First Night In London

  

When In London, do as the Londoner's do. So tonight I got dressed up and headed around the corner for some real Italian pizza from an Italian pizzeria. Then I strolled to the Paddington Station to grab a cup of Costa coffee and watch the busy train station in action. Below, I have also shown some footage of the area in central London where I am staying as well as features of my European compact hotel room. Enjoy!

Today is The Day........ London here I come

Thank you all in your support.... For following me and motivating me to follow my dreams in order to be motivating to you. Today i realize a longtime dream of mine, by traveling to London, England for the first time. Continue to check the blog for more videos and posts as I am abroad.. and as always #STAYBLKANDTRUE!!!!!!!!!  

At The End Of The Day

Today was one of those days.... I had words with my husband last night, which prevented a good night's rest. Only to wake up, exhausted, go in to work to be fired, right before my big surprise that will take place tomorrow. It is a surreal experience to no longer have a job that I have day in and day out attended for nearly four years. Although it is no secret that I absolutely hated my job, and the company that I worked for. I wanted to be comfortable... go in work my designated hours and collect a check, never ever trying to exert too much energy. I have always known however, that God expects so much more from me, but doing something outside the box is an uncomfortable concept.... In some strange way I feel relieved from the stressful environment I have chronicled in some of my posts and videos, but this will require me going back into the rat race, playing the role, and making new friends (God forbid, lol) and I'm already dreading the menus-ha. However, I will survive. I will get back on my feet. I will overcome this moment, and I will be ok. What I have long realized is that as long as we have health and sound mind, we are immensely blessed. The importance we place on status,money and material things is overrated, and if we so happy to live through a job loss, breakup, illness, or other misfortune, remember to count your blessings..... cause at the end of the day.. its not that serious, and you can come back over and over again :-)

The Dream No Longer Deferred (Preview)

Cultural Differences: The African King.. To Be Respected

Unlike some or the weak black men of the United States that lack confidence, an African man knows his identity.. he knows his place, and aspires to measure up to his potential. From the time he is born, he is celebrated and fussed about. He grows up in a culture that respects and caters too African men and promotes brotherhood among each other. If you are courting with an African man, you must understand this, and provide him the utmost respect. You may also invest time and research to learning about his culture as you develop your relationship. Not that you have to sacrifice your character, but it will make understanding your man much easier. In African cultures, the woman is the backbone of the family, she pulls it together, but the man is the head of the family, just as the Bible has always instructed. I have heard many people talk about how arrogant African men appear to be, however if you understand where he is coming from, you can decode him. I honestly believe that people mistake an African's confidence as arrogance. In many cases foreign men have lived very well abroad and are accustomed to a certain quality of life. This can be defined as lifestyle. 
Caring for your man shows him your appreciation. Small things such as serving his meal, complimenting him and his contributions to your family and other small thoughtful gestures stroke him to the core. He may not verbalize it, but it solidifies his manhood. Unlike American men, African men strongly embody the responsibility of their families. You will never see an African man living comfortably while his children go without or his wife is left miserable. You can always be assured that as he holds himself to a high standard, he is well aware that his family is also an extension of himself. He will pursue education tirelessly and work consistently. At his side you will see progress as he shares his blessings with you. 
African men love black women, and seek to begin families with one. They love us in a varieties of colors and appreciate our curvy figures. My husband never complains about my looks unlike some extremely critical American guys I have dated in the past that were constantly trying to mold me into something else. Exploits with women outside of their race are not always honored or recognized by their families, and unlike some American men, African men respect their family and desire to please their parents.
From my experience, African men are peaceful, quiet men.They desire to have a harmonious household and will do their part to help. I have never known one to raise their hand or be violent although it is a stereotype I am constantly confronted with. My husband holds in his emotions never ever raising his voice at me when he is frustrated. It requires me meeting him on his level. Naturally being raised here in the United States teaches a woman to be more verbal and assertive. I learned early on not to approach him like this. It got me nowhere. When you are dealing with someone special you have to learn to have respect in the way that you address them, and just like the age old saying you will always be able to get more flies with honey than with vinegar. 
If you happen to date a foreign man, remember that he is different. Learn how to communicate calmly with him, as you may have gotten a wrong impression from him, that was not meant in the context that you took it. I have found that people that were not raised here are a bit more free thinking and innocent. Although many Americans of are defensive and cautious of people, foreigners tend to see the best of situations. I have found that my husband is devoid of many emotional issues, and is very trusting of people, however with time, he has acclimated to life in America.
Hoped this provided some proper instruction on how to regard your precious African man....and insight :-)

