I learned very early in the game that I was not white... although smart and vibrant amongst my mostly white class at the private school I attended for most of my childhood life. Inasmuch as I tried to fit in with them, I never did. The next most natural response that i could come up with was assimilating with black people. Seemed quite logical that if I didn't belong with those that I had been raised with, I belonged elsewhere. However due to my complexion, and the way I spoke I wasn't always well received by my black American peers either, coupled with the fact that I had already cultivated fine tastes in which some of my peers could not relate.. I found my self caught between a tug of war. Some people are not ok with their blackness. They spend their whole life wishing to be something else. I never saw my blackness as a weakness, yet as a strength. I have also gravitated towards foreigners because I felt that they could relate to the type of lifestyle I am looking to cultivate. Pursuing foreigners has brought a host of other unforeseen issues, as I had to learn that cultural differences do indeed exist even between people of color. One huge conflict that rips me apart is that between Native Africans (born and raised in Africa) and Black Americans (born and raised in the United States). It the ridiculous stereotypes that Americans have against Africans.. coupled by the perceived 'arrogant' attitudes of the Africans. Being a product of a mixed and blended family, I found some aspects of it as a magnet for hate, envy and confusion. I gradually decided I would put the blackness back in my future by reconnecting with Africans. To date I have made great strides, and I am certain I'll leave behind a legacy my children will love. One that helps them embrace not only their own blackness, but that of others. My deep love for people of color shocks everyone , but most of all other people of color. Fortunately through social media I have been connecting with people worldwide, and it saddens me that so many of them are anxious to move to the U.S, although (from my travels I am actually permitted to compare and contrast) some of their quality of life is better in their home country. The whole purpose of writing this blog and by having my YouTube channel is dispelling some stereotypes and speaking the truth. I desire to know Africans better, I desire for them to teach me about my blackness in its purest form.I want to be more resourceful. I honestly believe so much is to be gained if we bridge this gap.. Will you help me?