Bridging the Gap (African American & African Relations)

I learned very early in the game that I was not white... although smart and vibrant amongst my mostly white class at the private school I attended for most of my childhood life. Inasmuch as I tried to fit in with them, I never did. The next most natural response that i could come up with was assimilating with black people. Seemed quite logical that if I didn't belong with those that I had been raised with, I belonged elsewhere. However due to my complexion, and the way I spoke I wasn't always well received by my black American peers either, coupled with the fact that I had already cultivated fine tastes in which some of my peers could not relate.. I found my self caught between a tug of war. Some people are not ok with their blackness. They spend their whole life wishing to be something else. I never saw my blackness as a weakness, yet as a strength. I have also gravitated towards foreigners because I felt that they could relate to the type of lifestyle I am looking to cultivate. Pursuing foreigners has brought a host of other unforeseen issues, as I had to learn that cultural differences do indeed exist even between people of color. One huge conflict that rips me apart is that between Native Africans (born and raised in Africa) and Black Americans (born and raised in the United States). It the ridiculous stereotypes that Americans have against Africans.. coupled by the perceived 'arrogant' attitudes of the Africans. Being a product of a mixed and blended family, I found some aspects of it as a magnet for hate, envy and confusion. I gradually decided I would put the blackness back in my future by reconnecting with Africans. To date I have made great strides, and I am certain I'll leave behind a legacy my children will love. One that helps them embrace not only their own blackness, but that of others. My deep love for people of color shocks everyone , but most of all other people of color. Fortunately through social media I have been connecting with people worldwide, and it saddens me that so many of them are anxious to move to the U.S, although (from my travels I am actually permitted to compare and contrast) some of their quality of life is better in their home country. The whole purpose of writing this blog and by having my YouTube channel is dispelling some stereotypes and speaking the truth. I desire to know Africans better, I desire for them to teach me about my blackness in its purest form.I want to be more resourceful. I honestly believe so much is to be gained if we bridge this gap.. Will you help me?

Black Woman... You are so gorgeous.....

With all the most disparaging things in the American media that can damage and discourage black women, I can not cease to remind all my women of color... how gorgeous you are.. how fantastic and smart you are... and full of innovation. Today, I want to highlight five of our most beautiful qualities:

1. OUR HUMOR
I have to admit.. my friends are some of the most witty and uplifting people I know. They have great spirits and a great sense of humor. I love the fact that in times of despair they are there to restore and alleviate some of life's stresses momentarily.

Some of my most fondest people: Tina,Michelle and Mom

2.OUR "KEEP-IT-TOGETHER-NESS"
No one keeps it all together like my black sisters. We manage to keep our hair together, run a household, take classes, and work a full time job. We balance church with the gym. We make meals out of scraps. We have social lives as we carefully care for our children. Other races marvel at our tenacity and ability to manage so many things at one time.. Kudos, Girl.... keep doing your thing!

Working Girl

3.OUR BOLDNESS
If one thing is for sure, we do not shy when the opportunity to represent,speak up,correct and support comes. From Rosa Parks to Michelle Obama. From Oprah to Sybrina Fulton (Treyvon Martin's Mom).From Aretha to Billie Holiday.... we consistently deliver creativity and heart.We have the ability to shed light and bring about change. We motivate others in our various circles.. and it is an aspect that we do naturally. I am proud of all me women of color that speak from the heart and strategize from their minds..

IN THIS GYM... GOING HARD #TeamSideProfile

4.OUR LOYALTY
We are loyal to the core, no matter the area of our lives. A black woman will not turn her back on her children. If she is a professional, she is full of ambition excelling to the highest of heights. For her man, she will invest and love with all her heart. No one can pull her from her faith... she will trust in God without reservation and dedicate her life. A friend will be a friend for life, even if we have a disagreement or grow apart. I love the fact that I have grown with some of my friends. It is such a blessing to be surrounded by people I know will be there for me on both sunny and rainy days. <3

Me and Morrisa... #FriendsForever

5. OUR VARIETY
I love the versatility of women of color. Some go natural.. some look like Beyonce. Some are petite and some are Amazon women, but its all beauty. It shows the handiwork of our Lord and his divine creativity. We are unmatched. Some of our best physical features are given naturally as the others clamor to augment themselves. Celebrate yourselves! Variety is the spice of life! 