Be the Change You Want To See, To Reestablish what "Used" To Be

So many times I hear people complain about how things used to be, how people used to be respectful, how men used to desired commitment more often and such.... the list goes on and on of how things "used to be". However what I realize is that in order for a change to take place, someone has to take action, someone has to be prepared to stand and represent when others are not.... as young people... we have to be the change we want to see.  If you want to be solid parents.. that will require you making the necessary sacrifices.... If you desire to have the kinda marriage that your grandparents had, that will desire you deciding to trade in the single life for one of commitments. Our society is one of great fantasy, and will not promote the indisputable fact that in order to do anything of substance and longevity.. it will require your hand in the matter. I have learned in my life that no one is committed to my dreams, not even my husband nor my parents because everyone has their own distinct set of dreams that they are busy pursuing. As of the recent few years, I have put tremendous efforts into molding a more exciting life, in which I feel less hindered of the factors around me. I focused in on not letting anything prevent me, and that mentality has been beyond successful in accomplishing some things in my life. Not only do I encourage you to work on being the change you crave, but I live to implement it in my own life. No longer will i let the simple's small frame of mind put parameters around my "larger than life" perspective as my husband calls it. I'm living.... and having fun.

All The Cardinal Signs We ignore

I believe that all major players, leaders and empires have all approached a time and place in which the cardinal signs and warnings are evident. This is the point in which either you will rise or fall with the way you choose to proceed. Recently, A famous actor, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, did not choose wisely while at his crux, and it cost him his life. He however is not the only one that gets faced with the cardinal signs and does not back down. also many of us do too. We do it in our finances, relationships and in spirituality. We take risks that we shouldn't and many times we fail to acknowledge how we blatantly were confronted with a glimpse of the repercussions of our actions, yet out of our own narcissism, we chose to go against our gut. In this narrative I choose to speak to those of us that know better.... those of us that believe we are slick and getting away with the various things that we do with precision and skill. I would have to remind you that no matter how well you always cover your tracks... there will always be some sort of trace because an action did indeed take place, and what is done in the dark always comes to light.. and It has been my experience that, when it comes to light, it is never a cost that you have fathomed paying... it is always much more costly and devastating than you expected. It is challenging to reprimand yourself when you feel like you are on cloud nine.. but it could be the difference in life and death. If you ever watch shows like behind the music or Hollywood files, you will often hear the once famed stars say they felt "on top of the world".. I have noticed that often this always comes before some life changing event in their life. I want to encourage those that are "getting" away with it, those that have mastered covering their tracks... to foresee what is destined to come. We must remember.. for ever action there is a reaction... and I would much rather order my steps here on earth than pay in the afterlife.. which is another possible cost.

Let Me Vent Series: P.S.A: Me; My Blog & The Unmitigated Truth

It has come to my attention that some are bothered by my messages and my material, but I just want to share with those that are.... this simple message. My blog is not for you..... it is for me and those that can benefit from it. I have found that in life..... many pitfalls are experienced because we are not honest with each other.. we conceal truths that could make some other person's path smoother. I am not prepared to do that. I am prepared to be the resource that me, myself desperately searched for and needed upon many experiences. I want to enlighten other women of color that they are not alone in their experiences. The fact of the matter is that not all truths are pretty.. not all truths are pleasant, but one thing is for sure... and that is that they remain true. This is my life.. and my journey.. and I will not edit it or withhold it. To whom much is given.. much is required... and unlike the masses.. I am not too intimidated to do it.....


