Sunday, February 21, 2016

Too Good?? Or not good enough

Its a natural question you might ask yourself if you are black, beautiful, intelligent,ambitious and single. you might ask yourself why you get passed up for bums and women with so much baggage (an American phenomenon) . You might wonder why it is so challenging to have a relationship that works and build a future with someone equally yoked. Your natural inclination is to assume you are not good enough, not pretty. just not enough period. When you continually measure up and exceed expectations placed on you... and instead of bringing you closer it seems to create barriers. its not because you are not good enough. Trust me because I know. I have a 100% ( with the exception of my newly ex husband as of yet) return rate. Former loves ALWAYS come back around telling me how advanced I was, how they weren't ready, how they miss me etc, and even in some cases they have even told their new significant others about me (which always blows my mind). After receiving two such contacts in one day through Facebook, I realized that it has not indeed been that I wasn't suffice, but that I was too much. You may reason as a woman that has obtained a few things and keeps herself together.. that it would make you more marketable, more desirable, but in reality.. it makes you more estranged and intimidating to the general public. It is cliche... but very very true, I can concur. I have finally come to realize that the empty look in their eyes is not one of disapproval yet one of awe. Unlike me (who would gladly recognize and jump on the man of my dreams if he was standing before me)some men are scared, terrified, and or petrified of their dream girl. It signifies the end of many chapters for them and brings on the realization of responsibility. Some men are immature, some will never mature, and others will just take some time. I felt the need to make this post because although I am a very confident woman, I have occasionally had those days (more-so as I have gotten older and divorced) in which I doubt myself, and wonder why this area has been so challenging. However today I'm on a high, and I have been made aware of the truth.. that I am all of the things I have groomed myself to be, and that the world is just not ready yet.

Sunday, February 7, 2016

Five things Black People Can Do To Empower Themselves

Often times people talk in depth about the problems that exist in the Black American Community without providing any substantial advice on things we can do to collectively heal our community. I will graciously accept the role as an advocate, spokesperson and leader to help my people. I have committed myself to leaving some impact with my life on this world. somehow some way. I find that am extremely empowered by knowing my history so that would have to be my number one point
1) Learn your history
Contrary to popular belief.. black history does not start with slavery, and we have left countless contributions to society in our past.Forget about black history month.. make it a lifestyle.

2) Strive for independence from the media,bad food and a negative outlook on life
My next concept is radical, but I truly believe it will provide healthy results for your body and mind. Subliminally in America we are taught to think low of ourselves and our potential. We are spoon fed through our schooling and our derogatory media that we are troublesome and useless. It takes a serious decompressing to realize the reason that we are subliminally fed these messages is to keep us at bay and minimize our power. Society knows that we are key contributors and innovators. The best way to prevent utter domination is to weaken the mind. Fight back by waging independence.Spend more time reading and or actually living life versus watching T.V. The foods we eat are full of steroids and hormones which is contributing to unhealthy lives and disease. We have to eat better and cook more especially if we are parents.

3) Travel
My perspective of myself and my people has been greatly enhanced by my travels (Mexico, Puerto Rico, Italy, Spain, U.K and all over the states). Fortunately, I was blessed to begin traveling overseas at a very young age, as my mother is a native Bermudian (from the 75 mile long island Bermuda). It cultivated a great love and appreciation of travel. As I continue to expand my travels, I see how people of color are treated abroad, and how desirable I am as a woman of color elsewhere. It powerful, and mind changing. I encourage you to visit place where people of color live, from South America ,Africa to London Just to get a taste of life abroad. You may even find that you want to relocate. I have found that I am revered abroad, and it has helped to boost my self esteem.Traveling is not expensive or unattainable, It just requires you planning ahead :-)

4)Love on our kids 
Take care of your kids. Self educate your kids. Spend time with your kids. Love on your kids. It is a cold cruel world, and your children have to learn their self worth quickly... otherwise they will get swept into the fast life or despair.. not understanding who they are and that they have a distinct purpose. Do not leave it to the schools to educate our children. I believe that it is due to the fact that my parents passionately instilled self worth in me, that I was able to develop such a strong character, and although I went to private schools I have found that I have never ever been ashamed or insecure about my blackness

5)Build your OWN etc...
We are too accustomed for asking or expecting things from people. We seemingly seek validation from others when we don't even need it. It is in our nature to be creative and innovative, so let us create our own enterprises. Let us make our own schools, clothing, and entertainment. Let us seek and provide answers to our own problems. Once an adult we don't need to ask permission to do anything

Saturday, February 6, 2016

Too much freedom spoils a society

American society and life at this current time is largely mislead...the general consensus is too liberal and is detracting from the legendary quality of life that has formally been associated with living in America. The fact of the matter is that life in the states is too free. I believe that for a society to function well...there needs to be some level of social uniformity. There must be community and socially people need to be on the same page. When every person becomes an individual, it is difficult to accomplish things because instead of moving in one direction...the group is spread up and going in many different directions.