My little sister Alonee and I <3

The Creation of Single-Motherdom; Daddy's Maybe, Mother's Baby

With Mother's day just passing.. I find it fitting to discuss my reasoning behind the disproportionate single motherhood that cradles the African American community. Many will not want to hear or acknowledge this truth.. but it is still relevant. I read my Facebook feed yesterday and was somewhat disappointed in many of the status's from the single mothers because I happened to know some of their stories personally. I happened to know how they understood clearly the questionable circumstances they were bringing children into, yet they proceeded. I remembered hearing the warnings from family, friends and even sometimes the other women that also had children with these guys, yet for some reason, the women still chose to believe and hope to a fault. Now fast forward to present times... and these same women complain that the father of their children wants no parts. He chooses not to invest in their child. Chooses not to support and is cold and is also callous to the mother of their child/children. Common sense would tell someone that in many many cases the past is a great indicator of future performance. Therefore, I believe that BAD JUDGEMENT is the #1 source of this epidemic. I hold the women mostly responsible for their own demise, although it takes two to make the baby. In every childbirth the woman is the one that sacrifices the most. They have everything to lose or gain by an unwanted pregnancy which requires an elevated sense of prevention. We have seen it as a reoccurring theme in our culture, and should not be so foolish to ignore the cardinal signs, this is not a game. This is our future... One can not inflict responsibility. One can not mature another person or impute the importance of parenthood... Such things are an individual's responsibility. Honestly I believe most these culprits hope falsely that the child would be the glue that bonds the relationship.

Now perhaps you feel like I'm coming way too hard on the ladies, but I am more concerned with the social impacts to our community too sit by idly as I see my peers making repetitive mistakes. I am upset that in a society where we have the most exposure and the most prevention of unwanted/unplanned pregnancies, this issue is still rampant. I understand the unforeseen factors that have fostered some single parents, but the vast majority of people are CHOOSING this walk, and they are sacrificing the best interests of their children for their selfishness and foolishness. I once crossed one of the most gorgeous women I have ever seen in my life, who shared with me she was Haitian and Indian. I proceeded to ask her if she had ever been to India, and that's when she poured out some the of the realities of her specific experience. She shared with me that neither her mother or father could handle her birth, and that she had been shuffled around foster cares her whole life. She told me of the struggle to find herself because of the lack of connection to her heritage. I wondered what her parents motives were.. if it was a one night stand or forbidden union. Both of them failed to take any responsibility, and left their baby girl to find her way on her own. One moment of conception totally shaped someone else's life. Becoming a parent should never be taken as lightly as it is in modern day society. On moment of pleasure impacts the whole world. Think intently about the quality of your child's life, childhood and future before you rashly make choices. Word.

The Night President Barak Obama got Elected

Now, I know so many dissertations have been shared on this, but on my blog, I choose to share my feelings... because honestly I remember that night like it was yesterday. I remember utter shock as they announced the outcome of the election, the pride that ensued in my heart after his invigorating speech, and the sorrow for what I knew was to follow his tremendous accomplishments. I will never take the historic feat away from President Obama, but I knew that only because the climate of this country was in such disarray, would a black man ever step into the oval office.. Now as the years have passed, I still see the shear hate for our charismatic president. I see the unwillingness of the different wings of government to work collectively.. I see the gray that has taken over the once jet black full head of hair. I know the inner defeat that President Obama must feel, the sacrifice that Michelle endures as the public watches her every move and attacks her family.... the frustration that although both of them, well educated and professional, still get no appreciation. No accolades. The way the media boldly calls President Obama simply Obama with no respect.. and the way the ignorant crowd of first time voters that put him in office impatiently turn against him. The way the American public has made it a race thing... how so many refuse to even acknowledge him because he is black... (which in reality, Barak, is of mixed background). I endured hate because President Obama took office, some whites lashed out at me.. not even knowing or asking me my thoughts on the election, yet all out of assumption because I am black too. I wonder about the colored "American" dream. Why it has been such a difficult pill to be swallowed? I feel for him deeply in a way that many black people will never acknowledge... I question the costs of taking such a role.. as I regard it as totally not worth it... Not worth all the scrutiny from these careless, critical, reckless bastards. I think about the impact to his daughters, and how it has forever changed their lives.. I worry about their safety both while he is in office, and once his term is up. I question the loyalty of those protecting him, and wonder if they would go to all lengths to keep him safe. And all these thoughts are politics aside, as I am republican and didn't even vote in either election. These are concerned thoughts of a black woman in an aggressive racist world. Knowing that before he even became elected the issues in America are related to a moral crisis, where the crowd leads the leaders, and those in position are too fearful to upset the American public. Violence and confusion are rampant. And I have lived in this country when it flowed with prosperity. When a shooting in a school was the furthest thing on a young students mind. When a youth longed to grow up... when the future seemed brighter. I realized that no matter the man that took office, without a return to God... we will continued to be on a strained path. No one wishes to hear that truth, instead of revering those that speak it.... We are attacked with a vengeance. Its sad and disheartening... and after the complete slander of President Obama, I am reminded of just that...the times that we are currently living in.