This morning I chuckled to myself as I ventured to the cafeteria in the large corporate building in which I work. As I strolled down the hallways, I noticed how my eye contact and warm smile was received or not received, and I thought to myself what an easy indicator of emotional problems this behavior shows. Naturally, the black gentlemen of all ages met my smile with a smile except for Mr. Identity crisis, otherwise known as the Kobe Bryant's;Tiger Woods of the world. Lmbo. The white men (except those that socialize with black people) avoided eye contact and did not acknowledge me whatsoever. Unfortunately, I thought because unbeknownst to so many lonely white men, a lot of us black women find them very attractive, and have many things in common. The white women would do a bit of all three. There were some that would return my smile with a smile, some that would scowl or look at me with confusion as to why I was smiling at them (usually older), and just a few that would completely ignore me (your conservative upper crust types). Now, certainly not least, but perhaps the most complex, were the black women. The older black women would smile back at me, and often speak. Then you had the obvious ghetto divas that had attitude to boot, looking me up and down, and then looking on without making eye contact or smiling. Then there were the confident, nice girls like myself that were comfortable exchanging my warmth. I surmised that the phenomenon I experienced had everything to do with them…. Not me. I gave the same demeanor across the board, but it was interesting how it was received. Some of this relates to home training. I was raised to acknowledge others presence, and that It was rude to ignore people. I was also made to understand the eyes are the window to the soul, hence why some hide their eyes from others, to prevent the true expression of their soul. Lastly, your reception of others reflects how you look at yourself. Some wondered why I would smile and what was ‘wrong’ with me; that it was too early to be energized. Some wished that I wasn’t there and chose to ignore me completely, and unfortunately in the minority, some understood that I was happy and blessed to have another day. That despite any troubles that I have… I am so fortunate and that I wish to speak that not only with words, but in body language, consistently, everyday.
Why I’m bringing this to life:
Because I think that some people don’t realize they easily share so much information about themselves by the way they interact others. I challenge those of you that fit in the various categories to be objective about your body language, and the way you receive others. After all, we all have problems, but if you are unhappy about your life… remember, it that is your problem and not mine. You shouldn’t be so crystal clear…. Add some mystery by being consistently cool.