Yours Truly, 
                ~ Afrikan Superstar

Attention Black Girl: It's Ok To Be and Look Like a Black Girl

Whatever you do, don't forget to shine!!!!

Gorgeous Variations;I love my baby sister
Alonee <3

Me & Nicola kicking it in Miami

As I surf the net, read Facebook comments and opinions, watch various YouTube videos and see the black women featured on t.v. and reality shows.. I can't deny that there is a desperate need for someone to remind the black girl (of all nationalities) that it is ok... to be black. It is ok to have colored skin, curves and nappy/kinky/curly hair. I'm just wondering where did the national standard of beauty come from... that makes women of color feel like they have to transform into something else to be beautiful? I think the most attractive piece of anyone is their level of self confidence. I have seen the most ugliest, under dressed, fat and unattractive person ooze with so much confidence that it spilled on to the next person. Self confidence is sexy... its contagious because everyone wants it. What kind of man wants a mopey depressed woman? When you have flavor it shows, and it can be a major game changer. I will use Christopher Wallace aka Notorious B.I.G. as an example. Now before he became famous, all that most could see was a big, black,fat man with a lazy eye, but B.I.G was so confident and it transferred into his music. Next thing you know people were trying to emulate him in his talent and dress. To this day, Versace & Coogi brands are associated with B.I.G because he rocked them faithfully. So the moral of the story is: I know that there are many contrary images that flood our media, and might trick an insecure woman into believing that her look and race is not suffice, but the love, and admiration must come from within. You can never hope for someone else to define you. You were made unique because that is who you are supposed to be. Ascertaining to others looks and such is a colossal waste of energy, meanwhile you could be learning how to refine and perfect your own palette of gorgeous unique talents and gifts. 

Michelle always brings a smile <3

You don't have to believe me, but I am just someone that learned to work with what I have (which also includes a lazy eye) and master it. Now people around me want to emulate me because I appear to be so confident, and I was able to attract a wonderful man.I must credit my parents for teaching me how to love and accept myself. It all begins in the home and with yourself. Parents need to do a better job of peeling their kids away from the computer or T.V. and pouring something valuable into their minds. Lastly, I believe that if more people learned to be themselves, we all could be better resources to other people like us that are struggling. I believe that when people see me, and see me make it and achieve my dreams, it gives them motivation to accomplish things in their own lives, but how can we be examples to others if we ourselves are confused? Such is the versatility of a black woman... let us celebrate!!!!! 

Me and My Girl Markeyta :-)

It Only Takes One (Part Two)

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10101590959391635&l=5977785531837797279

The Most Critical Decade: Your 30's

Not to disregard anyone that may not fall in this decade, but I have to stress the importance of it. Because this is the decade that no one can afford to throw away. If you so choose to blow your 20's there is redemption in your 30's. If you choose not to have children during your 30's..... you put yourself at great risk trying to have them beyond, not to mention you also reduce your life span. Professionally, starting education or trying to establish yourself after 40 will be significantly more difficult. With all that being said, I have taken drastic measures to maximize this time of life. I am pursuing my dreams on a daily basis to ensure that I get as much accomplished as possible. I honestly believe that if we knew the date and time of our end, we would be more aggressive about fulfilling our lives with purpose and accomplishment. For a woman to sacrifice her 30's might mean never having children. If once chooses to forsake higher education or career direction in their 30's it will much more difficult to get started in your 40's. Due to these realizations... i choose to vehemently be about my business 

Cultural Differences....The Newly Married African Wife (Cooking)

