Saturday, February 8, 2014

The Death of the Submissive Woman & Subsequent Consequences

Please congratulate me on my very first Guest Blog Submission featured on relationship blog.... :-). So Totally stoked!!!!

Let’s face it ladies: we have all been lied to, and the consequences have had devastating effects upon us and the family. We have been groomed to become educated which has resulted in us graduating 2-3 times more than our men. We have learned to become so independent that we don't know how to allow anyone in our matrix, including the mate we so desperately crave. We have learned to conceal our problems, fearing that showing them will make us look weak. We have learned to run the household and contend with our man (which is against the biblical order of things) and yet we wonder why things are so out of order in our lives and in our world? Well I know that the opinion that I am preparing to share is not a popular one. In fact, I have been called outdated and old school, which I indeed admit to being because I believe that the old school mentality in regards to relationships is a model that works. I believe that if we quit trying to modernize every single attribute of life we will be more successful. I believe that is why, against the statistics against black women today, In regards to getting married, I have been able to forge my own path and connect with a great mate. I staunchly follow only two rules: Know my role & Let my husband be and feel in charge. As a woman, despite the high levels of education that you achieve, you are no man…. And you never will be. To become successful in a world in which double standards run rampant, a woman must learn to humble herself. Otherwise you will continue to see that you are unable to do and achieve the same results as your male counterparts, and possibly end up frustrated and alone. It’s not fair and it is certainly not what we believed would come from empowering ourselves, but it is the truth. Secondly, I have learned that although I have the highest influence in my house, it is essential for my husband’s ego that he feels in charge of our home. Emasculating your husband will do you much more harm than good so I have learned to let some things go, although I may very well be right. I have learned to speak to him with care instead of being harsh. I have learned to rule with a gentle, feminine approach. Now I understand that many women will refuse my advice, however I would pose that if you continue to find yourself lonely because you prefer to dictate, dominate and contend with possible suitors perhaps you may consider trying a different approach. After all it was this same way that made your grandmother and your mother successful, and if you come from a long string of independent single women… it could be the same flaw that they also refused to learn. All I can share is being ladylike worked for me.

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