Tuesday, December 23, 2014

A lesson of maturity; transitioning from girlfriend to wife

In America women are promoted to be equal with our men. We are told that we can lead our houses just like men. We go to the finest schools, buy expensive power-suits,enter corporate America and lead. we are taught to believe that we can operate successfully like a man in every dimension, which is mortally false. These are some of the reasons I believe we struggle to find love with a real man, or if we manage to attract real man, the reason I believe we fail to maintain it. As a wife i have accepted the fact that I can not contend with my husband. I have watched as the double standards have penetrated our house and its not just my house... but the house of all my other married friends as well. A real wife must be patient and humble. which is the complete inverse for many of us that have been molded into this 'independent'creature. Its hard for us to sit back and let someone take the credit for all of our hard work. After all, we climbed the ladder on our own recognizance, no one ever made excuses for us. However I am here to tell you... none of that matters if you desire to have the type of man that will take care of you. Your marriage will require the utmost level of sacrifice and you will have to deprogram all that you have been taught of the 'independent' woman. There is a reason that marriage of yesteryear survived so long... and I believe it in large part to attributed to women knowing their place... It was never that the husbands didn't challenge the wives... but it was the take of the wives on the importance of the commitment and the togetherness of the family that convinced them to push through tough times. It taught resilience.. which is now absent in our current culture. As a girlfriend, you can make demands.. you get the luxury of liberty; or pushing the boundaries, but as the wife you will find yourself locked into sometimes extremely taxing and trying situations. It took me a while to learn the difference between a wife and a girlfriend. The girlfriend stage is all about you whereas the wife stage is all about him. I must also again state these are the thoughts and opinion of my blog.. you dont have to subscribe to them in any way.... but these are my real life observations. Especially if you happen to be dating an African man.. you will def experience the difference. African men cherish their wives, no matter what. They look at her as someone to be respected and not defiled. As the girlfriend you will experience more liberty.

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