Showing posts with label Black women married to foreigners. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Black women married to foreigners. Show all posts

Friday, March 21, 2014

Cultural Differences: The African King.. To Be Respected



Unlike some or the weak black men of the United States that lack confidence, an African man knows his identity.. he knows his place, and aspires to measure up to his potential. From the time he is born, he is celebrated and fussed about. He grows up in a culture that respects and caters too African men and promotes brotherhood among each other. If you are courting with an African man, you must understand this, and provide him the utmost respect. You may also invest time and research to learning about his culture as you develop your relationship. Not that you have to sacrifice your character, but it will make understanding your man much easier. In African cultures, the woman is the backbone of the family, she pulls it together, but the man is the head of the family, just as the Bible has always instructed. I have heard many people talk about how arrogant African men appear to be, however if you understand where he is coming from, you can decode him. I honestly believe that people mistake an African's confidence as arrogance. In many cases foreign men have lived very well abroad and are accustomed to a certain quality of life. This can be defined as lifestyle. 
Caring for your man shows him your appreciation. Small things such as serving his meal, complimenting him and his contributions to your family and other small thoughtful gestures stroke him to the core. He may not verbalize it, but it solidifies his manhood. Unlike American men, African men strongly embody the responsibility of their families. You will never see an African man living comfortably while his children go without or his wife is left miserable. You can always be assured that as he holds himself to a high standard, he is well aware that his family is also an extension of himself. He will pursue education tirelessly and work consistently. At his side you will see progress as he shares his blessings with you. 
African men love black women, and seek to begin families with one. They love us in a varieties of colors and appreciate our curvy figures. My husband never complains about my looks unlike some extremely critical American guys I have dated in the past that were constantly trying to mold me into something else. Exploits with women outside of their race are not always honored or recognized by their families, and unlike some American men, African men respect their family and desire to please their parents.
From my experience, African men are peaceful, quiet men.They desire to have a harmonious household and will do their part to help. I have never known one to raise their hand or be violent although it is a stereotype I am constantly confronted with. My husband holds in his emotions never ever raising his voice at me when he is frustrated. It requires me meeting him on his level. Naturally being raised here in the United States teaches a woman to be more verbal and assertive. I learned early on not to approach him like this. It got me nowhere. When you are dealing with someone special you have to learn to have respect in the way that you address them, and just like the age old saying you will always be able to get more flies with honey than with vinegar. 
If you happen to date a foreign man, remember that he is different. Learn how to communicate calmly with him, as you may have gotten a wrong impression from him, that was not meant in the context that you took it. I have found that people that were not raised here are a bit more free thinking and innocent. Although many Americans of are defensive and cautious of people, foreigners tend to see the best of situations. I have found that my husband is devoid of many emotional issues, and is very trusting of people, however with time, he has acclimated to life in America.
Hoped this provided some proper instruction on how to regard your precious African man....and insight :-)

Saturday, March 16, 2013

U kno we goin party hard

The Valleydale
So... I'm sure many of you know that I have married a very handsome African man from the country of Cameroon and diving into the wonderful world of their culture & food has been enlightening. With my very own mother being foreign (from the beautiful island Bermuda) I have always been very receptive and intrigued by others from abroad. Over the years I could clearly see the differences from the American youth I was surrounded with everyday, and I was always drawn to the ways of the foreign youth. Many things that I enjoy about my husband are second nature to him because that was how he was raised. Unfortunately & honestly, there are many things I don't enjoy about some American guys I have dated in the past. Some black men feel on a pedestal if they are actually doing the functions of an educated, adult young person, and that you are fortunate to have them. Others just have way too much baggage. Either they have children from previous relationships or bad habits: Smoking, drinking, lack of motivation, and or lack of independence.Unlike many women I know though, I was not afraid to step out the box in regards to my love life. Too many women are loyal to men that refuse to entertain their expectations for the course of the relationship. Prior to marrying, I dated Spanish, White and Islander. I online-dated. I kept an open mind that love could possible come in a different package. Had I had tunnel vision, I would have overlooked my husband because he was 'different' than the normal. You see, the area of commitment & family is not a struggle for foreign people because it is a concept in which they have been exposed to all their lives. My husband's community is very connected. Whereas, unfortunately in our country, many have not had the benefits of seeing that vision, so they then lack the expectation of producing it for themselves. Progression is not a fear for many of them that have decided to move to the U.S. and they are very ambitious. My husband's friends are doctor's, engineers, bankers and pharmacists. They are handsome, tall with good genes and gorgeous teeth. They work hard and will provide without prodding, and I can't speak for every home, but my husband is a very calm person. He has never raised his voice or hand to me... even in taxing situations. As hard as they work, they party.. at the appropriate time, and I give you all this information as to share how much I truly enjoy going to African parties and events with my husband and our friends. A few weeks ago, we attended a huge party to commemorate Ghana's independence day (March 6th) at the beautiful Valleydale party hall.

Some sweet differences from and African party versus an Black party:

Every body will be dressed up...nobody wants to be that scrub -_- 

My husband, cousins and friend
Mr. & Mrs Effoe
Fresh too death

 

Both guys and girls will dance the night away....no wall flowers

Get it, get it!!!!

It's going down



No Violence and great music the whole night through!

In closing:
Ladies, I would seriously encourage you to be more open minded about dating. If you are unhappy and under appreciated where you are and who you are with.. it is time to move on. Some men will treat you as the valuable person that you are. With previous guys, they didn't want to take me anywhere... spend and money or give me a title. Now I hit the jackpot! My husband proudly takes me with him, we go to movies out to eat.. He even will come with me sometimes to hang out with my parents. Not to say that every relationship wont have its troubles, because we certainly had to get over some cultural differences, however, the time I spend investing in my marriage to make it better is outweighed by the benefits of having this man in my life and in our future. I thank God for bringing him across seas to find me. Together, we will become more.

 Above is a hot party track from the Ghanian community, check it out!!!