Cameroonian Love

This has been the most difficult aspect of marriage for me. As people of color sometimes we may all overlook that we are all very culturally different although our appearance is similar. You could be a brown person from America, Brazil, Africa, the Islands or even Europe... and  based on your environment and upbringing.... we can be vastly different. I never considered it, but I had the best attitude when I decided to begin a relationship with a Cameroonian man. Based on how welcoming his friends and family were, I was anxious to trade in my stars and stripes for a new world. I delved into African Entertainment (music and movies) to become more aware. I researched my husband's country online. I asked him countless questions as to not be perceived as rude or inappropriate around his friends. I listened carefully to their language (Pigden broken English) and kept abreast the conversations as much as possible. These were my efforts of the girlfriend. However as the wife, I was confronted with more difficult aspects of cultural differences. First and foremost.... I would highly suggest learning how to cook food for your husband that he likes. In the African culture... and this goes for all African countries, cooking for your husband and your family is essential. It is perceived as impersonal or lazy to constantly be offering to take someone out to eat vs in the American lifestyle, going out to eat and spending money is perceived as something you do to someone valuable. I am definitely someone that prefers being served and going out, but I learned early from my husband that it was not acceptable . He didn't mind going occasionally.... but throughout the week, he wanted home cooked food. At first I would cook staple foods, grilled chicken and veggies, Spaghetti, potatoes and things like that only to see the food sit in the refrigerator untouched. Apparently my husband enjoyed spicy food, and my food just wasn't packed with the familiar punch he was accustomed. He didn't enjoy most American classics (Macaroni, pizza, pastas, mashed potatoes and such) as some dishes had too much sugar or dairy, which is not always a big part of the African diet. Diary can sometimes be very expensive in Africa. Also he was accustomed to meals cooked from scratch in large portions (I learned to eventually cook on the weekends to last for the whole week). Nonetheless, It hurt my feelings, so after getting frustrated. I would just quit cooking altogether. My husband is a quiet introverted man, so his frustration with my cooking or not cooking would just bottle up inside of him. He wouldn't complain, but would respond in different ways. Eventually I learned a few recipes from online (YouTube was helpful),asked some of his family to email me recipes, and prepared them for him.Now do be prepared to go to the African Market to find some ingredients as everything may not be available in your regular grocer. I asked him ways to make it better, and he helped. Now I do realize some women are stubborn, and they believe that they should not have to make sacrifices and that a man should just take them the way that they are, however I do not subscribe to these foolish ways. I believe in making my husband happy and comfortable... so it was my desire to learn things that he likes to please him. Now if you are dating an African man with hopes or even a notion of the prospect of marriage, I would highly suggest that you cultivate this skill. Some African women do not regard American women as real competition for the African man... which means although he is married to you... they may feel that they still have a chance. Sometimes they will pretend to be a helpful friend to your husband.. by offering to cook his food. To alleviate it this happening, you want to put yourself in the best position by providing him the comforts at home. Be interested in his world, not that you don't have your own needs ,but learn to be accommodating.... because those are the kind of women they are used too and are attracted to. I must admit once I got over the cooking issue, the tension in our house was cut significantly. In my case, my husband did not want to communicate his true feelings on the subject at first, because he didn't want to hurt my feelings, but it was my responsibility to read his strange behaviors and find out what was bothering him. Below, I have showcased some popular meals that can be prepared for you Cameroonian man.... make sure if you search for recipes online you are specific to the country you are looking for, as there are many different variations such as Ghanaian Jelouf rice vs. Cameroonian Jelouf rice.

Tomato Stew: One of my Husband's absolute favorites, and easy to make

Groundnut (Peanut) Soup & Fufu

Jalouf Rice

Eru & Fried Plantains

Puff Puff Balls

Have Fun; Live life

My life has been a journey.... To date I have spent too much of it being serious and concentrating too much on the future at the sacrifice now. If you are like the former me, I would highly encourage you to have fun and live life... attack the concept of your dreams and fantasies as if there is no time left to waste.. Life is much more enjoyable like that :-) Good luck in life and love.


                                                                            ~ Afrikan Superstar 

Women of Color, We Must Learn To Love Ourselves More

The Death of the Submissive Woman & Subsequent Consequences

Please congratulate me on my very first Guest Blog Submission featured on www.Seriously-maybe.com relationship blog.... :-). So Totally stoked!!!!




