage others... as long as we are living we all have an opportunity to move forward and better our circumstances.. you don't dictate others success and you wouldn't want to be the realistic reason someone lost their motivation.

Tuesday, August 9, 2016

Your life is what you make it..

We live in a world in which it is very popular for people to complain about what they don't have, what they haven't been given and how unfair life is, but the reality is that your life is going to be what you make it, or what you don't make it. Obviously there are many systematic factors that can contribute to delays of goals, but if you refuse to quit no matter what; you WILL go far regardless of the obstacles. I believe that one has to be totally aware of their life and goals, and not get distracted and derailed by every small thing that comes along. Also they must be fully aware that once they make the choice to be successful and pursue their purpose, the distractions will be at an all time high. When you drive on the road and see all the different lives driving different cars it is an illustration to me of how many different avenues of life are taking place simultaneously. Some people drive fancy cars.. some drive beat up cars. Some are well dressed. some are casual, but one thing resonates... they are where they are because they put themselves there. We can pray to God to bless our lives, but we bear the responsibility of heading in the right direction. There are many barriers, but there is also plenty to gain. I have chosen to go for what I can so that I may leave an impact when I'm no longer here.

Saturday, August 6, 2016

The Black Sellout.... I wonder.

I was out and about the other day and I saw a black man with a white lady and their two very pale looking children. I wondered in that instance if the husband ever felt like he sold out .... I wonder if he ever looks at his kids and tries to locate himself? If he ever wonders that the cost he paid was too high or not worth it? I wonder if he knows to some that he looks like a complete fool.. trying to fit in and be received, when you can never really ever fit in with them because you are indeed different... I wonder if he knows no level of education or amount of money can change the color of skin.... I wonder if he knows of the identity crisis his children might endure... the issues they may have derived from 'cultural differences'. Being surrounded by white children/people at a young age, I can relate to alot of the issues that come from being different than some of your black peers. It is confusing, saddening and often frustrating trying to straddle between two worlds. I often wonder if the parents choosing that future for their kids even consider it. I hope that they realize that by mixing black does not minimize it, and nowadays it has become more obvious than ever.

Tuesday, April 19, 2016

Cultural differences: Very low expectations

Unfortunately abroad in the rest of the world American women have a terrible reputation. Especially black women due to the medias' portrayal of black women. We are shown as dramatic women with lots of illegitimate children. Seen as having attitudes and being over the top. Perceived as easy or sexually promiscuous. Sometimes foreign men will approach you with all these stereotypes inbred. They will attempt to do things with you and treat you in a way they never would with women from their own country: ask you for money, refuse to take you out, try to get sex without commitment etc. You will need to set the record straight immediately if you detect any of this behavior. If you so choose to date a foreign person, it is very important to get a grasp of their culture. It is important to meet their friends and family and observe how they behave. I can tell you most native foreigners frown on women with tattoos and that use profanity. Also if you are able, try to make friends with some ladies from their country and study them. You do not have to observe them, but I guarantee understanding him on that level will greatly benefit your relationship.

Friday, April 15, 2016


Recently I've been driving Uber..and I am beyond grateful for the opportunity..but on last night I had the most sobering situation to date on one of my many rides.. A young white woman got in my car..was quiet until she received a phone call...suddenly I heard her tell the other person on the phone " I don't want to be here anymore...but I don't want to leave you.." and burst into tears. When she hung up I asked what was wrong and if she was ok. She told me she was having a very rough night and that a year ago she had attempted suicide. She said that she had promised people close to her that she would not attempt it again without letting them know first...the revelation took my breath away. I realized in that instance I may be serving as real-time intervention for the young lady and without delay...I began to impart to her that she was valuable...and that she had purpose..a truth I can not be certain whether or not she may have been aware, and then I asked her if I could pray for her. She said I reached my hand in the back seat, grabbed hers and prayed my heart out for the troubled girl. If you ever find yourself in the same better take not let that person out of your sight before covering them in prayer. I asked her if she needed me but she said she was going to meet her boyfriend. I reminded her before she got out of my car to just give it more time whatever it was that was bothering her. I hugged her and kissed her cheek, and I can only hope that she is ok, and that my prayers were heard. In our culture... we ignore too often people's cry for attention or detect their behaviors.. I encourage you to begin to look at the world around you. I truly believe we can make a difference by doing so,

Thursday, March 10, 2016

Dear White People....Please tell me

It took me the longest to ever admit that there was a difference between us. It took me forever to accept there was a different standard in which I was held too, that you are not. It hurt my feelings to be reprimanded for the very same things you did, except you were never punished.. never called out. It disturbs me to see the growing mistreatment of other people that happen to look like me, and you justify the mis treatment.. all the while you crave my diversity, innovation and beauty.... All of it is so confusing.
As a product of suburban living and private schools I sat shoulder and shoulder next to you in class. I watched as you sat clueless from your lack of processing and critical thinking skills, and with compassion I helped you. I molded your character, encouraged others to be your friends, helped you dress.. I essentially made you who you are.
As we got older that's when the rift began to grow, and by college it was full blown. You acted like you didn't know me to fit in with other whites.. as if we never had history. You turned your back on injustices that happened to my people, you pretended I shouldn't talk about your past, and the past of this country, that we should be over atrocities from which your families greatly profited .. because you had so much fear, and because you have no character. It killed me when you did all of these things. More than you ever would know.
You believed all the the stereotypes.. although you knew for a fact.. you had been exposed to the way I lived, and it was not what was portrayed.
You deduced me to entertainment purposes. You laughed off my concerned claims; negating their validity.. I worked three times as hard because I was taught the essence of hard work. It has gotten me no where.
Now we work side by side in the office.. and you watch them harass me, and you say nothing. You get promoted as you come to me to answer your questions.
You wonder why I'm upset. Well I really don't want to be.. but how I'm treated... its not fair.. and I cant help but feel so subjected to it.
What I want, is to be given what is due to me, not handouts... I want to progress once I have worked hard. I want utilize the education I have spent time and money acquiring. Not be seen as a threat.. not to have my livelihood tampered with in a way that you would never be able to stand... not to have other people that look like me, who could even be me... killed by police officers. and then have no justice served to them? I want you to treat me how you want to be and are treated.
I wonder how can you stand by and let this happen.. How can you hide your voice, how you sleep at night.. I thought you loved me..
I thought we were friends. The truth is we have many things in common, but you harbor hate...and this is why we will always be separate and why I never will trust you.

