So... I'm sure many of you know that I have married a very handsome African man from the country of Cameroon and diving into the wonderful world of their culture & food has been enlightening. With my very own mother being foreign (from the beautiful island Bermuda) I have always been very receptive and intrigued by others from abroad. Over the years I could clearly see the differences from the American youth I was surrounded with everyday, and I was always drawn to the ways of the foreign youth. Many things that I enjoy about my husband are second nature to him because that was how he was raised. Unfortunately & honestly, there are many things I don't enjoy about some American guys I have dated in the past. Some black men feel on a pedestal if they are actually doing the functions of an educated, adult young person, and that you are fortunate to have them. Others just have way too much baggage. Either they have children from previous relationships or bad habits: Smoking, drinking, lack of motivation, and or lack of independence.Unlike many women I know though, I was not afraid to step out the box in regards to my love life. Too many women are loyal to men that refuse to entertain their expectations for the course of the relationship. Prior to marrying, I dated Spanish, White and Islander. I online-dated. I kept an open mind that love could possible come in a different package. Had I had tunnel vision, I would have overlooked my husband because he was 'different' than the normal. You see, the area of commitment & family is not a struggle for foreign people because it is a concept in which they have been exposed to all their lives. My husband's community is very connected. Whereas, unfortunately in our country, many have not had the benefits of seeing that vision, so they then lack the expectation of producing it for themselves. Progression is not a fear for many of them that have decided to move to the U.S. and they are very ambitious. My husband's friends are doctor's, engineers, bankers and pharmacists. They are handsome, tall with good genes and gorgeous teeth. They work hard and will provide without prodding, and I can't speak for every home, but my husband is a very calm person. He has never raised his voice or hand to me... even in taxing situations. As hard as they work, they party.. at the appropriate time, and I give you all this information as to share how much I truly enjoy going to African parties and events with my husband and our friends. A few weeks ago, we attended a huge party to commemorate Ghana's independence day (March 6th) at the beautiful Valleydale party hall.
Some sweet differences from and African party versus an Black party:
Every body will be dressed up...nobody wants to be that scrub -_-
My husband, cousins and friend
Mr. & Mrs Effoe
Fresh too death
Both guys and girls will dance the night away....no wall flowers
Get it, get it!!!!
It's going down
No Violence and great music the whole night through!
In closing:
Ladies, I would seriously encourage you to be more open minded about
dating. If you are unhappy and under appreciated where you are and who
you are with.. it is time to move on. Some men will treat you as the
valuable person that you are. With previous guys, they didn't want to
take me anywhere... spend and money or give me a title. Now I hit the
jackpot! My husband proudly takes me with him, we go to movies out to
eat.. He even will come with me sometimes to hang out with my parents.
Not to say that every relationship wont have its troubles, because we
certainly had to get over some cultural differences, however, the time I
spend investing in my marriage to make it better is outweighed by the
benefits of having this man in my life and in our future. I thank God
for bringing him across seas to find me. Together, we will become more.
Above is a hot party track from the Ghanian community, check it out!!!
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