Let’s face it ladies: we have all been lied to, and the consequences have had devastating effects upon us and the family. We have been groomed to become educated which has resulted in us graduating 2-3 times more than our men. We have learned to become so independent that we don't know how to allow anyone in our matrix, including the mate we so desperately crave. We have learned to conceal our problems, fearing that showing them will make us look weak. We have learned to run the household and contend with our man (which is against the biblical order of things) and yet we wonder why things are so out of order in our lives and in our world? Well I know that the opinion that I am preparing to share is not a popular one. In fact, I have been called outdated and old school, which I indeed admit to being because I believe that the old school mentality in regards to relationships is a model that works. I believe that if we quit trying to modernize every single attribute of life we will be more successful. I believe that is why, against the statistics against black women today, In regards to getting married, I have been able to forge my own path and connect with a great mate. I staunchly follow only two rules: Know my role & Let my husband be and feel in charge. As a woman, despite the high levels of education that you achieve, you are no man…. And you never will be. To become successful in a world in which double standards run rampant, a woman must learn to humble herself. Otherwise you will continue to see that you are unable to do and achieve the same results as your male counterparts, and possibly end up frustrated and alone. It’s not fair and it is certainly not what we believed would come from empowering ourselves, but it is the truth. Secondly, I have learned that although I have the highest influence in my house, it is essential for my husband’s ego that he feels in charge of our home. Emasculating your husband will do you much more harm than good so I have learned to let some things go, although I may very well be right. I have learned to speak to him with care instead of being harsh. I have learned to rule with a gentle, feminine approach. Now I understand that many women will refuse my advice, however I would pose that if you continue to find yourself lonely because you prefer to dictate, dominate and contend with possible suitors perhaps you may consider trying a different approach. After all it was this same way that made your grandmother and your mother successful, and if you come from a long string of independent single women… it could be the same flaw that they also refused to learn. All I can share is being ladylike worked for me.

Not For Me: Open letter to the Arrogant Black Man

Dear Arrogant Black Man,


I think I should be the one to tell you not all black women are desperate.. that not all pine after any man that walks past them.. not all will reduce their standards.... and I happen to be in that group. Although I see many many sisters that have cheapened themselves by actually believing that their entire existence is about finding a man.. I am quite confident that there are equal or more that know their value... and I'm not talking about your over zealous, feminist, independent, attitude toting females that will flip the script the first time a man looks their way... I'm talking about the real sisters doing this thing called life without regrets and #Winning.

Let me first begin by addressing all these sorry brothers who think more of themselves than they should.... Let me tell you, you are no prize.. you are ordinary,common.... a dime a dozen. Any women with two eyes can see that you can repeatedly and repetitively be replaced... *snap* just like that. You think you are a hot commodity because of your nice car, college education or average looks? You think any woman is lucky to be graced with your presence??? Really? When you stroll around with your exotic, white or non black female.... you think all the sisters in the area are paying attention to you guys???..... Na... you couldn't be further from the truth, not all of us...Na. And I am no bitter, angry black woman... I am gorgeous and happily married to and African man that was prepared to provide me the comforts and the commitment that you were unprepared or unable to give.... My man came with no tattoos, children or unhealthy habits (smoking or drinking to say the least). He speaks multiple languages, is well educated and quite handsome. Even in some crazy chain of events something occurred to my husband.. I would marry African all over again... most Black American men are lame to me, just to be honest..... and I just thought I would let you know.In my opinion, African men are the cream of the crop, and that's why for me.. you are yesterday's news. I'm excited the other women chose to inherit your issues.... it was a path I was never ever prepared to subject myself too.. a bunch of runts.. smh... I have heard you dog black females in so many ways.. although your mother is one... and often so is the mother of your children. Calling them, ghetto, loud, and drama just to name a few. Now I know it does certainly apply to some.... but many of us are not that way... and you are too intimidated to even interact with a woman that has her own. You prefer to deal with the impressionable,controllable,naive and ignorant ones. It makes you feel comfortable, or the need to be less responsible. I craved a man that still wanted to run his house. A man that had a desire to provide and protect his woman... a man that was able to see my value and not be afraid to let the whole world know where he stood.. Not an arrogant man yet a confident man. Also for the record, I'm not attracted to hood guys.. never have been. I have always known engaging in that kind of relationship was short lived. I have always considered my future.. and I guess that's why I never considered you. By chance if you have managed to attract a gorgeous, sophisticated black woman please do her right... she will always be loyal to you, and put you first if you know how to finesse her. As for the rest.... I am happy you are doing your thing, wherever you can... because again.... you are no prize.