Sunday, February 21, 2016

Too Good?? Or not good enough

Its a natural question you might ask yourself if you are black, beautiful, intelligent,ambitious and single. you might ask yourself why you get passed up for bums and women with so much baggage (an American phenomenon) . You might wonder why it is so challenging to have a relationship that works and build a future with someone equally yoked. Your natural inclination is to assume you are not good enough, not pretty. just not enough period. When you continually measure up and exceed expectations placed on you... and instead of bringing you closer it seems to create barriers. its not because you are not good enough. Trust me because I know. I have a 100% ( with the exception of my newly ex husband as of yet) return rate. Former loves ALWAYS come back around telling me how advanced I was, how they weren't ready, how they miss me etc, and even in some cases they have even told their new significant others about me (which always blows my mind). After receiving two such contacts in one day through Facebook, I realized that it has not indeed been that I wasn't suffice, but that I was too much. You may reason as a woman that has obtained a few things and keeps herself together.. that it would make you more marketable, more desirable, but in reality.. it makes you more estranged and intimidating to the general public. It is cliche... but very very true, I can concur. I have finally come to realize that the empty look in their eyes is not one of disapproval yet one of awe. Unlike me (who would gladly recognize and jump on the man of my dreams if he was standing before me)some men are scared, terrified, and or petrified of their dream girl. It signifies the end of many chapters for them and brings on the realization of responsibility. Some men are immature, some will never mature, and others will just take some time. I felt the need to make this post because although I am a very confident woman, I have occasionally had those days (more-so as I have gotten older and divorced) in which I doubt myself, and wonder why this area has been so challenging. However today I'm on a high, and I have been made aware of the truth.. that I am all of the things I have groomed myself to be, and that the world is just not ready yet.

Sunday, February 7, 2016

Five things Black People Can Do To Empower Themselves

Often times people talk in depth about the problems that exist in the Black American Community without providing any substantial advice on things we can do to collectively heal our community. I will graciously accept the role as an advocate, spokesperson and leader to help my people. I have committed myself to leaving some impact with my life on this world. somehow some way. I find that am extremely empowered by knowing my history so that would have to be my number one point
1) Learn your history
Contrary to popular belief.. black history does not start with slavery, and we have left countless contributions to society in our past.Forget about black history month.. make it a lifestyle.

2) Strive for independence from the media,bad food and a negative outlook on life
My next concept is radical, but I truly believe it will provide healthy results for your body and mind. Subliminally in America we are taught to think low of ourselves and our potential. We are spoon fed through our schooling and our derogatory media that we are troublesome and useless. It takes a serious decompressing to realize the reason that we are subliminally fed these messages is to keep us at bay and minimize our power. Society knows that we are key contributors and innovators. The best way to prevent utter domination is to weaken the mind. Fight back by waging independence.Spend more time reading and or actually living life versus watching T.V. The foods we eat are full of steroids and hormones which is contributing to unhealthy lives and disease. We have to eat better and cook more especially if we are parents.

3) Travel
My perspective of myself and my people has been greatly enhanced by my travels (Mexico, Puerto Rico, Italy, Spain, U.K and all over the states). Fortunately, I was blessed to begin traveling overseas at a very young age, as my mother is a native Bermudian (from the 75 mile long island Bermuda). It cultivated a great love and appreciation of travel. As I continue to expand my travels, I see how people of color are treated abroad, and how desirable I am as a woman of color elsewhere. It powerful, and mind changing. I encourage you to visit place where people of color live, from South America ,Africa to London Just to get a taste of life abroad. You may even find that you want to relocate. I have found that I am revered abroad, and it has helped to boost my self esteem.Traveling is not expensive or unattainable, It just requires you planning ahead :-)

4)Love on our kids 
Take care of your kids. Self educate your kids. Spend time with your kids. Love on your kids. It is a cold cruel world, and your children have to learn their self worth quickly... otherwise they will get swept into the fast life or despair.. not understanding who they are and that they have a distinct purpose. Do not leave it to the schools to educate our children. I believe that it is due to the fact that my parents passionately instilled self worth in me, that I was able to develop such a strong character, and although I went to private schools I have found that I have never ever been ashamed or insecure about my blackness

5)Build your OWN etc...
We are too accustomed for asking or expecting things from people. We seemingly seek validation from others when we don't even need it. It is in our nature to be creative and innovative, so let us create our own enterprises. Let us make our own schools, clothing, and entertainment. Let us seek and provide answers to our own problems. Once an adult we don't need to ask permission to do anything

Saturday, February 6, 2016

Too much freedom spoils a society

American society and life at this current time is largely mislead...the general consensus is too liberal and is detracting from the legendary quality of life that has formally been associated with living in America. The fact of the matter is that life in the states is too free. I believe that for a society to function well...there needs to be some level of social uniformity. There must be community and socially people need to be on the same page. When every person becomes an individual, it is difficult to accomplish things because instead of moving in one direction...the group is spread up and going in many different directions.