Thursday, April 24, 2014

Ghetto Love..... Is It Worth The Cost?

Jim Jones & Crissy

Cast of Love & Hip Hop

Ciara & Future
I know a few girls that have been dealing with the same man for years. I have heard the stories of the ups and downs, the tears, the disappointments and the broken promises. I have watched some of these girls stand beside their 'boo' through court dates, incarceration, hospital stays from gun play or other violence,custody battles, baby mama drama etc. I wonder if the perpetuation of ghetto love is worth the high stakes and the high cost? Should a woman pine and chase after a man? Is it even right??? I see that recently almost all the black reality shows glorify these type of 'relationships' and I use that term liberally.Strategically, they showcase black women in place as the baby mama,ex, live in girlfriend,and longtime boo. They chronicle the drama and the struggle of the ghetto relationship, and I wonder why a young beautiful black girl with no baggage of her own would even desire something as unhealthy as what is shown? I wonder if subconsciously we as women of color don't believe that we deserve a more traditional relationship that includes: stability, acknowledgement and commitment. I wonder if we feel like having a family that shares the same name and lives and grows with each other is outdated. Not to ever say that the traditional model is without its problems.. but I'm often disgusted at how many of my beautiful black peers subject themselves to futures marred by drama caused by someone hardly worthy of the attention. I personally know women that have stayed with men for years without any type of commitment or acknowledgement. I have watched, in awe as some of these girls begin the journey of parenthood with these same men, that often have many other children that they may not even be able to support. I suppose my mentality is different because I often choose to judge a book by it cover, although that is not popular among my peers. I would never take chances with someone who has demonstrated in the past the type of behaviors like the ones I describe. I wonder if it is exciting, yet it still merits asking at what cost and embarrassment? Seems to me that the exhilaration of a bad boy is far more costly than its worth.... What do you think?

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