*DISCLAIMER.... this letter goes out to a certain type of black man... not all of them... and all opinions and views are those exclusively of www.blkandtrue.blogspot.com owner and author Jeena Effoe.

Signed 
~Afrikan Superstar

Have a Good Day from www.blkandtrue.blogspot.com

#Winning

Mr. & Mrs

I had to write a post to all my wonderful followers & subscribers and shout out another lady Mrs Haiku Taiwo from Jacksonville, Florida who is also married to an West African Nigerian man. She kindly reminded me today that I am working toward making one of my dreams come true, helping other African American women hear and learn the truth. As promised..... If you show me love, I will show you love. Thank you Haiku!!!!! <3 I wish you and your husband the best!

The Night President Barak Obama got Elected

Now, I know so many dissertations have been shared on this, but on my blog, I choose to share my feelings... because honestly I remember that night like it was yesterday. I remember utter shock as they announced the outcome of the election, the pride that ensued in my heart after his invigorating speech, and the sorrow for what I knew was to follow his tremendous accomplishments. I will never take the historic feat away from President Obama, but I knew that only because the climate of this country was in such disarray, would a black man ever step into the oval office.. Now as the years have passed, I still see the shear hate for our charismatic president. I see the unwillingness of the different wings of government to work collectively.. I see the gray that has taken over the once jet black full head of hair. I know the inner defeat that President Obama must feel, the sacrifice that Michelle endures as the public watches her every move and attacks her family.... the frustration that although both of them, well educated and professional, still get no appreciation. No accolades. The way the media boldly calls President Obama simply Obama with no respect.. and the way the ignorant crowd of first time voters that put him in office impatiently turn against him. The way the American public has made it a race thing... how so many refuse to even acknowledge him because he is black... (which in reality, Barak, is of mixed background). I endured hate because President Obama took office, some whites lashed out at me.. not even knowing or asking me my thoughts on the election, yet all out of assumption because I am black too. I wonder about the colored "American" dream. Why it has been such a difficult pill to be swallowed? I feel for him deeply in a way that many black people will never acknowledge... I question the costs of taking such a role.. as I regard it as totally not worth it... Not worth all the scrutiny from these careless, critical, reckless bastards. I think about the impact to his daughters, and how it has forever changed their lives.. I worry about their safety both while he is in office, and once his term is up. I question the loyalty of those protecting him, and wonder if they would go to all lengths to keep him safe. And all these thoughts are politics aside, as I am republican and didn't even vote in either election. These are concerned thoughts of a black woman in an aggressive racist world. Knowing that before he even became elected the issues in America are related to a moral crisis, where the crowd leads the leaders, and those in position are too fearful to upset the American public. Violence and confusion are rampant. And I have lived in this country when it flowed with prosperity. When a shooting in a school was the furthest thing on a young students mind. When a youth longed to grow up... when the future seemed brighter. I realized that no matter the man that took office, without a return to God... we will continued to be on a strained path. No one wishes to hear that truth, instead of revering those that speak it.... We are attacked with a vengeance. Its sad and disheartening... and after the complete slander of President Obama, I am reminded of just that...the times that we are currently living in.

Communication

As I shared my honest heart and feelings yesterday with someone who is so precious to me, I realized how very critical communication is in all forms of relationships. Denying your friend/lover the opportunity to understand the depths of your thoughts and heart hurts both parties. After the conversation I felt like a million pounds had been lifted off me because we were able to talk candidly about a difficult situation in which neither one of us had been able to reach a conclusion too. You hear it often, but so many of us neglect to keep the doors off communication open. I suggest that you regularly make an effort to communicate with those that are important to you, It can be the difference between a failed friendship/relationship and a lasting one.