Thursday, April 4, 2013

Consider your ways.

Burning Lust, but at what cost?

For every worldly, crafty, intellectual woman married to a regular guy, I would highly recommend Tyler Perry’s new movie Temptation. Often times our media and society brings to the surface the struggles of the married man and neglects the struggles of the married woman. As a woman, most of us understand the unwritten code of “Keep your man pleased, or someone else will”. However there are more and more women finding themselves on the other side of the coin. In which they work hard to keep their husband pleased, while he neglects them sexually or emotionally, putting them in an difficult spot. 
Love or Lust? You must choose.
 Coupled with an environment where many black women are single and thirsty…  the only advice a woman continually gets is “Girl, he is a good man” and “Good men are hard to find”. Honestly until now, I have felt this issue has been silent, and wives everywhere are suffering. If you are in a similar situation as the one described, this movie will help you to consider your ways, as our Bible warns us too (Haggai 1:7 Thus saith the Lord of hosts; Consider your ways). What is stressed in the movie is what I like to call ‘The Passion vs. The Provider complex’. The Passion will offer you fantasy and nothing tangible while The Provider will demonstrate love over making you feel love. What you may not know is that after you get married, even as a woman, you will be tempted. Perhaps an old love will come back around with renewed interest, or a co-worker will notice when you paint your nails or fix your hair. Meanwhile you come home to a mate who may be temperamental, emotional, easily stressed and seemingly disinterested.
The Provider will certainly love you, but may not always show it.
 The easy solution would be finding a filler for the passionate connection you lack with your husband, however for the Christian, this presents another challenge. You have already committed to God that you will care for your mate under any circumstances, for the rest of your life. You risk repercussions from not treating your spouse right even though you feel that they are neglecting your needs. As married Christians we are charged with the responsibility to love our spouse as “Christ loved the church”.
Some pointers to dispelling this myth:
1)      Realize that no person will be perfect
2)      Count up the costs: $The cost of cheating, $being found out, $losing your mate, $unwanted pregnancy or disease, $having to explain, $divorce, $public embarrassment, $judgment from God ,$lost trust,$ your children learning the truth now or later etc….
3)      Humble yourself….. Who are you that you deserve all your needs met at all times? Perhaps you could possibly be being selfish.
4)      Communicate and work collectively with your mate to create a better environment for love and intimacy.
5)      See Temptation
Just as Eve was tempted so will we be Ladies. Let us be wise and stay fervent in prayer.


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